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Lindsay
Frequent user June 2023 British Columbia

Friendship conflict and wedding planning

Lindsay, on August 30, 2021 at 03:03 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 8
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I have a question, do you guys think I’m crazy for planning a wedding 2 years in advance? Reason why I’m asking is because someone people (2 of my friends) said basically I’m not engaged and I am planning something so far in advance but it hurt because they don’t know that it’s my first and last time I’m planning something huge in my life and I don’t want to be that last minute bride that stresses out cause I didn’t book certain things on time . Now I’m gonna fix my list so that won’t be in my wedding party just a part of the guys list and it hurts honestly. So what do you guys think about this situation?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Meghan, on September 30, 2021 at 16:43
  • Meghan
    Featured September 2022 Ontario
    Meghan ·
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    Not at all!! I got engaged oct 2020 and our wedding is september 2022 and for the same reason as you I did not want to be one of those stressed out brides. I also started planning my wedding right after we got engaged because due to covid a lot brides had to push their dates to 2022 so I had to start booking the vendors I wanted before i lost out on them! You do you girl, don't listen to what people say

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  • Caitlin
    Curious August 2022 Ontario
    Caitlin ·
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    I have been planning for a little while. While I totally understand your friend's opinions, believe it or not, other people aren't always as excited as you are.

    Since it's so far out, I recommend a few things. Pick your wedding party carefully, you may not be close to them in two years.

    If you do want to talk to someone, pick one friend who is in a similar stage of life as you. They can be your wedding buddy. They can share your plans with you and you with them. That way you don't get negative feedback or anyone raining on your parade.

    I've been planning mine since last September, and we're getting married in August 2022 and then we are having our reception in 2023.

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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    You can start planning as long as you know your both on the same page and not engaged as yet. We didn't do a proper engagement though the ring I tried on when entering my husbands home first time (as a boyfriend) fit me as good and still wear as an engagement ring. Your guest list is whom you decide to invite and those that feel your going ahead with something not of their choice. Don't worry about others since they aren't in your shoes and think the same as you.
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    You should do whatever you want. Personally, I think that's really early, but everyone is different. If you want to plan this far in advance then you should do that. If your friends aren't being supportive then don't talk to them about it and let them know that you feel hurt by their comments.

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  • Tunisha
    Featured October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
    • Dispute
    Hello Lindsay,
    Its not crazy for planning your wedding ahead of time. The fact that so many weddings got pushed back and delayed due to the pandemic. It makes sense that you’re getting ahead of it.

    Since you are aware of being engaged and it will take place soon. Also, that you have an idea of when you would like it and you’re looking into the options. It’s a plus for you. You’re ahead of it all and setting everything in order.
    You got this! This is the beginning of opinions that you will be receiving outside. It will get a bit stressful and rough, but just remind them that it’s you and your fiancé’s big day and they will have their time for their planning (if they are not married already). You will do just fine by not letting this affect you! Wishing you all the best in your planning.
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  • Samantha
    Super June 2021 Ontario
    Samantha ·
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    I don't think you're crazy for planning this far out in advance at all. Because of covid so many weddings were re-booked for a later date, so everyone in the wedding industry is going to back logged for the next couple years with re-scheduled couples as well as the newly engaged couples. So as a newly engaged couple, a 2 year engagement is pretty typical at this particular moment in time I think.

    That's also not helpful to be told "you're not engaged" just because your date is a couple years away. If there has been a formal discussion at the very least and both parties have agreed to get get married, then you're engaged in my opinion (whether you have a ring or not), and your friends/wedding party should be supportive and understanding of that. There are certain things that you don't necessarily have to be purchasing right this minute, but discussions about the feel and vibe you want should still take place so that you're not starting with nothing the closer you get to the moment in time when you should be starting to purchase these things.

    As for "fixing" your list, that is entirely your call as you're the one that has to stand with them on your actual wedding day. If you don't feel you'll get the support you need from them a year from now then maybe it is best that you re-evaluate things, but for now, look at the things that only you and your FH should be deciding together like venue, flowers, menu, photographer, and extras like entertainment. These are the kinds of things that you should be looking at first anyhow as they are the vendors that book up the quickest, and you'll feel like you accomplished something.

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  • Lindsay
    Frequent user June 2023 British Columbia
    Lindsay ·
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    Guest list I mean too lol. My brain is tired
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  • Lindsay
    Frequent user June 2023 British Columbia
    Lindsay ·
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    Ignore the someone I meant some* lol
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