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Holly
VIP June 2019 Ontario

From Bride to MOH!

Holly, on July 26, 2019 at 00:43 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 14
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Well I'll be sticking around a bit longer now, my best friend is getting married!! She was my maid of honour and asked me to be her Matron of honour. I am so excited! However, there is potentially an issue. She lives is Ontario and I am in BC. Plane tickets during peak summer (which is when the wedding will be) are extremely expensive, possibly more than what will my in mine and my husbands budget. It's not only the flight but also accommodation, transportation, wedding attire etc... At the time of her wedding my husband and I plan to have already had our second child, which will likely still be a small baby (if all goes according to plan of course). So with 2 kids and flying where they don't have any direct flights only 2 stop flights, I just don't think it will be something we can do. We plan to buy a house next year as well as our honeymoon at the beginning of the year. We can't just put our plans and family and life on hold to afford this. I know it's still early and I'm probably over thinking it but I'm just worried that we will either get into a financial situation or end up hurting my best friend. I think I just needed to get my concern out and here some opinions or advice. I don't want to bring it up to her and freak her out thinking that I'll drop out of her wedding, because I would never do that if I can help it.
Maybe I just need ya'll to send me positive thoughts and vibes and tell me I'm overreacting lol

14 Comments

Latest activity by Bianca, on July 29, 2019 at 10:03
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    All the positive thoughts for you!

    Did you agree to be her MOH? I know it's not ideal but you could always just attend the wedding alone if you have to, that way you don't have to miss it (and don't necessarily have to travel cross-country with a potential newborn).

    Everything will work out! Smiley heart

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  • Taylor
    Devoted October 2021 Alberta
    Taylor ·
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    I hope everything works out. I think it really would be important to just be honest. Just say you want to be there and will try and do everything in your power to make that happen but nothing is worse then it being last minute and finding out your MOH cant be there. Atleast maybe if your honest she can make some back up plans. If she kicks you out then I guess you know where she stands in your life. Take the next little bit of time and explore your options and then talk to her. Research whens the cheapest time to buy tickets for peak season. Sometimes even getting them certain days of the week or at certain times can save you a few bucks. Be supportive and find out what shes looking for in dresses and see if you can make her dreams come true without breaking the bank. I told my MOH what i was looking for and turns out she had something that worked in her closet! Theres tons of shops online and even amazon with great deals and dressings but you just have to make sure you read all the reviews and dont buy without review pictures. I always read worst to best to see if the worst is really that bad. Maybe talk to some of her other friends and family out there to see if they will pick you up and take you back. or atleast take you one way to save a little bit. It just depends how much of a priority this is to you. it might come down to penny pinching to the max.

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I hope it all works out for you guys! Where abouts is her wedding? If you can fly straight from where you are in BC to TO it's definitely cheaper! Also if she's getting married near family, you might be able to crash with them to save hotel costs.

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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    We'll for sure make it work. We have a few ideas and our goal is to make it a family trip and not just me!
    I definitely think I'll bring it up to her, she flys a lot so maybe she has a website or something she can suggest.

    Thanks so much!!
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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    I have considered going alone, if I do then it would have to be a one day/night thing which would suck.
    Definitely looking into all different apps and sites for cheaper flights, gotta do my research for sure
    Thanks so much!!
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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    Definitely checking out Hopper
    Hope all works out with your sister!
    Thanks so much !
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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    Hopper seems highly recommended so definitely checking that out!
    Thanks so much!!
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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    Yeah it's such a difficult situation, I will basically do anything to be at her wedding so if that means having to go just me and having a one day/night kinda thing then I'll do it. It will seriously suck but I'll do it if I have to. The goal is to be there for a week so I can host her a bachelorette and/or bridal shower as well as help with last minute details. I know whatever they ask of me I'll find a way, I did plan my own wedding from basically the same distance so that's no challenge to me. I'm hoping that closer to the time we book that it will be better pricing. I was also considering flying into Toronto and driving the rest of the way. This way we could also visit family in the TO area. I'm a planner so I like to sort things out as soon as possible.
    Those booking tips are great! Definitely going to look into Hopper, seems highly recommended here!

    Thanks so much!
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I would be upfront and honest with your BFF about your situation, let her know you're concerned about prices/lifestyle. If she really is your best friend, she'll probably understand. Also ask her what her expectations would be of you as MOH and your expectations for your family/life in the next year. I know you mentioned you didn't want to talk about it, but I think getting it all out in the open is probably the best thing to do, especially since it's early! It won't get easier to talk about this a few months before the wedding.

    I would still consider doing it, or offer to be a bridesmaid instead. As MOH, you'd probably have to host the pre-wedding events too, and if you think it'll be too much, let her know!!

    I see it from both sides, definitely don't put your life on hold to be at MOH, but at the same time, your friend wants you to be her MOH. I was originally going to have 2 MOH but one dropped down to bridesmaid status because she wasn't in a good financial spot and didn't know where she'd be job-wise closer to the wedding. It did hurt a little to hear that, but I'm glad she threw it out there right from the get-go so I could plan accordingly.

    As for flights, I use hopper quite a bit and I find it works well! Also, book flights around 6 weeks is when they are usually closer, but you probably want to book your friend's wedding sooner than that! Another trick is to book in Chrome's Incognito mode - if you keep going to WestJet multiple times, you see a higher price since you constantly visit that website. Keep an eye out for seat sales too, and watch out for black-out dates!

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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Speaking from what we always do in the family is plan ahead with the flights so that you can save money with the prices. Costs of tickets may be expensive at the time of the season when your looking to travel. Booking ahead does save your more at a lower price quoted by your travel agent.

    When quoted for your friends wedding dates, creating accounts for the baby, house, wedding costs and honeymoon may help to put some money aside from both your paycheques. Planning out will allow you to make the time to attend you friends wedding and enjoy as to not worrying about the house hunting since your rest assured.

    I do understand its hard to think ahead of the wedding costs for the family and not being there for your bf wedding standing beside her. Talk to her about her plans for colours so that if you do have a dress in your closet to save money, let her know so she can understand you won't have much to put towards the dress shopping. You do know her well and can come to a understanding which will work well for you both and should be up there with her to celebrate her day.

    Hope this helps to guide you in a way that will have you less worried for the wedding. Working as a team does help you and your husband to put equally into the accounts to feel secured that every month your able to maintain the same amounts together.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I mean if she is your BFF then I know you'll make it work (even if that means only you attend the wedding and you hubby stays behind with the kids). But like the others said, there are cheaper airlines and on top of that you should be comfortable enough to talk to her about expenses and maybe ask her if you could stay with somebody there or if she knows of anywhere super cheap nearby? Or AirBnb it.

    Start the dialogue by just saying "I can't wait for your wedding, I've got so many ideas - but I know you know I've got lots going on, so you HAVE to try and help me figure this out man. We have our honeymoon, want a baby, want a house, and flights and hotel aren't cheap. So.... thoughts?" lol I'm sure she will understand and offer help!

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    Have you tried to look at flights at swoop- They are a lot cheaper and they have sales. Have you considered just going alone to all the events for her wedding this way you could afford to be in it? I definitely don't think you should put your life on hold but she has also been there for your during yours and still done all the flights.

    I wouldn't say anything just yet until figure out if going alone would be an option- if this could be more affordable in the long run, what events you need to attend (what events did she come up here to attend and see if you could do the same), if you couldn't do the same what you could- what airlines are cheapest and if your able to afford to book in advance- my friend booked in feb for my wedding for the bach and for wedding and paid $600 total with swoop and it was during their sale times.

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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    I agree with Kelsie on Hopper, I have heard of many people using it. You could also get some last minute deals if you book closer to the date.

    I wouldn't say much to her as you never know what can happen. My sister is in the same situation right now coming here for our wedding. She is trying to get pregnant next month, and then fly at the end of September for our wedding, and the best thing to do is take it day by day, Yes it worries me that they haven't booked flights yet and our wedding is in 2 months, but I know she will make it here. You never know what can happen between now and then.


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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    Just yesterday, I saw this app called Hopper which scans the best flight prices a year in advance. Maybe you could see if this is legit?

    I think things change and right now, as there isn’t any urgent issue, don’t bring it up right now.

    Maybe try to put something aside, even $50 each week to save up. I know it’s difficult but as you have a year to save you might be surprised with what you are able to come up with!
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