Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Iana
Newbie September 2023 Ontario

Future Father In Law Upset we Have a “no Kids Rule”

Iana, on February 8, 2023 at 18:35 Posted in Plan a wedding 1 3
Saved
Reply
We have a “no kids rule” at our wedding for a couple of reasons: 1) I have around 20 kids in my family and he has about 10 2) My fiancee’s nephews are not disciplined as his parents believe that “kids will be kids” - and I’m afraid of them causing a rukus during the reception.


My FFIL found out about the rule and was livid, stating that if there are no kids, family from overseas won’t be able to come as they cannot find childcare. My FFIL is a traditional, Chinese man who grew up in a family of 7 other siblings. He pulled the “I’m the head of the household” card and threatened my FH (his son) that he would tell the whole family not to come to our wedding if we don’t invite the kids. He stated that this is how it’s been traditionally done and how it’s going to be. He told us to change our Save the Dates to address that we would be including the kids.
Here’s the worst part, my FH refuses to say no. He wants to respect his father’s wishes, although he’s been a terrible father to my FH. I feel utterly defeated and disrespected. It took me a while to create a relationship with his father because he’s cold and emotionless. How do I navigate this situation? It’s causing me sadness and taking joy out of an event that I should be excited for. Not to mention that I’m terrified that my FH will never be able to say no to his father.

3 Comments

Latest activity by Carine, on February 9, 2023 at 15:46
  • C
    VIP September 2023 Ontario
    Carine ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    Wow this is a tough one, I see both sides, but at the same time it's your wedding. Most people are going with a kids free wedding, and I don't blame them. I was at a wedding this summer and she had kids; they had their own section with the parents, trying to hear the speeches made it difficult to hear, the adults weren't watching their kids and they were all over the place. Only time it was nice when it was bedtime and the kids left to go to bed and the adults could actually have fun without bumping into a child.

    Be firm with you FIL and hopefully it will work out in the end, or you can come to a compromise.

    • Reply
  • Julie
    Featured May 2023 Ontario
    Julie ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    OH WOW!!! I was blown away reading this!! I am sorry to hear that you have this to deal with. Breathe! I agree that you and your FH need to be firm and stand on the same page. If you haven't let him know your feelings, you should. It may cause a tiff with you guys but i'm sure you will both come to a mutual agreement. Communication is key. Better you can both work it out together and get past this. Good luck to you. Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Kate
    Featured August 2022 Ontario
    Kate ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    Oh goodness, I am so so sorry you are going through this - this is so difficult and should not even be happening. I personally think if you wish to have no kids for your special day, it's not a big deal and should be respected and you and your future husband should get on the same page and be firm and say, no kids, period. I also say this because it may leave your FFIL thinking he can call the shots on your lives and this lets him know that is not going to fly. Also, speaks volumes about his character if he would actually tell guests not to come, what is that about?? how concerning! HOWEVER, if you feel it will be damaging and is causing your partner much stress, etc. I understand giving in for the "bigger picture" and future relationship.

    It's a tough one... at the end of the day, try and make the decision you can stand by the best and feel the least regretful about, that's what I do when I find myself in situations like this. Good luck and try not to let anyone or anything break your spirit during this very special time Smiley heart

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

27 Rainbow Wedding Theme Ideas We’re Totally Obsessed With
Wedding Decoration 27 Rainbow Wedding Theme Ideas We’re Totally Obsessed With Want to infuse your big day with red, yellow, blue and every colour in between?...
13 Winter Wedding Cakes We’re Absolutely Obsessed With
Cake & Sweets 13 Winter Wedding Cakes We’re Absolutely Obsessed With Tying the knot in one of the colder months? If you want a dessert that matches...
The 36 Best Father-Daughter Wedding Songs for a Memorable Dance
Wedding Music The 36 Best Father-Daughter Wedding Songs for a Memorable... Thank your dad for his lifelong love and support with a spin around the dance...
Read more articles

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire Article Topics