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Hailey
Expert June 2022 British Columbia

Guest list stress/vent

Hailey, on August 15, 2021 at 10:44 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 12
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I’m mostly writing this for venting/just to talk it out with you all as I feel you all might understand more than friends who aren’t planning a wedding.

So my fiancé and I went to a friends engagement party last night and a week ago we sent out our save the dates, Most of the friends were invited/ got them in the mail however there was a few couples we had to cut. With my large family/ wanting 50 people we went with “who would we invite over to hang with that wasn’t for a party” and those couples unfortunately didn’t make it )about 5 couples in the group of friends )While we were at the event I kept getting glares from two specific people & wasn’t even greeted it was so bad I couldn’t even try to greet them myself ( my fiancé usually is greeted while I’m not . )
so I can only think she’s mad she didn’t get a STD while other friends did?Am I in the wrong for not inviting her/her SO ?
Am I wrong because she invited my fiancé to her wedding but he also asked over two months in advance if I could come as a plus one and was straight up ignored?
Also taking into consideration she has truly never been nice to me ever since I came into the friend group and makes me very uncomfortable to be around.. Is it okay we invite whoever We want without feeling alittle bad because it’s our wedding? I’m feeling the same way about some family that won’t be invited too... I have a 2 1/2 cousins that I would like 1 to come but not the other but don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings..
Thank you all for taking the time to read my little vent it truly means a lot 🥰

12 Comments

Latest activity by Megan, on August 26, 2021 at 11:55
  • Megan
    Frequent user July 2023 Ontario
    Megan ·
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    I have the same issue with my future brother in laws wife. She doesn't ever say a word to me, super rude. For no reason. She's done it to every one of my fiances past girlfriends. Sounds like this girl may be similar. It's tough, I don't have great advice as I'm still dealing with this issue myself. I've tried being super friendly, doesn't work. I've tried giving her the cold shoulder back, doesn't work. I've always wondered what the reason is.

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  • Hailey
    Expert June 2022 British Columbia
    Hailey ·
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    You would think she would understand but I don't think she does.. theres at least 5 couples in our friend group who we couldn't invite so its not just her and her SO.

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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    Since she is married she should understand how hard it is to decide who you can and can't invite. Any problem she has with your wedding is her own problem.
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  • Hailey
    Expert June 2022 British Columbia
    Hailey ·
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    I personally hate causing drama which I think that was the issue. But I’m very glad ever since I first met her (when I met the whole friend group) she was cold shoulder when the friend group is suppose to be welcoming! Idk if it’s a cause I’m theee years younger and a threat?? Who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️
    I just know she would judge how untraditional our wedding is and everything about it and I want people who love and care for us there. Also people I would invite to my house she’s not really someone I would invite lol I assume she was expecting an invite since she invited me fiancé to
    Hers?? I also know she found out from a friends girlfriend (as they are close) but whatever I don’t care it’s my wedding at the end of the day. I rather use the two spots for some family as I’ve cut so many of mine.
    I am definitely not giving her more head space! I really appreciate you taking the time to comment on this! It has made me feel so much better ☺️
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  • Hailey
    Expert June 2022 British Columbia
    Hailey ·
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    Yeah unfortunately still do this day I don’t know what I’ve ever done... always been nice sigh.
    You are totally right, I guess I’m just the type of person that cares for everyone and I felt bad because of that.. but I know I would t enjoy my day with her specifically there due to the fact she’s always been cold shoulder to me

    Thanks for responding it means a lot!
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  • Hailey
    Expert June 2022 British Columbia
    Hailey ·
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    My fiancé fits in due to the fact he went to highschool with them. The girl I’m specifically talking about just always was rude/cold shoulder is till don’t know why lol. Thank you for responding it makes me feel better I’m not the only one with stuff and others can relate to how I feel Smiley smile
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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    I'd be glad I didn't invite her. Would she have been rude and judging your wedding? Don't feel bad at all. There is no room for anyone who makes you uncomfortable at your own wedding. If she feels that way why would should even want to come? Don't give her any more space in your head. She doesn't deserve it.
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    If they were being rude to you before (ignoring your fiance about bringing a +1) and they're rude to you now, sounds like it more than justifies why you didn't invite them. And you clearly don't care for these people anyway so who cares if they're acting childish. People will see them for who they are.

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    You're not at fault for not sending the STD to the couple if you don't feel they are not as friendly to you. Your fiancé seems to fit in with them better for some odd reason being a friend. He did the right thing to ask about bringing to show he cares. The guest list is you two to invite whom you want and not others that may not be close to you or giving attitude/drama for no reason. Our wedding was small too of 72 and my family is big. They live within Ontario and the states, though the overseas family was hard to count to invite due to our budget. I would have had over 100 on my side. My mom seemed concerned to whom I had invited to inquire and was okay with the main family attending. Turn your cheek the other way when approached by the couple if they don't feel they have any respect for you.
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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    Of course hun anytime Smiley heart It's a little crazy to me on how some people act when it comes to weddings

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  • Hailey
    Expert June 2022 British Columbia
    Hailey ·
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    The friend group has been friends all through high school so it makes sense my fiance was invited (they also had a larger wedding)

    I guess I didn't expect to start drama and it threw me off a bit but at the same time I want people who like me and care for me at my wedding not people who aren't welcoming, will judge (I know she will) and just make me uncomfortable... I kind of realized after such a long time not seeing everyone last night showed me who the real friends are to both my Fiance & I. I guess it also blows my mind after so long there was 4 people who didn't say a word to me or my fiance like we did them wrong by no invite? it somewhat reminds me of highschool drama Smiley xd

    yeah for my dads side there is 5 siblings and I'm only inviting 2 one I'm close too and the other is representing the rest of the family kind of deal. Ive invited my moms brother/wife and my cousin and her SO but I want to invite the 1/2 cousin as I have a better connection with her and the other one has kids/SO ive never met lol

    Thank you for taking the time to respond and help me feel a bit better about the decision on who we invited and didn't Smiley heart Smiley smile

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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    My fiance and I have had this happen to us as well. People just assume that just because you were invited to their wedding, that they're going to be invited to yours . In all honesty, it's your wedding and you can invite whoever you want and if you shouldn't feel bad for only inviting some friends and not others. For myself, my mother has 5 siblings and I'm only inviting 2 of them to my wedding. The other 3 I don't have a relationship with and or haven't spoken to them in years. You shouldn't have to invite people just because they're family. You wanna be able to invite people that have been apart of your life!

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