Going forward with ceremony and postponing the reception

I’m so sorry for all of you going through this during these times. My daughter is in the same boat, she did get married with just the parents this June still and her big ceremony/ reception will be in June 2021 on her one year anniversary. We are wondering what to put on the new invitations since hers had already gone out. What are you others doing?

Thanks everyone for the input, you all have great ideas and perspectives. It's so hard trying to navigate this but I am just happy get to married and start this new chapter in our lives ❤

Personally I think if you've purchased the invites, send them out! This is such an unpredictable/unexplainable time and I am sure your guest are more than understading of the situation.

Why not have your first dance/speeches ans such now, then do it again next year! There is no right or wrong way to have a wedding. Do what you feel is best, its your special day after all.

We are in the same page. I was engaged last 2018 and feel the need to get married already. I am getting married in 6 days! And we have the same plan. I will have a second big reception next year with my family and relatives already. I don’t have any family on my wedding this year because they are out of the country. In my case I already sent out the invitation before covid started and we are expecting 200-250 guests. It is easy to tel the out of the country guests because in their case they can’t even travel. It was hard for us to inform those who are just in town who already got the invitations. We just messaged them or even invited them on stag/bridal shower but informed them they were not invited on the wedding ceremony because of the restrictions. We will have a mini reception this year but we limit the traditional practices. We won’t have father daughter dance, no tossing of bouquet or even cake cutting!. We will have our first dance for sure.. “you only get married once!” Next year will be different coz it’s a renewal. I hope everything will fall into place on your wedding day! And please pray for our wedding day this Saturday!😊

View quoted message Steal away! I absolutely don't mind, I'm happy that people like the idea enough to want to use it too ❤️

For the invites do not send them. only send them to the 40 people attending on that day. i would place a note on them or call those 40 people and let them know only they are invited and that the big reception is the following year and youre just having the ceremony itself NOT the wedding. also when you call or email those 40 attending people just mention no gifts since its just a ceremony. i would also do everything on the big reception day like speeches etc. you can also do the vowel renewal and then have the reception right after. if people choose to give something let them give. also update your website to say that youre having a small intimate ceremony only on the scheduled day this year and then wedding reception the following year. that way people arent confused. we have been engaged since 2018 as well. our wedding is in aug or it was suppose to be. i thought a year and half would be great to save and plan and do everything and now we have to wait another year.

So sorry your day isn’t happening as originally planned 😢 but it sounds like your wedding day will still be amazing—and the reception next year will be a showstopper!


No rational guest will consider your revised plans to be selfish, or think you’re double dipping, etc. These are unprecedented circumstances and the small wedding this year / reception next year is an extremely popular model for Covid-impacted couples! You can definitely incorporate the features of a traditional wedding reception (eg speeches, games) into your event next year. It’ll be even better because speakers can talk about your first year as a married couple and how wonderfully you’ve fared ☺️
As for gifts, I think a quick word on your wedding website will do the trick. You could also ask family to subtly spread the word to guests attending the wedding this year since they’re the most likely to try to give you a gift.
I have conflicting thoughts on the invitations. I don’t see any harm in mailing them out to guests attending virtually, as long as you “redact” the reception info somehow and include a SUPER clear note explaining that you’re requesting their virtual presence. Because it is cute and fun and everyone likes getting something in the mail and it would be nice for your invites to go to use. But at the same time, that is a LOT of unnecessary postage. And you’ll have to spend that money again mailing reception invites next year. So I guess if it were me I’d probably mail physical invitations only to the 40 guests attending this year, and send the others an e-vite of some kind.
Good luck!! 💕

View quoted message Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your midnight countdown idea! I saw it and LOVE that idea!!! (Hope you don’t mind me stealing it but it actually made me super excited to have a reception a year later)

In the event of the invitation ordered and not sent out, the printing company is able to make reception invites for next year instead so your guests will know your married and just having the reception held back. The invites you have currently, the guests to invite would be sent than those not to be present this year. A postponement note would be good to let them know too of the changes and the reception invite to follow through next year.

First off, definitely do not feel like you are being selfish having “two weddings”, a lot of people are in the same boat, and those you are inviting will more than likely be more than understanding given the current circumstances! We did the same kind of thing, and are looking forward to having two days to look back on, the day we officially said “I do” and the day we got to renew and offically celebrate with all of our closest family and friends!! We were supposed to get married May 23rd, and due to the restrictions at the time and the struggle to get a marriage license, when we finally did get one last week of April, decided to get married April 25th as May didnt have much significance anyhow.
Invite wise - you should be good with keeping your original invites and maybe just typing up a little bit to stick in the envelope also something along the lines of “We couldn’t imagine our day without you, and while the current gathering restrictions don’t allow you to be with us in person we would love for you to join us virually, and we look forward to celebrating put special day again with you next year! Keep an eye on our wedding website for more information for 2021!” or whatever you feel is best and just sending out virtual invites or asking friends and family to keep an eye on your wedding website for updates! Maybe make a social media post prior to sending out invites or message/reach out those who have been inquiring to let them know your plans so far!
Gifts - I think what Hank said is a great idea! Maybe just make note of that when you send out invites or post on your wedding website, whichever you feel would be best, and reach the most of your guests! Speeches etc- Definetly not weird to do this stuff at your postponed date! We are also renewing our vows on our anniversary next year and are saving the walk down the aisle, speeches, dance & party for that celebration with all of our friends and family! Hope both of your days are fantastic!!

We're doing the same thing. For the people attending the ceremony this year we are inviting them in person. They're our closest people so we see them often enough to keep them updated. Everyone who got a save the date is getting a call or message to let them know that the plans have changed and we will let them know more next spring/summer. As much as it sucks to waste the invites this might be more clear.


Like you we are renewing our vows next year and we're saving some of the traditional elements like the bouquet toss, speeches, and dances for that party. We've planned ours to fall the day before our anniversary so it's celebrating our marriage and anniversary. At midnight we're having a countdown!

Invitations: Do you have everyone's emails? If so, I would just evite everyone to the virtual ceremony. People will need a computer to see the live stream anyway so not being tech savvy is no longer an excuse. It'll save you the burden of potentially confused people and save yourself the postage cost.

Gifts: A friend of mine doing a virtual ceremony used this line.

At this time, we are not accepting wedding gifts, just your well wishes! We'll plan our honeymoon (and celebrating with you all) at a later date.

You can opt for people to make a small donation to a charity you support if you wish.

Games and Speeches: Since you'll be married for a year, your speeches will be of a different context but I see no problem with the couple and family saying words of thanks. For games, just switch the language around the intro to something like marriage games instead of wedding games. Then again, no one is going to be that nitpicky.

Even if you had "two weddings" I don't see how that is selfish at all. Look at South Asian celebrations that are back-to-back celebrations all week long. Or couples who hold weddings multiple times in different countries because of family. Considering our situation, people will understand.