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Brett
Frequent user July 2020 Saskatchewan

Groom dragging his feet rant

Brett, on January 18, 2020 at 10:42 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 15
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So we are 6month and 7 days away from our wedding day. We got engaged just over a year ago. My groom still has not asked anyone to stand up for him, despite me giving him multiple deadlines to do so! I am beyond stressed about it.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Cassie, on January 20, 2020 at 12:32
  • C
    Curious April 2020 Alberta
    Cassie ·
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    My fiancé was the same way! As much as he wanted to join in on the planning he takes forever to make a decision. He also had a hard time asking his groomsmen because he found it awkward. He finally asked them and all is well. Don't stress too much over it. He will ask them and luckily getting their wardrobes isn't as time sensitive as it is for bridesmaids.


    Let him do it on his time - I know its hard but if you keep pushing he will keep pushing back.

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  • M
    Frequent user May 2021 Ontario
    Megan ·
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    Depending on how passive aggressive you want to be (I love being passive aggressive lol) you could sit down with him and ask him for the name of his groomsmen. Make him make a list with you right there or tell him you're choosing. Then start suggesting names and write them down so that he can see you mean business. I love crafting so I would make "will you be my groomsman?" cards myself. Give them to your FH and tell him that he hands them out to his groomsmen and he has 5 days to do it. Tell him that after 5 days, you are going to text/email/call/DM them each and say "can't wait to have you in our wedding party! So glad that FH asked you of all people!" and that if he hasn't given them the card, he's going to look might stupid to his friends! And then if he hasn't done it, you can just tell the friend "oops, must have been a different groomsman he asked today! Well in any case, you're on the list he gave me, so just send him a text letting him know that you know and confirmation if you would like the spot! I guess I got so excited I didn't check which people he actually asked!'


    Then you have the groomsmen and he is either feeling silly for not doing it, or has in fact ponied up and done it himself! Also be on the look out for other places that he might do it! I would personally have a work with his Best Man that he's going to need someone to help keep him on track for suit fittings and whatnot, so you would love if BM can give him a hand with that as you handle the bride stuff Smiley smile

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Hmmm, what about you being there with him and not just the Future Groomsmen, but their S/O's as well? Then you could try and nudge him and offer to bring it up in conversation?

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  • Brett
    Frequent user July 2020 Saskatchewan
    Brett ·
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    I have threatened to ask them myself. I have given him multiple deadlines over the past year. He does suffer from severe anxiety so I know that’s part of it. Trying to be mindful of that but I’m getting stressed.
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Well now it's cutting it rather close - when it came to my DH asking his men I just told him that if he doesn't then I will Smiley tongue If he's just going to casually ask them then maybe look in your calendar and see if you can encourage him to take the boys out for drinks and ask them then?

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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Did you ask him why he hasnt done it yet? tell him the guys need to go get their suits and ties and shoes etc.

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  • Kimberly
    Frequent user July 2020 Ontario
    Kimberly ·
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    My groom knew who he wanted to ask but took forever to do it. I gave him deadlines and told him if he didn’t ask that I would....
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  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    So frustrating.
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  • Amelia
    Super September 2020 Ontario
    Amelia ·
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    Girl, I'd be losing my mind if it were me. Honestly, at this point I'd threaten that he needs to ask his guys in the next week or two or he won't get anyone. Period. It's not fair to the guys to give that short of notice. Besides, they should be getting in to find suits soon.

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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Make it an evening to invite the individual to dinner so that your fiancé has incentive to ask him in front of you. Give him a reason or compromise so that you feel better and its done in a way that he can ask in the conversation brought up about the wedding plans.

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  • Brett
    Frequent user July 2020 Saskatchewan
    Brett ·
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    He doesn’t want to be up there alone. He knows who he’s going to ask just has not done it yet
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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Some grooms prefer not to have anyone stand up with them and keep it simple. Let him decide if he does want to ask his best friend or sibling when he's ready. Time is close and the frustration is there which is understandable.

    I had many frustrations with my husband back in the planning process of asking payments being put towards the costs besides myself alone. It wasn't easy and just gave up after some time. Just let things be as he will want to stand up alone and feel comfortable.

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  • Brett
    Frequent user July 2020 Saskatchewan
    Brett ·
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    He knows who he’s going to ask. Has known since we got engaged. Just has not asked!
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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    I mean it’s unfortunate but legally you just need two witnesses to sign your documents. Anyone over the age of 16. So parents, siblings, friends, family.


    Guys are weird though like my fiancé has been a groomsmen before and nothing seemed official until they actually bought their suits, lol.
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  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    You have every right to be upset! It took my FH about 3 months to figure out 1 person to stand with him and about 2 more to ask but we are still at this point over a year away. I would be livid if I was at the 6 month mark without that answer. I hope he chooses and gets answers soon.
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