Guest List- Should I feel bad?

Your FH knows his limits and whom he would want to be there present as big of a family he has. I can relate due to the fact that my moms side is really big and my dads (not the best one that his sisters, nephews and some nieces have the relationship) side too. The list was directly towards the main family and not extended family of my sister (one married to the big family). That family is reaching close to 100 soon with each cousin getting married each year and kids growing up together.

In whole, i would have had close to 200 people from my side attending if the budget would have allowed it; however, it was kept small. His side was 7 of 14 family members showed up with our friends too. Our total at the end was 72 guests count. Don't feel bad because of what is said or done, just know this is right for you both and what can be put towards your budget.

View quoted message Yes for sure! Thankfully my family is so small there isnt much issues on my end.

I am worried that I invited my boss and not my coworker but my boss is the only person I invited because my fiance and I both respect him a lot. But my coworker has caused issues and drama for us, despite us trying to keep things civil I just dont think it is something I can have at my wedding

Honestly dont feel bad. i wouldnt tell them anymore details other than we are keeping the guest list small. i have the samething my dad has 11 brothers and sisters they have spouses and kids and some of their kids have kids. i am not inviting all these people that ive met twice or three times in my life. just because they have a title of cousin or auntie or uncle does not make them an automatic guest at my wedding. thats my opinion!

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That's great, best of luck to you!

View quoted message We wanted to make sure that everyone could arrange travel and also so that anyone on the second round will be able to book a hotel under our block reservation.

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I see, if they press, just let them know of your space limits. If they are able to be included in the second round of invites, great! You're getting the first round out early so if you know you can send out the 2nd round in December, they still have time to arrange travel (if needed).

View quoted message Thanks! We are definitely doing two rounds, the first round already went out as a lot of people are going to have to travel and expecting a lot of no's. As for his family we did brush it off and honestly that visit was the first time Andrew had contact in person ot via social media in YEARS. They mentioned going to Andrew's parents back east but they haven't mentioned anything to us. With the aunt,cousins and their entire adoptive family that's another 10 people to add that we just can't do right now.

Definitely don't feel bad for not being able to include everyone!

I would try to not mention the wedding around the family that isn't invited. Anytime someone says "see you at the wedding" or anything like that just brush it off until invitations go out. Once you get closer to the wedding and (if) they are wondering where their invitation is, gently tell them they weren't invited due to space (totally fine if this is not completely the truth).

I definitely wouldn't invite the coworker who's caused you drama since day 1. You don't need that negative energy at your wedding. Again if they ask, tell them you didn't have space to include them. I have a ex-friend who tried early on to weasel her way into my bridal party/wedding. She caused a lot of drama for me in the past and I was not having that at my wedding.

You could have a b-list since you're likely to receive 10-20% no RSVPs so once you have a certain number of "no's" you could send out a second wave.

Don't feel bad - especially about the coworker who likes to cause problems. One of my coworkers just got married and invited only a couple of others she's really close with - I had no hard feelings at all. And we actually get along! So I can't imagine someone who's gone out of their way to make your work life miserable would ever presume to be invited, regardless of whether or not you've invited other people you work with.

I would not feel bad at all- My fiance has a large family and we cut it off at 100 people. We didn't invite any of our coworkers just his boss as again we had high respect for him. The people who haven't seen him in years shouldn't expect to be invited either..I get family but if they haven't made the effort before to come would they really spend all the money for a wedding of someone not close with. I wouldn't worry and don't feel bad! I know you might have some guilt but try and brush it off

Don't feel bad at all. It is your day, if you do not want someone there, then you do not need to invite them.

We limited to family that we see, and if people asked we just told them we wanted it to be small and didn't have room.

As for the coworkers, again, you invite who you want. I wouldn't feel bad at all. If you have worked with them for a long time and see them outside of work, then maybe I would invite them.

View quoted message I dont know if he is expecting one but he will certainly talk since my boss got one. He thinks that he has covered his tracks with the stuff he has done but he hasn't, he is different to my face than he actually is. He is very dramatic and deceitful in my experience and I just dont want to worry about what someone will say about me on my wedding day. But I hate confrontation since we are forced to work so closely. Guess we will see what happens.

Thanks!

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If they've been so difficult, I'm surprised they're expecting an invitation. I think if they dare to confront you about it, you should just be honest about how you're not friends outside of work and how they don't have a place at your wedding.

View quoted message I am more so concerned about the fact that we have invited my boss but not my coworker. But honestly my coworker is someone that has actively tried to cause problems for both of us at work

It's tough to say "no" to people when it comes to an invite to the wedding. I dealt with quite a lot of that and had to be honest with people that it was for a variety of reasons (not enough space and/or just inviting close friends/family). I think your husband needs to be the one to tell his aunts and uncles to pass along the word that the cousins are not invited and it's nothing personal.

Good luck!

View quoted message Thanks! And honestly my boss already has an invite, as a friend of mine and my fiance it seemed right to be honest. He has had our back in a lot of the false accusations and drama that my other coworker and his wife have made in the past two years. I would genuinely be worried if I invited him to the wedding of the gossip and drama it would cause. Not like he is a coworker I get along with and feel bad inviting one or the other, he had proven to be cause a lot of grief in my life.

Nope! Don't feel bad!!!

It is up to your FH to shut down his family if he didn't put them on his list and if he avoids it then so should you.

As for the coworkers - I work with like 90 others at my office so it's not possible to invite them all so I'm just inviting those who I talk with on a daily basis. 2nd round of invites might show room but I still wouldn't invite the coworkers... that's when you can extend the invites to the Aunt and cousins who are assuming they have a place at the wedding.