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Monica
Devoted June 2019 Ontario

Guest List

Monica, on September 18, 2018 at 14:24 Posted in Wedding reception 0 15
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I asked my fiance’s sister (future sister-in-law) for help with finalizing their side of the family’s guest list. She mentioned if we would be inviting her husbands parents, brother + wife (+1 kid), and sister (+ 2 kids).

I thought this was completely silly and was kind of taken back as to why I would even consider inviting them? I mean, I would obviously be inviting my fiancé’s sister and her husband along with their 3 children, BUT to invite the husband’s side of the family?!

Am I the only one who seems to think this is unnecessary... or should I reconsider?? To be honest, I’m not particularly fond of these people - even when I have to see them once a year for holiday season, I’m super peeved by their presence... it’s my wedding and I can invite anyone I want, but is this offending anyone?

My fiancé does not want to invite them either - he is not a fan of that side of the family...

15 Comments

Latest activity by Monica, on September 19, 2018 at 18:32
  • Monica
    Devoted June 2019 Ontario
    Monica ·
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    Nope! Groom’s mom isn’t overly close with them - they’ll see each other on the odd weekends here and there, but not because it was planned. Just so happens future mother in law lives with future sister in law for the time being, and so her in laws visit on the weekends.
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  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
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    Usually no the in laws of your future sister in law wouldn’t be invited. But is the grooms family really close with them? Are the grooms parents friends with them? If they are close with the grooms parents then it would be reasonable. But if you guys are paying for the entire wedding then it’s up to you.
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  • Melissa
    Frequent user September 2018 Quebec
    Melissa ·
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    No, you don’t have to invite them. But I have heard of this before, I think it may be an older tradition/etiquette thing.
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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Admin October 2016 North Carolina
    Lynnie ·
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    Totally unnecessary... that's her family, not yours!! Smiley winking

    To gracefully negotiate the conversation I'd say something about "wishing you could invite everyone" but do to the budget or venue capacity you'll need to stick to "my immediate family"!

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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
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    You are under no obligation to invite them. They have no relation to you. If neither of you want them there, just let her know they aren’t close enough to you to invite and you have to limit the guest list somewhere.

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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    Ugh, I am literally in the same situation as you are where we are obligated to invite FH's brother-in-laws family. It's honestly odd and will end up being costly. FH and I are honestly unimpressed that this is expected by us, but unfortunately it's something that we have to do.

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I wouldn't invite the husbands side, especially since you are not close with them!

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    No to inviting them since your relationship isn't solid and good. She should know better than asking you instead of her brother.
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  • Monica
    Devoted June 2019 Ontario
    Monica ·
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    Haha love all your replies!! Thanks ladies for all your input - I kind of threw a fit when my fiancé’s side of the family mentioned it more than once, so I thought I was the crazy one being totally unreasonable.. but thank you for all of your confirmations
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  • Michelle
    Expert April 2019 Alberta
    Michelle ·
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    They really do not need to be invited, especially if neither you or your fiance like them. Put your foot down.

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  • Jennifer
    Super July 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
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    I personally wouldn't invite them either. unless he had some sort of relationship with them. however. I have seen it happen at weddings LOTS of times because the parents wanted them invited.

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  • Geneviève
    VIP September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
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    I agree with you, that's does seem like an odd request! If neither of you want them there, then it seems like an easy answer.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    No invite for them. In what world would they ever get an invitation? IMO that is absurd unless you see them multiple times a year and even at that there is no relation to them.

    Keep it at just her and her hubby and kids.

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  • Maya
    Expert January 2019 Alberta
    Maya ·
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    Absolutely not offensive at all. I mean that’s his sisters inlaws family and they have no relation to you and your husband. Especially if their attendance would cause friction then it’s alright to leave them out.
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  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    If you and your FH are not a fan of them then dont invite them! Just mention to her that you would like to keep to more immediate family and friends due to guest list limitations! I'm sure itll be fine! I think it's a bit bizarre for her to ask to begin with....
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