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Casey
Frequent user November 2018 Alberta

finally some help from fh

Casey, on December 31, 2017 at 04:19 Posted in Living together 0 20
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Came into this lovely community tonight to start this thread and I see so much different excitement going on, so I responded to a few posts. I just firstly want to say that the group of ladies and gents here are so kind and helpful, I AM SO BLESSED to have found this app where people are so positive and fun loving through this whole process! It has been such an uplifting experience. I TRULY HOPE all of you find your recommendations and help, good advice and support from members from your posts, sometimes it's overwhelming planning or you have things on your mind and these people are amazing with responses, much LOVE 🤘❤

NOW THAT BEING SAID.. my dear dear future husband has been the opposite 😂
I laugh now because the poor guy just wants his wallet to stay intact and that's all he cares about 😉
Jokes aside.. over the holidays I have been handing out wedding invitations to our family and friends as we run into meeting them. It's been this great feeling of their reactions to our invites and I think FH is now getting more excited as well. For EX. We We went to Canadian Tire and bought 4 prelit branch trees for our decor that I want around the alter and this is the FIRST TIME he has been very involved from determining the sizes, showed him at home after and he was very kissy, lovey dovey, where as before he was like "whatever babe just pick something"

Long story short he has really helped me out these past few weeks finding what we want and I am overly appreciative that he has the feedback!

20 Comments

Latest activity by Natalie, on November 5, 2018 at 06:25
  • Natalie
    Devoted July 2020 Ontario
    Natalie ·
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    My fiancé is a groomzilla. He does most of the talking and planning and clears it with me.

    He wants a six foot cake and has made that very clear to our baker. He wants fireworks to be set off outside after the toast. He’s fucking fantastic and aside from having to just reel him in every so often (I stopped at ice sculpture name carvings) he’s been killing this planning process. I on the other hand, am more like your husband I guess. I worry about how much this going to cost us, even if he’s fronting most of it. I worry about not being able to get the house we want thereafter and being in a hole. AliExpress has been AMAZING for us in terms of the little decor details - girl if you want branches they got em - and I’ve been able to save so much money buy finding alternatives, vases, etc. In bulk order. But for someone like me who’s indecisive this is such a massive amount of decisions for me and I generally just shut down. It can be overwhelming and it’s not that I’m not looking forward to it or in love with him, it’s just so much. So he comes to me with specific options on things he knows I want to be decision maker for and does the rest.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    This site is amazing as to how much help and guidance in this community.

    It's true husbands or FH don't get as excited in the beginning. Eventually in time, they start to feel part of the sharing process and that should be a great feeling to have inside.

    My husband at the time, felt he didn't have to pay for anything because he didn't have anything to give me. Towards the few months before the day, he decided to pay for the rings and officiant.

    I know my husband fought me for most of the things and had to get his opinions on invitation card, wedding bands and his outfit. Accessories to match his outfit was hand picked by me.

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  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    I have to agree! I LOVE this site! Coming together with a bunch of people going through all the feelings and struggles that I am is GREAT! I can talk to so many people about anything wedding related (I feel like I have been annoying my friends hahaha!)

    My fiance is very much NOT A PLANNER which has made things tricky only at a few times! I am a planner so I'm GOOD! But I make sure I get his opinions on everything! Nothing is decided without him! Just all of the research and organization of options is done and then presented to him (in legit excel document style for ease haha!)

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  • Jessica
    Curious July 2020 New Brunswick
    Jessica ·
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    I find it very difficult to plan my wedding...feel like man thinks.they dont have anything to do after they ask a woman to get married !!!! Feel like i have to do everything all by myself...😟
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  • Casey
    Frequent user November 2018 Alberta
    Casey ·
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    It's still pulling teeth lol like I get that the day is for the bride but I don't want him to feel like I'm pushing all My wants over his - it is a relationship, it is a team effort

    After talking and going over what needs to be done - which I'm sure he will end up asking me questions 😉 I now have him getting all legal documents (marriage license, name change, liquor license) he's figuring out cake cause I don't care for sweets lol has also to charge of the dj and his suit rentals for the him and our kids so he has his jobs - plus at least a caveman grunt on things I just need as a confirmation o made the right choice lol
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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    Agreed about the love from the community! This place is actually amazing when it comes to advice on planning and any other struggles that come with planning a wedding.

    Wonderful to hear that your FH is getting excited! Mine’s not the excitable type so it makes me happy to hear someone’s FH is getting into things lol ☺️
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  • Valérie
    VIP September 2019 Quebec
    Valérie ·
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    We got our contract for the venue last week and filling it out with my FH felt like pulling teeth. He kept watching TV, making jokes and having me repeat every single question. I lost it that day, I'm not going to lie. I left the unfinished contract and went for a walk.

    Later that day, he took me out for dinner and apologized. He told me that he really wants to help, but immediately feels overwhelmed when I ask him about what type of food or bar we should have at our wedding. Him joking was his way of "having fun with it", but he now understands how it wasn't the best of ideas.

    He's now in charge of planning the Honeymoon and is mentally prepared to answer any questions/decisions I might have/need about certain details.

    I'm just glad we were able to talk about it!



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  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    Definitely do the glittery horse thing!Smiley xd
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  • Lor
    Frequent user August 2018 Ontario
    Lor ·
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    He was only involved for the color scheme, venue, groomsmen and confirmation on prices. I only lucked out that he designed the wedding invitations. Other than that ive been trying to organize the whole thing myself. which to be honest is ok, im the better planner out of the two of us anyway. lol

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  • Candace
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Candace ·
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    It's brutal, I have started asking the best man for his opinion instead of my fiance's and if the BM is not sure then he forces an answer out of my fiance. which surprisingly does not count as "nagging" unlike when I ask him lol

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  • Casey
    Frequent user November 2018 Alberta
    Casey ·
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    Oh good you get what I call the "Caveman Grunts" 😂 Those wonderful noises that technically sound the same so you kinda just guess if it was a yes or no...
    My MOH has asked me 6 times if he has decided to do all Plum or sage and plum in his suits (cause she wants to look at dresses and coordinate colours) every time I'm like "what? Approved what?" She's like the Purple only? "Oh... no... he's still grunting at colours" and she gets it lol
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  • Casey
    Frequent user November 2018 Alberta
    Casey ·
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    We plan and get stressed out, then hope our partner with ease the stress with their opinion, which is non existent and makes us more stressed out lol
    Can't remember what it was but I said I was going to order something and he went "ya but I don't like those, this would be better" and I'm like well thanks for the heads up before I ordered 500 of them lol The first time I ask you, speak up dude! 😒😖😧🙄
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  • Casey
    Frequent user November 2018 Alberta
    Casey ·
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    So funny "need to see the evidence in reality to connect with something" just totally reminds me of having kids 😆 Men just don't have the same excitement until it's in their face 😉
    I am the details person, I enjoy planning and getting what I want 😋 It was just annoying at first when I would narrow down for ex. 2 venues or catering and he would have no opinion at all on 2 very different things and I'm going "really? I might as well rent a white horse and put glitter all over it and ride it right down the aisle since you don't care" 😂
    I've been able to customize quite a bit, just need a second opinion everyone in a while 😊
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  • Tatiana
    Expert April 2018 Ontario
    Tatiana ·
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    Glad to hear Casey, it's lovely when both of you are involved and picking little things together, it just makes it more real that the big day is coming and excitement builds.

    This group is really awesome, sometimes you just need a rant and people here always willing to read and share their support.

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  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    I agree with everything you said about this community! So much support and advice and love shared! It was a real help when I was planning my wedding for sure.

    My husband is a great planner and loves details so he was always involved from the start. He was super helpful with contacting vendors, making choices about invites, tables etc. It was great having someone who was so involved and willing from the start. I'm glad to hear that your FH is coming around! I find that sometimes men really need to see the evidence in reality to connect with something.

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  • Joey
    WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland
    Joey ·
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    First of all, thanks so much for the lovely words about this community! I totally agree this is a fantastic community of fantastic people, and I'm so glad you are feeling supported and loved here Smiley heart

    I also sympathize, I got really nervous sometimes when I was planning and my DH didn't seem to have an opinion about what I was choosing, I didn't want the wedding to be all my style and none of his. It was hard to trust that he really had no opinion on some things, but I was excited when he would get involved with others. We split our tasks so he was involved with things he cared most about (color scheme, menu, music, suits...) and I took on things he didn't have an opinion on (favors, ceremony music, photos, timeline...). That was also a great way to split up tasks so neither of us got overwhelmed.

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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
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    My fiance always gets this glazed look in his eyes when I talk details! He is not a details guy. He will say his input but for the most part he says its up to me. He has taken initiative on the wedding website and said he is more interested in the logistics of the day. I think the wedding is more for the bride for the most part. At least, almost every friend has said the same thing!
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  • Holly
    Expert June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    I've been so lucky that my fiance has been super involved so far. We have been making all the decisions together and at times he does say "whatever you want/like" but he's realized that I don't take that as an answer so he gives me genuine feedback now lol but he is most excited to book catering So I think once that's done he might be done lol
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  • Candace
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Candace ·
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    I am still waiting for my fiance to get excited about the planning and everything. He will give me opinions but they are usually like an approving or disproving sound and that is it. Thank goodness for my bridal party Smiley tongue

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  • Rebecca
    Frequent user October 2018 Ontario
    Rebecca ·
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    Girl! My fiancé is the EXACT same way lol so I’m with you on this one! I’m so glad he’s helping and showing interest, gotta try and get mine to do the same lol. Talking about tablecloths with him the other day was so painful.. haha some guys don’t care about those details I guess. It could be worse.. they could care about every little thing and make it harder 🤷🏻‍♀️
    Best of luck to you.. and know you’re not alone lol!
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