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Colleen
Newbie July 2023 Alberta

Guest List Struggles

Colleen, on December 28, 2021 at 00:59 Posted in Plan a wedding 1 10

How do you go about deciding who to invite and who to exclude?


My fiancé and I made a rough draft of our guest list and I am overwhelmed by the 190 names that stared back at me. I was expecting to come out with roughly 150 invitees and then expecting some to decline but not that does not seem like the case and I just cannot see myself having a wedding that large or that expensive.


The majority of the list is family; grandparents, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, and first cousins. We did have to include a lot of second cousins and many of them are children and most of our extended family will be traveling to us for the wedding. Friends make up a small portion of our list and even going through those names; they are people who we see all the time or are very close family friends.

I feel stuck in not wanting to upset anyone or make anyone feel left out but I do not want to overwhelm ourselves with the size and expenses.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Giuseppina, on January 2, 2022 at 10:14
  • G
    Curious October 2022 Ontario
    Giuseppina ·
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    Hi Collen,

    I also agree with what others are saying as well. My Fiancé and I decided on our guest list by only including close friends and family. If we haven't spoken to someone in over a year then we didn't see the point in including them.

    We are also paying for our wedding 100% ourselves so that was also kept in mind when deciding who was to be invited to the wedding or not.

    Hope that helps!

    G

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  • Katrina
    Beginner June 2023 Ontario
    Katrina ·
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    Guest List Struggles 1

    This may be helpful!

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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    My fiance and I knew right away that we only wanted to close family and friends at our wedding. No extended family like 2ND and 3rd cousins. And family that we talk to on a regular basics. I've cut out 3 sets of family memyers that I hardly have a connection to and haven't seen in years. Why would I want certain people even if they're family at my own wedding if they don't even speak to me?!
    Just remember it's your wedding and you can choose who you want to invite. You are not obligated to invite every person you know family or not!
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  • Colleen
    Newbie July 2023 Alberta
    Colleen ·
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    I can definitely see how that would help as well! I wish we weren’t so social sometimes lol
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  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
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    Glad I could help! It definitely helped us cut down our list!
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  • Colleen
    Newbie July 2023 Alberta
    Colleen ·
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    That is another great way to cut down the guest list! Will definitely be going through and asking ourselves this question
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  • Colleen
    Newbie July 2023 Alberta
    Colleen ·
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    Thanks for the great advice!


    I will be reconsidering some guest plus ones as you are correct that they can sit with other family members or friends.
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  • Tamara
    Newbie December 2022 Ontario
    Tamara ·
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    There has been some great points made already. To add to those, my fiancé and I decided if we haven't talked to someone within the last year they are cut. This made it easy to bring down the total number of guests!

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  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
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    We went through our guest list and asked for every person "would we take this person out for a nice dinner and pay" anyone who we answered no to was cut off the guest list.
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  • Kelsey
    Frequent user August 2022 Alberta
    Kelsey ·
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    Hey Colleen,


    My fiance and I did the same thing. First thing we did was cut kids. I know that's not a choice everyone can make but it worked for us. Second, we cut some people's +1s. We looked at people who were friends and could sit together and had a conversation with them about it. Everyone was really understanding.
    Personally, we have been uninvited to 2 weddings in the past 2 years for people who have decided to downsize. We totally understood that there may be other people who they wanted more. From my experience, people will be more understanding than you think.
    Good luck with your planning!
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