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Victoria
Beginner September 2018 Ontario

Guest list etiquette

Victoria, on October 15, 2017 at 21:55 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 6
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Hi All!
So I am the coach of under 13 girls travel basketball team and I have been with them for a few years now. Both the girls and parents are very close to my fiancé and I and are always asking how my fiancé is and how the planning is going, even urging him to propose over the past few years! I would like to invite the team to the wedding (perhaps flower girls if I can convince the FH!) with a select few parents that we are very close to ( if we invite every parent it's going to be like 30+ people!).
I've read a lot of wedding guest etiquette articles saying if you invite some kids you have to be consistent for all guests. So I guess the girls being U13 are considered "kids". But i would really prefer the other guests don't bring their young children as we don't know their kids. Is this a total guest list faux pas? Or does it make sense to be an exception?
Thoughts?? Thanks in advance!

6 Comments

Latest activity by Daphne, on October 16, 2017 at 11:48
  • Daphne
    Super July 2017 British Columbia
    Daphne ·
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    This is a tough one because no matter what you decide, someone won't be happy about it, BUT at the end of the day: it's your day - you do what you want!

    If you want to invite all the girls on the team and only a few parents, you may want to check with those parents if they are okay with being the chaperones to the girls whose parents are not invited, so that you, and their parents, don't have to worry about them.

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  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    We didn't want kids at our wedding either but our 2 eldest nephews were our ring bearers and therefore their siblings came along too as there was no one left at home to watch them and our wedding was out of town. We told everyone else that we weren't allowing kids and no one seemed to have a problem with that.

    I agree with Sonja in that I would be more concerned about the parents creating drama if they are not part of the "select few". I would assume that not every kid's parent(s) would be invited therefore you are putting the responsibility of looking after these kids on others. It feels more like you are asking for chaperones on a team outing than inviting people to attend your wedding.

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  • Alexa
    Devoted July 2018 Alberta
    Alexa ·
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    I would invite all of them to the wedding ceremony if your venue allows it and invite all of them to "dance" portion to the reception that way no one feels left out?

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  • Ashley
    Frequent user September 2018 Quebec
    Ashley ·
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    Some venues kids are considered 12 and under, and you'd still pay an adult price for a 13 year old. Unless you see these parents and kids socially out side of the team, I wouldn't invite any to the wedding. Inviting only a selected few prents could start an issue or make unnecessary drama
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  • Sonja
    VIP September 2017 Ontario
    Sonja ·
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    I think I would be more concerned about the "few select parents"you would like to invite. If you are inviting the kids, won't the parents feel snubbed if you only choose a few to attend?

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  • Maegan
    Super July 2018 British Columbia
    Maegan ·
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    Thats super cool that you coach and are close with them all! Im sure it would mean a lot to the team to be invited Smiley smile Honestly, i do not know if it is a faux pas or not... But i would say no kids and make an exception for the team if thats what you want. I do not think by inviting a team you coach it requires you to invite all the children of guests that you dont know.
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