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Alyssa
Curious April 2021 Manitoba

Guest list - numbers question?

Alyssa, on October 1, 2020 at 17:56 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 15
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I’m making my guest list and I know that there are some people who can’t come (my grandparents). So even though I am inviting them, I’m not counting them in my numbers because I know they won’t be able to make it. It got my wondering if I should be inviting more people than the number I am planning for in case others don’t show up or can’t come for whatever reason? If yes, how many? My fiancé and I are wanting to have roughly 30 people.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on October 13, 2020 at 12:47
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    The original guest list can be saved for your anniversary celebration or wedding renewal. Cutting down the list to the minimal for this year would help to have just family attending. You can have a proper celebration once all this clears up and have guests present in the next few years.

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  • Bethany
    Curious May 2021 Nova Scotia
    Bethany ·
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    No Problem!

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  • Cara
    Beginner September 2021 Alberta
    Cara ·
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    I love that messaging!! Thank you for sharing this
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  • R
    Beginner September 2021 Ontario
    Rachael ·
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    Considering right now (in ON at least) I'd stick to top 50 ppl. Make them your "A" list guests. Then say 3- 4 months before your wedding if things return to pre-covid invite the remaining guests from your "B" & "C" lists. Plus you can always add to your catering & decor numbers a month in advance, harder to get money back for decreased guests list. Plus it may save you the heart ache of disinviting guests in the future. For now, I'm tell people on my "A" list to basically save the date now (September 2021), then once we have a better idea on things (June) I can make a decision then to invite more people, because yes, not everyone will be able to come no matter what.
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  • Celine
    Frequent user October 2022 Quebec
    Celine ·
    • Dispute

    Definitely agree with the tiered invites. We originally wanted 50-70 people at our wedding, but now that we have made a first pass at a guest list we are at 150 including children. We plan to do tiered invites to keep our final guest count to 100.

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  • Stefanie
    Devoted August 2021 Saskatchewan
    Stefanie ·
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    Definitely do tiered. When we sent out our invites (we are now postponed and will be sending new ones) Extended family who we expected to decline ended up being our first response with an attending!!!
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  • Bethany
    Curious May 2021 Nova Scotia
    Bethany ·
    • Dispute

    Our guest list is at about 115 right now, but we have big questions marks with our guest list. Because all my extended family live out West, with current restrictions they would have to come, self isolate for 14 days before seeing any of us and coming to the wedding. This makes judging numbers tricky.

    Because I feel like a lot of our guest list may be hesitant to come or not be able to, we have added the following message on the back of our save the dates:

    "We are so excited to share our special day with you! However, we know that Covid-19 has affected all of us to varying degrees. If for whatever reason you are unable to attend our wedding, please know that we understand, and love you all the same!"

    In my head, this gives people the "out" or "permission" to say no without feeling guilty, which may help keep our numbers down too. It also opens up a conversation where you may be able to get some soft yes's/no's before even sending your RSVPS.

    I also like the idea of a tiered invite list others have already mentioned.

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  • Brianna
    Curious September 2020 Ontario
    Brianna ·
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    Be careful with this, especially during Covid. We got married 3 weeks ago outdoors and were only able to have a max of 100 people. We invited 110 (our venue suggested it as they figured people would say no) we have 108 RSVP yes! we had to call 4 couples and unintive them. It was horrible!!!! (we then had 6 people not show at the wedding, which is another story altogether).

    Maybe invite 1 or 2 extra, or send out your invites, wait for "no" replies, then send out another round.

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  • Tay
    Frequent user July 2021 Ontario
    Tay ·
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    Oh sorry to hear that! Totally understandable
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  • Alyssa
    Curious April 2021 Manitoba
    Alyssa ·
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    Basically. I know they would be happy to get an invite so I’m going to send one. My grandpa is terminally ill and my grandma is very old and hasn’t been able to travel in the last few years. She’s also sick too.
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  • Alyssa
    Curious April 2021 Manitoba
    Alyssa ·
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    Just for a keepsake! They are both very sick unfortunately.
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Are you inviting your grandparents for the sake of formality? Have you both already discussed how they won't be there? If not, they might have every intention to attend and show up despite the risks to their health.

    Personally if there are guests I didn't want attend even for the sake of safety, I wouldn't send them an invite.

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    You could make 2 lists, and if people on list 1 say no you can then invite that many people from list 2.


    You'll need to send the list 1 invites a few weeks earlier with an RSVP deadline that gives you time to send list 2 without a scramble for those people to reply.
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  • Tay
    Frequent user July 2021 Ontario
    Tay ·
    • Dispute
    I agree with Arexy you wouldn't want to end up with more people then you actually planned for! I would count every guest you plan to send an invite to and then determine after declines if you want to send out to anymore people. Out of curiosity if you know your grandparents aren't coming, what is the purpose of sending them an invite. Is it just for a keepsake? I'm just curious what if they do actually attend.
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  • Arexy
    Devoted October 2020 Ontario
    Arexy ·
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    No do not do this! Imagine someone you thought wouldn’t come actually accepts the invite? What you should do is tiered invites. Send out your first round to must have guests. If you get people that decline, you then begin sending out a second round based on how many available spots you have left
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