Have any of you heard getting a gift even...

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That is how I always did put what you could afford plus roughly what the plates cost per person.

I bought a gift for her bridal shower and then money at the wedding.

Poor her she has three of us getting married around the same time next year. I said to her see what you started lol

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I always felt that the you put money in the card is to cover the meal and drinks (if its an open bar) for you and your partner/guest...

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I feel like if you say yes and then last minute can't go then I would send them a gift and a sorry note. But if I RSVP no unless I am super close to that person.

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Same I would never have thought this was a thing and would not expect anything if they were or were not coming.

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That's how I feel, never heard of that. it's something my FMIL brought up because we were not going to his cousins wedding and going to my friends instead. He is not close to his cousin at all, they haven't seen each other or spoken to each other in 5 years. My close friend invited me when she was originally suppose to get married when Covid first hit and we talk on a daily basis.

I think it depends who that person is to the couple and maybe why they aren't attending. Perhaps if you were meaning to attend and you had to change your rsvp, then a gift makes sense? I think this is a personal choice more than a rule.

Never heard of this before.

Never heard of this before. I certainly would not be expecting a gift. If the person who's invited wants to give one that's entirely up to them but I've never heard of this being 'customary'.

I haven't heard of this nor would I expect it.

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Good to know, this is the first I hear this so was just curious.

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I am glad my MIL stepped in and gave them money on our end, I've never met them and my FH is not close to them at all. Since we had already bought a gift for my friends wedding money was tight so it was greatly appreciated that she did that for us. Just never heard of that before.

Same I would only do it if I knew them. I never knew they existed until I was told we were invited.

I would say that’s pretty standard. You don’t have to but it’s a nice thing to do since you can’t celebrate with them.

Guests who give gifts monetary or boxed and don't att3nd are still doing something on their end. Appreciate the thought of what they are giving though they may not financially able to make it.
I know part of the Indian culture is to give the couple a gift though they couldn't make it to the wedding itself. This applies to any shower events if one family shows up representing the family

I don't know if it's expected, but it's certainly the nice thing to do... definitely a smaller gift is acceptable as you're not costing them anything but it's still a huge day for them and very special. We had to limit our guest list to 50 people after sending out the invites already, and many had already said no due to covid - only ONE couple (that we didn't have to cut) did not send a card or gift and we were shocked. They are friends of ours and we know it's not a cash flow issue. Not even a card (which would have meant a lot to me). It was very obvious. We always send some sort of gift even if we aren't attending.

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Same I don't expect any gifts if people say no, if this is the case I'm only inviting people I know won't make it. lol

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We were invited to two weddings on the same day, one was my good friend who has been trying to get married twice now so I already RSVP 2 years ago. The second was for his cousin that I have never met or knew existed and invited us in May for a Wedding in June.

My FMIL mentioned that she gave a monetary gift in our names as it's customary when invited and even though we said no.

I've never heard of that or seen it anywhere. Just curious to see who's done this and is this an actual thing. I would said money if I had RSVP'D yes and wasn't able to go. But not just because I was invited. If that's the case I owe a few presents . I wouldn't expect anyone to do the same.

I wouldn't expect a gift from a couple that didnt attend.

I think some people might do this. Send a card with maybe some cash when sending in a RSVP. I wouldn't expect this though, and personally I would only send a gift when RSVPing no if I knew the couple really well and felt bad I couldn't make it.