First look or ceremony ?

So we did a first look. Our reasoning for it, was we wanted everything to flow together. Our ceremony and reception were at the same location, so we didn't want guests to have to find something to do in between. Our ceremony was at 5pm, then cocktail hour started at 5:30, and we did our entrances at 6:45, for dinner to be served at 7.

Our first look was at 2pm, and honestly it was amazing. It was a chance for my Husband to see me before, and we took a ton of our couple pictures right then. It also gave him a chance to take in the whole look, and talk about it, instead of just seeing each other, having a quick " you look beautiful" and then onto the ceremony.

We did wedding party pictures right after our first look, and our immediate family pictures. So all our big pictures were done before we even got married. Honestly I wouldn't have changed a thing for the way the day went. Hair and makeup was spot on during pictures, and didn't have to worry about touching up after a teary ceremony.

During cocktail hour, we did pictures with the grandparents, each side of the family, and then any other pictures with people we may have missed. This also gave our wedding party a chance to actually eat!

I purposely left time in my schedule to account for photos!

Can you push your ceremony time to start earlier so you have a bigger gap between ceremony and reception? that way youre not rushed for photos and can still make cocktail hour!!

My FH and I are doing things kinda different. We booked a hotel for the night prior to our wedding and spending the time relaxing and going for a spa night. Then in the morning we will go our separate ways until the ceremony, so we will be seeing each other prior but not all dressed up until the ceremony.

I was in the same boat. Ultimately we decided on first look because photos and videos are important to me... doing a first look allows us to take pics in a different place... allows for a special moment between the spouses to be and you get more time which means you will also be able to enjoy cocktail hr without feeling rushed

We didn’t see each other until the ceremony. Even though I was a stress ball all throughout planning about having enough time during cocktail hour for the photos and not pushing the dinner further back I was pretty adamant about not having a first look.


To help with timing we did all photos that didn’t require both of us together before the ceremony. This left only the photos of both of us with extended family, the whole wedding party, and photos of us alone to be done during the 1 hour and 15 minute long cocktail hour.
We ended up doing it so it’s possible!!
Organization is key though. Since I was so paranoid about timing I sent our photographers a list of all the photos we wanted with some photos of specific shots we wanted and where we wanted them taken. We also have our photographers a list of the names of all the people needed for the extended family shots so they could call out names of who we needed. For the extended family shots we would have a runner gather who we needed for the next photo while we were taking one so we always had people ‘on deck’ to come right in and pose with us as soon as one photo ended. It also helped that all our photos were taken right outside the venue or in the lobby so no time was eaten up for travel. Since our photographers knew what photos we wanted we could go right from one pose to the next fairly quickly.
I will say that we were both very emotional, me especially, during the ceremony. We would have still been somewhat emotional had we seen each other before, but I don’t think we would have been as emotional. Yes, I was a blubbering mess and our ceremony photos show that, but I had multiple people say that our ceremony was so touching and was the most emotional one they’d seen. My blubbering added to their experience of the ceremony.
This is the first touch photo that Rayanne mentioned:

I understand how your FH feels. I would love to go to my cocktail hour, but that's the whole reason behind cocktail hour. I have been with my FH for almost seven years and I still want to only see him at the ceremony because I want to experience all the lovely emotions that come with the whole ceremony. Seeing him standing there and knowing we will spend the rest of our lives together. That's special and I cant wait to see the pictures of him when I walk out for the first time. We will not be seeing each other after the morning.

Thank you so much for your input everyone! I really appreciate it I think we will just wait until the ceremony since it is very important to hubby And I'm sure we will have lots of amazing photos throughout the day/evening. Thanks again!

I get where you are coming from and I even did a first look - but the real question is whether you are having a cocktail hour or not? We didn't, so it made sense to get most of the pictures if not all of them out of the way prior to guests being in the way. If we had had a cocktail hour I would have only done a first touch and then saved it for the aisle. For all photo's I would say a good couple hours would be best though... so unless you have the cocktail hour as well as time for them to get seated... first look is a saving grace for that. Would have loved to had gotten more pics of us with our family :/ Oh well! We can do that at future Christmas' with maybe even babies eventually!!

FH and I will be doing a first look. The reasoning behind it for me was that I know I will be a blubbering mess coming down the aisle and I really don't want that to be the first thing FH sees😅 vanity aside! I feel like it will take a certain amount of pressure off too. We're both very anxious people, so seeing each other before the big show and able to comfort and give each other words of encouragement will help calm us.

If FH was adamant about waiting to see me at the ceremony then I probably would have let him have that though. Like Amelia said, the groom doesn't always voice their opinions where weddings are concerned. So for him to be so forthcoming about it, it must mean a lot to him. But I'm going to play devil's advocate, and say that you still get the moment of awe no matter what, whether it's at the first look or the ceremony. So if that's specifically what he's thinking about then you're still not missing out on that particular photo/moment.

I'm definitely doing the first look. However, we have been together for many years and have children together. Our wedding will be in February so if I want any natural light we'll have to get our pictures done early and like you I want to enjoy our cocktail hour. We paid for a huge antipasto display and there is no way I'm missing out on that lol. I want our ceremony to lead straight into our reception since half of the wedding guests will be from out of town.
If my FH totally opposed doing a first look I don't think we would do it. Have you thought of a first touch photo? Caitlyn did one and she got a really sweet picture of the two of them on opposite sides of a door.

We had a very limited choice with this because of how our venue is booked, so it was either first look or photos during our entire cocktail hour when the sun is setting already OR pay double to have it our ceremony earlier and do photos before cocktails like the traditional way. Anyway.

Neither of us gave it much thought - we were always just okay with the first look. I don't really understand how it's is that much different then seeing eachother for the first time in the ceremony IMO. Outside of it being the "traditional" way its done. Your still going to get that AH moment either way, and the plus side of a first look is that you and FH will have that moment entirely to yourselves vs sharing it with all your guests.

I do agree with Amelia though - if he is being vocal about it then he probably cares about it alot so maybe let him have this one. Have you shown him examples of first look photos? That helped convince a few of my people who had serious issues with us doing a first look.

The dilemma of family photos in the reception hall being crammed can be an easy fix if you don't open the doors until you have left the hall and the family goes out in the hallway to join the others after the photos. Take as long as you need to get the photos out of the way to make sure its done that time if the same dress is being worn.

A lot of times after the wedding within our family weddings, we just have family and group photos done and that's it. Reception is just to have everyone enjoy and the couple taking the shots.

First look pictures can be done if you feel the time is there before the ceremony. Every couple knows what's best to do based on views together.

Some couples find tradition is the way to go since first look isn't the way for them. It can also come from the way they see their views of family weddings or personal view to wait for the bride at the alter.

I'm totally on your side. I want the first look photos so we can get out photos done before the guests arrive and then enjoy mingling with them and getting a few snaps with friends and family as they first see us.


If it's that important to your FH I would let him win. Guys don't seem to be as vocal about wedding stuff so when they are it's usually really important to them.
As far as how much time you'll need, I would ask your photographer. You can give them a list of shots you need to get and they will know from experience how long you'll need. I would ask your mom and future MIL if they have any shots for the list too (or anyone whos opinion matters to you). Are you doing shots with family or the wedding party at that time too? If that's the case maybe get as many of just the girls and just the guys before to cut a little time off.
If you're getting ready where the food will be you could ask for some of the apps from cocktail hour to come to you while you're getting ready. That way you won't miss them!