Hardest adjustment so far?

Soon to be married, long time common law. A, B, and C have been easy. Hardest challenges so far have been dealing with a bout of severe depression, dealing with parents aging, having serious illnesses, and dying when living thousand of miles away, and infertility issues.

Hardest adjustment so far has been the fact that I am such a planner and that he is very not! Been tricky at times but we work together to make sure it all works out in the end! He tried to be more ahead of things and I try to be more laid back when it comes to plans and let things just happen sometimes!

Wedding planning has been mostly me! Which I honestly do not mind in the slightest! I'll do a lot of the research and then we sit and discuss together! I wouldn't make a decision without him but I'll do all the primary research!

Finances.
I’m Canadian. He’s American. He moved here and can’t work until his open work permit is approved. Annnnnd we’re planning a wedding.
But it’s cool. We’ll get by and will
have stories to tell our kids.💜

I’d say C:
My family doesn’t travel much, so it’s easier to plan on coming back for the holidays. That being said, his family loves to spend xmas in the US, so it definitely makes it harder for us to plan when we’re going back to our hometown, when we’ll be traveling to the US and when we want to stay home for a more intimate holiday season, and have it match with everybody else’s plans.

All of the above.

A. His space since i was the one moving north to a trailer home. I had a lot of things coming and eventuallt downsized.

B. Financially, i put out more than he does still until now. It hasn't changed one bit.

C. Every christmas day is his aunts home in Pickering and alternate with my family at times. Indian new year is always my family.

Sharing space!

Finances was actually easy. Family is easy since he doesn't spend holidays with his family.

But, my space was hard to give up! I love coming home to him but I don't have "my" space anymore--we share every room. Even though I set up my corner in the spare bedroom, his computer is in there too.

Mine is C. He has 5 sisters and is very close to them. He would like to have as much as possible holidays back to his hometown and spend lots of time with them. Even on holiday outside the country, he would suggest to invite his sisters and their husbands to tag along. I, on the other hand, have been living away from my family for many years. I prefer a more private life.

I would say holidays. Only certain ones are difficult, others are easy because either my family isnt around, or his family doesn't really do anything.

We're really good with living with each other. We've lived together about 5.5 years, dating for a few months longer than that...

Finances are not so much an issue as just a bit of a stressful point, as most of our relationship has been one of us in school, or starting a new job, or him being out of work (unions and off-season). But in terms of sharing things, it's not an issue.

Holiday would be it for sure. My parents are divorced, have been since I was 7, so split holidays and sharing days are my norm... his parents are still together and not having us on Christmas Day every year, or sharing Thanksgiving is a reeeeally weird concept for them. We're looking forward to the time where we can have our own home and just make them all come to us. (Even though we'd still have a second everything with my dad's side)...

Probably finances, we both spend money on things the other thinks isn't worth it. But we do not fight about it, it is kind of like umm do you need that? Yes? Okay then! But this is also why we are always broke haha

View quoted message This is exactly what my FH and I went through! Haha. I was always “what’s wrong? Is it me?” And then I’m all like “just listen, don’t tell me to quit my job, let me just complain” lol
If we do argue, we both start aggressively cleaning. It helps from time to time haha

For us I'd go with C) since we live far away from families that if they catch wind that we're in Southern Ontario, they ask if we have time to visit.

We usually can't make it down for every holiday, and sometimes he can't go for Christmas (law enforcement). I usually go down for a week either way at Christmas and this year I might go to my in-laws solo.

We've both lived away from home for awhile now so we're not expected at every holiday but now there's double the family to visit that a week doesn't feel like enough.

None of the above actually..
We moved in together 4 months into our relationship and we both quickly adjusted to that with no issues. Financial we also adjusted, we got a joint account and have used that ever since. We talk about financial things so that it never becomes an issue.
Sharing holidays also came naturally to me because my parents are divorced so I'm used to having holidays all over the place.
The biggest thing j actually had to adjust to was always having family around, since mine is all over the place we don't see each other often and his family was always right there.

FH and I bought a house together 2 years ago after living together for a little bit. I'd say the hardest adjustment was just figuring out how to handle each others' different ways of coping with emotions and stress. He's an introvert who gets a lot of anxiety and I'm more of an extrovert who can be pretty unmotivated. When he is stressed out he likes to do something productive, but when I'm having a bad day I just want to curl up and binge-watch terrible teen dramas. He likes to keep his emotions to himself for the most part or tell me how he is feeling but then go process them himself, while I like to talk about my emotions. When we first started living together I often took it personally when he didn't want to talk to me about it when he had a bad day and I was constantly asking if he was upset with me. It was annoying as hell and I eventually learned to stop. He had to learn to just listen to me when I'm talking about my feelings instead of try to offer "solutions" (it drives me nuts when he does that because it's like, dude, I'm an adult... I've obviously tried to figure out a solution but that doesn't change the fact that I have feelings I need to process RN!).

Pretty much none of the above?

A) is totally easy - if you can't share a space I don't know how that would work out in the long run...

B) We recently got a joint bank account and I'm in night school towards my accounting certificate so I am pretty good when it comes to balancing the budget.

C) We have the same mindset of "First come, first serve". So for example - nobody on either side of his family has mentioned Thanksgiving but my parents have requested us to attend Thanksgiving at the cottage for the Saturday. Well if his mom or his dad were to ask; we are busy on at least Saturday night and Sunday morning. This can get us in trouble with birthday's but if we plan something in advance we aren't going to be those people who say "I'll have to check what these other people are doing first".

Holidays for sure!

Does all of the above count as an answer? We've been living together for 5+ years and I'd say that holidays get me the most when it comes to difficulty. His family (in Ontario) is extremely small, therefore it's more noticeable when we're missing from events, while my family is a typical huge Italian one so we can come and go with ease.