Guest List Cuts Needed

Talk to her in a non confrontational way. Explain why you would like to cut the guest list. She should understand that it’s your wedding even if she’s paying for it. Meet in the middle. Everyone has to make compromises during wedding planning.

I would have him talk to his mom! And it is also your day, if you guys don’t want kids or don’t want insignificant others, then that’s how it should be!
Keep in mind like the other ladies have said there will be some RSVPs that get declined so that would drop your numbers as well!
We had some issues with the guest list and we just stuck to what we wanted and of course there were some comments but it’s our day!!

You two want to have the final say and know who is invited being people that you talk or see often. Its nice your FMIL is offering to pay though she feels her friends can be invited to a limit. Considering the option of plus 1s and no kids is your both choices and to stick by it without having anyone else telling you that it should be done.

Seeing how you feel about the guest list, maybe it should be a 50/50 payment for your and FH/FMIL to share the expenses so that she is allowed a certain number of friends she can cover and you have everyone else you want without plus ones. It can work out better this way and numbers can cut down to what you feel is needed.

I agree with Tori on this one! 2 is a huge thing for me and my mom tried to do the same- she is helping with a portion of the meal but like 50percent. We want it to still be intimate with people we care about and are close with not everyone my parents now and I see once a decade. We did invite extras above our 100 mark about 20 couldn't come and brings us to just under and we are still waiting for few back- I also forgot about the number of vendors I would have as well would count into my max -.-

I would get FH be the one to discuss it with her since it’s his mom. If she already knows it’s a lot then she should technically be willing to let go of a few people. Your FH can be gentle and light-hearted about it. Just let her know you can’t do kids at all because then you have to invite everyone’s kids not just her friends’ kids. Let her know you’re trying to save her money as well. Good luck. I know it can be so tricky with in law stuff

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That's very helpful thank you! You made some great points about Kids that I'll have to look into and bring to her attention. I think you're right and I just need to have a chat with my FH about needing to stand 'our' ground and that he has nothing to fear by doing so. I've heard that about 15% RSVP NO so it may be okay to invite on the higher end of 200 as our max. capacity is 220.

What I would do:

1. Get your FH to "man-up" as it is HIS Mom. (If it was your Mom I would tell you to "man-up" too.) He is loved by his Mom no matter what so IMO he would be the best person for the job.

2. NO KIDS! Try reasoning with her that the kids won't even remember the wedding or understand how much money is being put towards it. Plus a lot of the time the kids meals are overpriced chicken fingers and even though they are kids you have to pay a corkage fee on them.

3. I get her adding friends she doesn't see or talk to very often - I would just say that if they are single, then they can mingle.

4. Keep in mind that there will probably be some no's. We had a guest list of 300 but max. capacity of 250 so we sent out a first batch of invites, then when we got the RSVP's back we were able to invite the second batch!