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Allison
Master October 2019 Ontario

Giving the Bride Away...

Allison, on October 25, 2018 at 15:43 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 10
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I meet with my officiant next week but I am still figuring how to navigate the traditional "who gives this woman to be married to this man?" part of the ceremony. My FH and I are modern and progressive, and the connections to giving away the bride are cringe-y to say the least.

My dad is super excited about my wedding and about walking me down the aisle. I thought about having my mom join us since I don't want to take away his moment.

I also wasn't aware that the officiant actually asks "who gives this woman to be married to this man?" before the dad "gives away" his daughter. I found some alternatives to the traditional wording and my favourite is:
Officiant: "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"
Answer: "She gives herself, but with her family's blessing."
I also like: Officiant: "Does (name have (his/her) family's blessing to marry (name)?
Answer: "(He/she) does."

Here's a Link to Alternatives to Giving away the Bride in case anyone else is having this issue!

Anyone else navigating this problem? What are you doing differently from the traditional set up?

10 Comments

Latest activity by Rekramer, on October 29, 2018 at 17:16
  • Rekramer
    Expert November 2018 Ontario
    Rekramer ·
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    We're not doing anything that suggests someone is giving me to Evan. Both my parents are walking me down the aisle but there's 0 language in our ceremony about me being given away. Our script has some language about us pledging ourselves to each other, and giving each other our hearts, but I was very clearly that I wouldn't stand for anything that sounded possessive from either of us.

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I do too, I wasn't aware it was really an option (not saying anything). But I'll probably end up with the blessing, since my FH did ask for his blessing before proposing lol

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  • Jennifer
    Super July 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
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    I like the idea of not saying anything at all. but I haven't decided that piece. If you want your dad to say something or he is really excited to be involved like that. option 2 that you posted above is pretty great! I like it!

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I've seen weddings where it was worded that the parents gave blessings.

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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
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    The last few weddings I've been to that hasn't been asked. I think you can skip it. At my brother's wedding, it was worded so that both sets of parents gave their blessing.

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I like that! I just don't want an announcement at the beginning about who's giving who away.

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  • Clarissa
    Expert October 2018 Saskatchewan
    Clarissa ·
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    So we had a church ceremony but no official giving away of the bride. When I got to the front of the church with my dad my husband came down and met us. He shook hands with my dad, hugged my mom, and then together we made our way up to the alter to meet the pastor. It might be a happy middle ground if you think it might work for you.
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    That is the alternative option: to not say anything and just get on with it!

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  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
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    Nothing actually needs to be said. My dad will be walking me down but there is nothing in our ceremony about giving anyone away. My dad will simply walk me down the aisle, probably give me a kiss on the cheek then he will sit down and I will take my place.

    You could always do something like that.
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  • K
    Expert September 2018 British Columbia
    Kim ·
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    I wanted to give my dad his "moment" so I left the giving away the bride in our ceremony, but I don't see any reason why it *has to* be in there. Have him walk you down the aisle, kiss your cheek (or not) and sit down without the officiant asking any such question.

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