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Shannon
Beginner October 2019 Quebec

Guest List Backlash

Shannon, on October 24, 2018 at 14:43

Posted in Plan a wedding 37

Hi there! Has anyone had to deal with backlash from their family regarding your guest list? My future hubby and I just really want a low key and intimate wedding. Neither of us enjoys the attention and we've decided that regardless of what we decide to do for the reception, the ceremony will be...
Hi there!
Has anyone had to deal with backlash from their family regarding your guest list? My future hubby and I just really want a low key and intimate wedding. Neither of us enjoys the attention and we've decided that regardless of what we decide to do for the reception, the ceremony will be close-knit with those we're closest to. I personally could care less about a party and would prefer to not have to invite and pay for 150 people (I'm cheap and would rather spend money on a badass honeymoon). FH has agreed that we should keep the reception intimate as well.

I'm expecting a lot of backlash from our families if our guest list is kept to 30 - 35 ppl which would be our parents, siblings, grandparents and bridal party. Has anyone had to deal with the same and how did you approach the issue? Help a girl out, I'm stressin'!

37 Comments

  • Shannon
    Beginner October 2019 Quebec
    Shannon ·
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    It's definitely frustrating when you feel the need to explain yourselves for the decisions made for YOUR wedding day. I'm hoping that I can eventually (and soon because it's hella stressful) learn to just stick to what we want and not care what anyone has to say about it. Getting there...

    Wishing you a good outcome with your brunch!
    • Reply
  • Dar
    Frequent user December 2018
    Dar ·
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    We’re dealing with this from FH’s side right now and expect more in future. We’re doing an ‘elopement with company’ otherwise known as an unannounced wedding with parents and siblings only. The responses have basically been us firmly stating that this is how we want to celebrate our wedding and when it comes down to it, emphasizing that we and only we are paying the bills so the guest list is our decision. So far no one has cared enough about it to foot the bill Smiley laugh
    • Reply
  • Shannon
    Beginner October 2019 Quebec
    Shannon ·
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    View quoted message
    "Not a family reunion" that is the best reply and I am definitely using that! I'm expecting backlash from my grandparents mostly as I'm not close to my dad's side of the family and I already "upset them" by not inviting the whole family of 30+ to my engagement party. The engagement party was very small with only 25 invited and it was in my mom's backyard. I'm expecting the same if we choose to not invite all sides of the family. We're paying for the whole wedding and it will end up costing us our first born child if we invite our huge families 😂

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  • Amanda
    Super June 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute

    I haven't yet, but am anticipating some as well.
    We want an intimate wedding, it is at a restaurant, and quite honestly, I have about 8 cousins that I haven't seen in years and I would much rather have friends I see every day be a part of it.
    Our plan is to have a bridal shower type brunch and invite all family and basically find a tasteful way to attach a note saying - we are having a small, intimate wedding day however, we still wanted to celebrate with you so please come and have brunch/champagne etc. Kind of a pre wedding celebration to at least extend the invitation out to everyone and hoping they understand. Bottom line - it's about you and no one else. People should be happy for you..
    Our idea may not sit well with everyone but we're hoping.

    • Reply
  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute

    I'm currently receiving some backlash about the guest list and it's not even an official list yet!! lol But ya, me and my FH decided nobody under the age of 18 will be invited (we not only don't have enough physical room at the venue but we don't want to worry about underage drinking). So far we have received complaints from both my side as well as his with aunts even saying "well I'm not apart of that right? I can bring my kids?" like... no? sorry! We just don't have room and would prefer the people who attend to actually remember our wedding...

    My two go-to wording to talk to people about it is: "Well it's a good thing it's not your wedding, it's ours" and "It's our wedding, not a family reunion".

    These usually get people to get off of our case. Don't worry! As long as you are happy with what you are doing that is all you will remember after your big day. You have to look back on your wedding day and honeymoon but they won't be.

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