Future sister in law for a bridesmaid????

I don't have a lot of friends. Actually, the friends I do consider my friends all came with my fiance when we first started dating. I've got one sister I can ask, and another sister who I love dearly, but won't put her in the position of being a bridesmaid as I feel thats not super fair to her (she refuses to wear girls clothes). So I'm asking my sister to by my matron of honour. A mutal friend, and my niece who will be 19 at the time of our wedding. That left one open spot. The only other options was someone else I really don't like, she wants to control a lot, and I want no part, or my future sister-in-law who I love, but she's dramatic, has an attitude problem, and I just wasn't sure.

I ended up settling on my future sister-in-law. She means a lot to my fiance, as she's his only sibling, and he wanted her to be a part of our wedding so badly. I know that she'll be there to talk wedding with me, as she was probably the most excited about us getting married (she guessed it before we told her), and she's already so excited she started writing a speech. I know she'll support us, and follow through with what I want, rather than trying to control things and make my life more difficult.


However, that being said....if you just don't want her to be your bridesmaid, and you don't think you'll ever be close, you don't HAVE to ask her. That is your decision. If your fiance wants her in the wedding, ask him about maybe doing a groomswoman? That way you both win?

I mean I totally have FH's sister on my side and he has my 2 brothers on his side. But if there were big issues amoungst us, I would have them stand on the other side, not a big deal now a days!

Haha there you go! Making the most of it!

Good idea to have her stand on his side! We had uneven sides (5 bridesmaids to 1 groomsman) so we had two of my sisters that are close with my husband stand on his side during the ceremony.

Omg Chelsea that is intense! That must be so stressful for you!

Be 100% sure before you ask anyone... I'm stuck having his best friend from high school on my side... we got cought up in the moment, told him she could be on my side and he asked before I could tell him I changed my mind... wish I had told him if he wanted her that she would have to be on his side... If you do get stuck with her it's not so bad, I don't need her so she has no jobs assigned I haven't even spoken to her since October... silver lining she is a nurse so if I can't manage my dress and the bathroom it can be her job, bwhahaha.

Well she can be a part of the wedding- but on his side!

It is nice that he wants to involve her- but weddings aren't about "paying people back" for being in their weddings. It should be about you two, as a couple and surrounding yourselves with people who love and support you...and it souds like your FSIL might not be supportive to you.

I am so sorry you are struggling with this- it sounds like a delicate and difficult situation.

Ya I'm not sure what to do. I will have a talk with him sometime soon about this. It's his only sister and he wants her to be apart of our wedding just like she asked him to be a part of hers.

I have both my fiance's sisters in my wedding party! Family means a lot to both of us, so it wasn't even a question to have them in it.

If I were you, I would not ask her to be one of your bridesmaids. You are not close with her, and she was against your FH proposing, NO WAY! Talk to FH and let him know exactly why you feel this way.

Personally, I would not ask her to stand with me if she does not support you marrying her brother. It is crappy, but I don't think it would be fair to you, if you don't think you could count on her as you would another close friend.

I think Val's suggestion to have her as a "groomswoman" is a good idea. the sides don't have to be so separate and even anymore, so it won't be bizzare

I think it is also worth having a pretty serious conversation with your FH about your concerns. You are entering a life together (with or without family support) and I think maybe he doesn't understand why it would be hard on you to have someone who doesn't support you stand as a bridesmaid. As Val said, the "family stuff" boards re closed to non WW memebers, so a bit more private, if you ever need to vent. Good luck

You definitely don't need to have her a part of the wedding! It is one thing if you are super close and you wanted her there but the fact she was against your FH proposing in the first place, to me would say that she probably isn't going to be very supportive during the planning process or the day of! You want people there loving and supporting you 100% ! I don't have my SIL in my wedding party, but she has a lawsuit against me so don't talk because she is one of the most terrible people I have ever met!

I have my future SIL in my wedding party, now her and i get along although we dont know each other well and she doesnt quiet fit in with my quirky bunch but I felt it was what my FH wanted was his only sister and sibling to be apart of his day I could do that for him ! I include her in everything and wether or not she comes is another story ... so I gave her minial duties she basically just has to show up and wear the appropriate clothing lol ... my closet girls will handle the rest they are good like that ... I wish you luck !

Hi TashaYou absolutely don't HAVE to ask her, have you suggested FH ask her to stand with him? She can coordinate with the bridesmaids (wear the same dress or just match whatever style you're going for) but will be standing with him? It's more common now a days to have "groomswomen" and "bridesmen" and it would be a nice compromise. She'll get to be in the wedding party but not one of your bridesmaids. I also agree with the other ladies, these people are going to be family and if FH is close to them, they'll be in your life a long time. Why not take steps to help your relationship. Given it doesn't always work... I had issues with my sister in law (my brothers wife) and so I had a talk with her, she was nice and apologetic to my face and in front of my brother but went on doing the same stuff when he wasn't around. But I felt better that I made the effort, and still do (just not as much).This is getting long but, my parents also randomly had an issue with fh after we got engaged, I sat them all down and we had it out. It's been 7 months and things are just starting to get better, hurt feelings take time to repair, but we are working in a positive direction now. I hope it works out for you. If you want to chat always feel free to post in the "family stuff" group or feel free to private message me

Hi Tasha, I agree with Sam. I feel you should speak to your fiancé about this and voice your concerns as to why you don't want her as a bridesmaid. I wish you all the best.

Hi Tasha! Welcome! If you're not close with her, then I don't think you have to ask her to be your bridesmaid. You should explain your concerns to your fiance and tell him why it's important to you. Hopefully he should understand and support you. Your bridesmaids should be those closest to you and people who are going to support you and be there for you.

Have you already asked your other bridesmaids to be in the wedding party? Good luck and I hope it works out!