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Bianca
Master August 2019 Ontario

FSIL Had Request For Photographer

Bianca, on March 30, 2019 at 12:29

Posted in Before the wedding 40

Recently my FSIL proposed the idea that on my wedding day she wants to use my photographer to take a few professional photographs of herself, her husband, and their two kids (since they will all look nice dresses up). I didn’t have a problem with this until she then began suggesting that more photos...
Recently my FSIL proposed the idea that on my wedding day she wants to use my photographer to take a few professional photographs of herself, her husband, and their two kids (since they will all look nice dresses up). I didn’t have a problem with this until she then began suggesting that more photos be taken.

She wants a generational photo of FMIL, her, and her daughter, a generational photo of her husband, her son, and HER FIL. Am I wrong to want to be selfish with my very expensive photographer? How do I tell FSIL that I don’t want this?

I think I’m coming off (to them at least) as a bridezilla but that’s only because I’m super independent and I still don’t have set colours for my wedding (surprise, there are none because I just don’t care about that). How do I tell her “no” to using my photographer? I was going to have a talk to my photographer ahead of time to ensure that she doesn’t get bamboozled into taking dozens of poses photos for them.

Any advice would be extremely helpful ❤️

40 Comments

  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
    • Dispute

    I agree with having the photographer say she can't handle the extra photos. She's there to capture your day and you and your FH, not meet your FSIL's demands. Definitely not bridezilla of you to keep your photographer - that you are paying for - to yourself.

    • Reply
  • Maegan
    Frequent user August 2021 Ontario
    Maegan ·
    • Dispute
    I agree with Robyn and Casey's comments.
    Also I honestly don't even think my photographer would do it or allow it unless it was something us as a couple asked her, and even if we did request it, I doubt she'd be happy about it. All those photos could easily be a whole other session for a photographer.
    • Reply
  • K
    Newbie November 2021 Ontario
    Kelly ·
    • Dispute
    I would just tell her you spoke with your photographer and they said that she would have to book something separate as they need to focus on you and the groom and capturing all of your special moments. I don’t think your being unreasonable at all. It’s your day and your money. You didn’t pay the photographer to take a family photo shoot for them. ( also if you go this route let your photographer know so your both on the same page if she tries to bombard the photographer)
    • Reply
  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
    • Dispute
    I wouldn't allow this. Not to be rude but we are paying our photographer for us, not anyone else. I'm not paying for family members to take advantage of our photographer. I'd just tell her that the photographer is not their for her so she will have to book her own family portraits and get all dressed up another time. The best way to deal with this is to just say no, there is no easy way because she will get upset I'm sure but she needs to understand that it's not her day. Talk to you photographer and maybe they can help out too. But I'd also say no to even one picture because that can lead to more or even other members requesting family photos. You're not a bridezilla and even if you came across as one who cares..you can only be a bridezilla once so might as well lol
    • Reply
  • Caitlyn
    Super January 2020 Ontario
    Caitlyn ·
    • Dispute
    I honestly don’t think you’re being a bridezilla. You’re the one paying the photographer so they’re there to take the photos you want. If it was just a request like “oh would you mind if we make sure to get a nice picture of me, husband and the kids” then that’s just a simple request. It sounds though that she kind of wants her own photo shoot. Tell her that your photographer doesn’t have time and/or like others suggested, tell your photographer and get them to say no to your FSIL and that they are there for your wedding photos.
    • Reply
  • S
    Frequent user October 2019 Ontario
    Sarah ·
    • Dispute
    I would tell the photographer to say no to her requests as a heads up for the day of. Also to your FSIL I would tell her that the photographer will not allow it as that is a seperate session that would need to be scheduled on a different day

    That’s rude of her to ask you.
    • Reply
  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
    • Dispute
    Wow. That’s not only a lot of extra stress for you on your wedding day. But also on your photographer. It would take them away from your wedding to take these photos , even if there are only a couple.
    I would for sure talk to your photographer and maybe have it come from them that they are focusing on shooting pictures for the bride and groom.
    • Reply
  • Robyn
    Super June 2019 Ontario
    Robyn ·
    • Dispute
    Oooh this is a tough one. To save you extra stress and prevent tension with your FSIL, I would ask the photographer to handle it - he/she could tell your FSIL that they can only focus on the wedding as it is a large and detailed event requiring all of their attention and resources. Which is probably true, I would assume? Then you avoid having to be the one to say no. I'm sure your photographer has encountered similar situations in the past and would be happy to help Smiley smile
    • Reply

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