Guest List. Did you have to say sorry?

Me and my FH both said sorry! We got in a fight on Monday night about the guest list. We had talked and said no plus ones for the guests unless they have been together a very long time and if we had met them and the wedding party! So I had told my friends and family we just can't afford to feed everyone and that we can't extend a plus one. Everybody was understanding.... my fiances sister, her and I no longer talk and with good reason. She is one of the most terrible human beings I have ever met, and her one brother agrees. We have her on the guest list, as I would never exclude her simply because I dislike her. However I said her bf is not welcome at my wedding. We fought about it because I have never met him officially... i have seen him at family gatherings and him and cassie just sit and whisper like we are in highschool or something, and he has never once tried to talk to me! I told my FH that for these reasons and because of the limitation we gave ourselves he wont be welcome. He keeps telling me he will be there and how he doesn't like one of my cousins so my cousin isn't welcome and then we fought about how those are two different things since this bf isn't family.... nobody in the family likes him, and they break up every other week. My cousin has a gf and they have a baby together and I didn't extend a plus one to him! So its an ongoing issue! We both said sorry as it got heated but I don't wish to have people at my wedding whom I could care less about, and having his sister there is already going to be uncomfortable enough for me!

30!!!! Holy geez!!!! ya my fingers are crossed for you!

Yeah I hope not! On the opposite end, we did have a couple RSVP that they were coming and then heard through my fiance's brother that the husband is out of the country so he wouldn't be coming. We reached out to confirm and he was like "Yeah I'm not coming but my wife will be there." (No apology or a "hey I meant to tell you.") And then we heard from his wife and she was like "I just wanted to check before I make arrangements because I heard it was a no-kids wedding." And my fiance confirmed that yes we are having an adults only wedding. We didn't hear from her for a few weeks so we reached out to her again and then she just responded saying "We won't be coming." Thanks for the heads up! I'm hoping that we don't have any no shows since it's a destination wedding but one of my friends had 30 no shows for her local wedding!

It is funny- traditional etiquette is a "dying art" and so many things are ignored or overlooked! It can be overwhelming at times. It is good to know that- incase we run into a similar issue!

Edit: spelling

Yup ultimately people do whatever they want! SInce getting engaged, I've learned a lot of things about wedding etiquette that I definitely did not know before. (Like how only the people that are listed on the invitation are the ones invited and that even if you aren't able to attend a wedding, you're still expected to send a gift.) We had a couple of our friends that we hadn't planned on inviting their significant others (they weren't with anyone when we made the guest list 2 years ago) but we figured they might assume that they were automatically invited so we decided to address it only to our friends and then see how they RSVP'd. They did end up including their SOs in their RSVP and it worked out with their tables having space for them so we just let it slide. But if we hadn't ended up with space, we would have addressed it with them and could have used the invitation as an excuse.

Geez that is rude and you did handle that well! It's one thing to ask once but 4 times is ridiculous!!! You'll have to come back and tell us if they end up just bringing her anyways (hopefully not!)

I'm really hoping that when invites go out that we don't run into this issue. Some people just don't get how weddings work

I am impressed at how calmly and tackfully you handled that...I hate to say it sounds a bit rude of your mom's friend. I usually expect people to be more understanding of guestlist limitations.

Two years ago my friends were married and made it very clear "no children". She went as far as witting "respectfully an adult occasion" on the invites which I thought was unnecessary but...her cousin still showed up with two kids in tow!

My fiance and I have been on the same page for the guest list but we have had to say sorry to some of our guests that wanted to bring plus ones! We started out with 140 guests and got down to 120 by the time we sent out invitations. Unfortunately our ceremony space can only hold 100 max (and it would be a tight squeeze) so we were hoping to get down to around that. After all was said and done we're down to 75 guests which is much less than what we were expecting. I've come to terms with it though and it just means that it will be more intimate and we'll get to spend more time with the guests that are there!

We invited one family who is friends with my mom. It's her friend who she's known since elementary school, her husband and their two sons. When my mom gave her the invitation she was like "oh one of my sons isn't going to be able to make it so my other son can just bring his gf instead." Luckily my mom said something and was like "um no that's not how this works. There is a waiting list so if they end up having room maybe she can come." We ended up seeing my mom's friend a week later and she said the same thing and I reiterated what my mom said. When she mailed in her RSVP, she wrote on the back of it AGAIN about bringing her son's gf. While we would have room at the ceremony now, there isn't room at their table for the reception and we would have to rearrange the seating chart so we decided not to allow any additional plus ones. She facebook messaged me last week to see if he can bring the gf. (Clearly we're super busy as it's 2 weeks away and if you haven't heard from us, she can't come.) My sister has a bf that she's been with for almost a year and she's a bridesmaid and she's not even bringing a plus one so we didn't think it was fair to let others bring people we don't even know. They can survive for one night without them! (And we handled it tactfully of course.)

Haha yup!! "Sorry but if you haven't even met them they shouldn't be invited" was said repeatedly FH