Guest List - Help!

Talking about guests and kids.

1 suggestion if given is talk to your coordinator inquiring about kids meals since they will not eat the same food as what your getting everyone else.

I had thought about this too and did make a change to give the kids chicken fingers and fries and ice cream as dessert. Consider your options and see what can be done to accomoddate your young guests.

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This is a great idea, we don’t know what to do ourselves yet about the kids. We obviously want our niece and nephews and my sister but as far as extended family goes there’s only a hand full out of the bunch we feel would appreciate and enjoy being there. The others would just be on their iPads or gadgets and not eat what we serve them. We don’t want the parents to be distracted either, but we love them and they can be fun at the party too!

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What I great idea, I’m in a very similar situation and that solution never crossed my mind!

Thank you everyone! It sounds like our plan is to invite the families with kids, but not tell them kids allowed, and kind of see what happens -- ideally the kids won't all come, but if it means a parent is panicking about child care falling thru and not being able to come because of that, I'm totally happy to have the kiddos. Also they look super cute in wedding photos.

I had a lunch thing with the girls from work and it was definitely a good reminder of how nice it would be to have them, so I'm going to prioritize them and my mum's bestie are basically another aunt and uncle

I figure a couple of people may decline, but most are already planning to come because I connected with them in person/skype/etc.

First of all it's really up to you. I will have 2 because their my granddaughters twin girls their my ring bearers, I'm sure that many of the girls on here have said that many others maybe not even come to the wedding, I have a few already myself. After a time I think it's 9:00 pm their dad is taking them back to my place to sleep. I think cut out the kids, .

Cut the kids and keep the co-workers and moms BFF! I can't tell you about any weddings I went to as a child because my parents never brought us! It gave them the oppourtunity to enjoy a night out together and we had fun with a babysitter. Win-win.

You have to remember that not everyone will come that is invited. not everyone may bring the kids.

i would look at how greatly it affects the budget. if its something you can manage financially. 15 people wouldn't break me. but that's personal opinion.

that's what we did with plus ones. only about 10 people weren't already in relationships. so we figure 10 people won't make or break us. (and those people may not bring a plus one)

If I were you, I would cut the 15 kids.

I ended up cutting 25 of cousin's kids who are all very young (under 15) and probably won't have a lot of fun at a wedding/miss being there. They're young and will have their adulthood to attend weddings of people they care about. Me and/or my FH have either never met or met our cousin's kids at such a young age they don't know who we are lol.

We will still have some kids, our niece and nephew that are in the wedding party and I have 3 cousins who aren't 18 yet but are still invited. (They're 16 and 17 at the time of the wedding).

I can tell you when I had the list made, numbers were higher and eventually had to get realistic when looking at the cost per person for the venue itself.

Your right about being under average which is great. Consider how many people you want actual vs. wanting.

The list started at 107 and the elimination went down to 75 that was the maximum required to fill for the day. We had all family including 5 kids and only close friends to celebrate with us (one being invited spite of my word given not speaking to her). Its your choice to have kids and families or as others have done KIDS FREE EVENING.

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So this is my situation. We have a maximum head count of 250 right? But we made up a list of all the people we would ideally want to invite to share in our big day and that added up to just over 300... so...

We will be going over the list and deciding who are MUST HAVES aka family and the closest friends and send them the A-list or round one of invitations at our 5 month mark (May 5th). We will have an RSVP deadline being 1 month later at our 4 month mark (June 5th). Of course give it a week for the stragglers... Then based off of how many people said they can't make it - send out the next batch (B-list) of invites with a new RSVP date of a month from then (July 15th?).

Of course, my wedding is in October, but the wedding shower invites will be in the same envelope so I want to make sure that people get the invitations before the shower which will most likely take place in either end of August or early September.

If after both batch's of invites I still have room, I will be asking people in person with an invitation so it's more personal because it's a bit more obvious that they weren't asked right off the bat.

View quoted message Don’t mean to steal your thread - talk to me about A list and B list / I’m having guest list struggles too

I totally get what you're saying. I would also struggle with this.

Are you close with your mom's friend as well or is she just coming for your mom's sake? Have you discussed this with your mom? Would it break her heart if her friend wasn't there?

On the other hand, do you think you'll get backlash from people if you say no kids? Will some people not come because of it?
I'm not saying one way or the other, just giving you some things to think about.


Good luck!

Keep in mind that not everyone you invite will be able to attend!

Congratulations on your engagement! Welcome to Wedding Wire!

I would say no to the children.

We are also not having any children under 18 unless they are our immediate nieces and nephews.
It is a small cost not having them as they are not full price, but that would add up as we have a lot of kids on both sides of the family.
So we cut it to just family we see regularly and who would want to be there!

I have a maximum amount of people allowed at our venue which is 250... and I still have an A-list and B-list for invites. AAAAAANNNNDD I am not inviting anybody under 18.

So IMO I would say no to the children - they won't care if they are there or not unless they know you really well, but your mom's friend and your coworkers should be there if you truly want them there.

Congrats on the engagement though and welcome to the wedding wire community!!