Guestlist

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LOL It's the worst! I feel you

View quoted message Same here 🙋🏾‍♀️

View quoted message Yea you’re rightttt

View quoted message I love this suggestion! I've eliminated a few cousins and "family friends" this way because the idea of having them there doesn't make me happy.


I figure of you can't imagine yourself happy to see that person on your wedding day then don't invite them. Can you picture yourself willingly accepting a hug or a well wish from them? Would you want to join them on the dance floor? If not, cut 'em!

View quoted message Yes I would care because I’m a non confrontational people pleaser. Stuck between a rock and a hard place

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You're totally right, but i just feel like if i don't invite them it's gonna over.. I care and i don't care at the same time .. it's so confusing

You have time to adjust the list. I get it though....there were people on our list that we hummed and hawed about for a LONG time. Even went as far as printing their name on the invitation envelope, and THEN decided that we didn't need to include them.

The guest list is easily the hardest part of the wedding. There will come a time where you just have to Marie Kondo your guest list ("does this guest spark joy?")

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But do you really care about that person feeling ? Like after taking the decision not to invite that person, if she/he is angry or disappointed would you be care?

View quoted message I also am at the point where I just want to suck it up. Which goes against everything everyone tells me (online and in my person life)


Only have a few weeks to left to decide ... I am also going to be working with this person for a weekend in January and my shower is in Feb ( they were also on that guest list of only 40 people)

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Omg, i feel youu. I don't even know where to stand with this situation ugh! Thank you for your storyy , it's nice to know you're dealing with the same issue :/.. I Think at the end of the day i might just suck it up ...

I am struggling SO HARD with something super similar.
Fiancé expressed doubts about this person early on. I was offended he felt that way believing everything to be okay at the time.Sent them a save the date anyway.

Fast forward several months ( we are 5 months out now and sending invites shortly) and things are so rocky.
So many layers to this story it’s makes me sick and anxious. If everyone on our invited guest list came + vendors + plus ones we could still invite them and be under our max capacity .... so a part of me wants to just “suck it up” and not get into the drama and just disconnect after the wedding.
But at what cost? So there is a physical dollar sign attached to them but we aren’t worried about that. We know several other guests have issues with them, all the shadiness ... at this point it’s more of a “mental health” thing.
Anyway not sure what’s gonna go down here but I hope you feel a little better knowing your are not alone with this!

View quoted message Niceee, thanks for the list !

For FH and I, we made an overall list of everyone we know/related to and then we came up the criteria for inviting people.

Our criteria:

1) Do we see them any other time other than the Christmas holidays?

2) Do we hang out outside of work?

3) Do we care if we don't receive a call/text from that person on special occasions?

4) Would this person bring drama or negative emotions to the wedding?

We eliminated a lot of people from that first point, and anyone that asks about being invited I just have to tell them that our venue has a set number allowance, what I don't tell them is that we chose the venue on purpose for this reason.