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Maya
Expert January 2019 Alberta

Groomsmen trouble

Maya, on September 19, 2018 at 07:22 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 11
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Well the situation isn’t looking good right now. I’m not looking for advice on what to do as I’ve decided what I’m going to do. I just want to get it out.

So the person who was essentially best man in title only said he was backing out because my fiancé didn’t go out for drinks with him last Friday. My fiancé had told him he wouldn’t be able to but that he could hang out during the day on the weekend. This wasn’t what he wanted so he said I’m out. Things with this friend have been very rocky as he refused to meet me. It pains me a lot because I feel sad for my fiancé that his friend won’t even communicate and comes off as it’s my way or the highway. Part of me wants to call his friend out on playing the victim, but I’ve decided to let my fiancé handle it.

So groomsmen #2 who is also friends with the person above has been ignoring calls, texts, and Facebook messages. My fiancé had to message his wife to see if he got a new phone and that was the only time he responded and said that last weekend would work to go suit shopping. So last weekend came and went and no response. I decided to send him a message just checking in on Facebook and I saw he read them right away, but no response. I have decided if he isn’t responding to me by the end of the day that I’ll message his wife. I really hate the feeling of my fiancé getting hurt by this and I also hate when people don’t communicate.

11 Comments

Latest activity by Bianca, on September 21, 2018 at 11:29
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    I'm so sorry that your FH is going through this with friends. It's sounds like a really difficult situation.

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  • Catherine
    Frequent user July 2020 Quebec
    Catherine ·
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    Gosh I am so sorry to hear that. Better it come out now than a few days, or worse, during the wedding!!
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  • Maya
    Expert January 2019 Alberta
    Maya ·
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    Yeah, I am feeling very sad for my fiancé. I think he plans to ask a cousin and another old friend who he talks to now and again. I told him I don’t want him to feel pressured to ask anyone. I suggested we could do a sweet heart table, but I think he is set on having the big head table.
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    Our wedding party is unbalanced and I didn't want him to feel pressured to ask someone he's not close with. We'll probably do a sweetheart table as well, just because I don't want our party to be separated from family/SO's who don't know anyone else.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I'm sorry that this is how he is losing friends - it's hard enough losing your friends but when it is during the process of planning a wedding it just feels like a bigger than normal slap in the face.

    Hope everything works out!

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  • Maya
    Expert January 2019 Alberta
    Maya ·
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    I hope so, he’s talked to his mom about it and he may have one of his cousins step in and another friend who as he says they talk to each other once in a blue moon. I just don’t want him to feel pressured to fill seats and was saying I’m fine just having a sweet heart table instead of a head table. Even if he does ask those other people I think I would almost still prefer a sweetheart table. My one maid of honour will most likely have her 9 month old with her and her boyfriend can’t come and neither is her sister. Not that I don’t love babies, but it would give her more privacy.
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  • Maya
    Expert January 2019 Alberta
    Maya ·
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    I think that’s what’s going to happen. I just feel sad for my fiancé as these are his oldest friends that are just cutting ties like their friendship meant nothing. That’s probably a story I’m telling myself, but I don’t think it’s far off the truth. The one guy who is not communicating at all got married a few years ago and my fiancé paid to go to Mexico for his destination wedding. Just doesn’t seem fair in my mind. I know all my girls would never do that.
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  • Maya
    Expert January 2019 Alberta
    Maya ·
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    Yes, in a way he was straight up. But before it was a lot of back and forth and lots of verbal abuse.
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    That sucks! Hopefully everything works out for you guys!

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  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
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    I know it’s hard. But they aren’t true friends. Let them go and move on.
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  • Catherine
    Frequent user July 2020 Quebec
    Catherine ·
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    I am so sorry this is happening. Not a very pleasant situation. If there isn't more to this story, they don't sound like very true friends to be honest. And they are acting pretty childishly. If they have a problem why not just say so, instead of ignoring. At least one guy was straight up honest said he doesn't want to be bestman.
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