Future sister in law = bridesmaid?

I am not having my future sister in law in my bridal party, we aren’t close and since her daughters are in the wedding I need her to be focused on watching her kids rather than being up there with me. I haven’t discussed this with her but I have had to explain myself to my future mother in law multiple times. It can be hard but honestly it’s your day and if your not comfortable with it don’t do it.

My FH has my Brother in his wedding party and they really aren't that close either. They only see each other at family functions and even then they don't talk much.

We're a Hispanic family though so believe in family being a big part in the day.

It's completely up to you. If We didn't include my brother we would have only had 2 in the party as well. We now have 3 each.

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Hopefully! Fingers crossed.. No one wants to hurt anyone's feelings but you also need to do you.. it's your wedding.

View quoted message It’s nice to hear from a SIL perspective thank you! I think (and hope!) she feels the same way as you

Speaking as a sister in law - when my brother got married I was not asked to be a bridesmaid and I was not upset. We weren't close so I never expected it (we are much closer now and she is actually going to be our officiant).. but years ago meh.. I would have said yes if she had asked but I would have been standing for my brother, not her.. I wouldn't feel bad at all, there are other ways to include her.

Thanks everyone! You guys are really helping me feel better about my decision. I really like that it’s still an option to keep her involved in other ways as well

Mine is a bridesmaid and it was the worst decision I have ever made. I only have 1 moh and 1 bridesmaid (aka sister in law). So my deal started when she found out what the dresses was going to be when she was too busy to go dress shopping with me had a temper tantrum in the store. I literally wanted her in another colour but because of her tantrum went with the colour she wanted. Then my sister was planning my bridal shower she said she would do certain things (then claimed she new nothing about the shower even though they were talking through messenger). Then she flaked out on my bachelorette when I just wanted it to be the wedding party (and also claimed she new nothing about it) which she did. She left my sister footing the whole bill.

If if I could go back I would and I would ask someone else. But go with your gut.

Go with your gut and don't have her in your wedding party. I was torn between including my FSIL and am glad I didn't since it's difficult enough to keep tabs on the small amount of people I currently have in my bridal party (I didn't need one more to deal with!).

Nope! im in a similar boat - i’m not particularly close with my future SIL. i chose my wedding party almost a year ago now, and i have no regrets about not asking her to be a bridesmaid. she still gets to be a part of the wedding planning process, and will even be joining me and my bridesmaids for dress shopping next weekend. she doesn’t need to be a bridesmaid to still be included in those things!

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That was what I was going to suggest! Just keep her with the group and include her in the wedding shower and the bachelorette if she want's to. And of course like Kelsie said she could do a dinner blessing or like my FH's cousins did for their brother - they gave a speech and they weren't in her wedding party!

I wouldn't worry about having her, especially since your wedding party is small. I do agree with keeping her included with wedding stuff since she'll appreciate that, but she'll understand that you want to keep your bridal party small.

If you aren't close with her, then I wouldn't. You can include her in other ways (MC, saying Grace etc)

I have my sister as my MOH and my 3 future sister in laws as my bridesmaids as I am close with them. When I was telling my parents thats who we were doing, I had some comments about not including my step sisters ( I have 2). I am not close with them at all. I literally only talk to them when the whole family gets together.

Long story short, don't feel pressured by other people. If you are only having 2, stick to 2. I am sure she will understand. You want people beside you who you are close with!

Thanks guys really appreciate your feedback. I will also make the effort to include her. That is really thoughtful. I’ve already asked if she wants to do hair and makeup with us and our moms and I def need her help with decorating

I’m the same with my FSIL and we aren’t close.

Trust me when i say, don’t include her if you aren’t close. You can give her something else to do if you feel inclined. For example, my FSIL is doing our dinner blessing.

I wouldn't have her if you aren't close at all. I am having one of the two sisters my FH has and I am close with her. I have included the other sister in other events to make her feel included though- example she wanted to help with bridal shower and she is helping, she sold tickets for stag and doe for us and we chat once while about wedding stuff. Stick with your guns and keep people have. I know you feel like you should have her but she might not want to even be a part of it either