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Becky
VIP September 2019 Ontario

fh hasn’t picked groomsmen yet!

Becky, on May 23, 2018 at 22:20 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 9
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I want to do an engagement party and he was all for it, picked a date and all that. Decided this summer August 11th and I told him he would need to figure out groomsmen. He went into a panick and doesn’t want party now because he wants more time to choose them. He’s type of guy to bottle things up and I don’t want to push too much regarding it. I told him he had to September originally and now saying need to figure out in the next month who. I want our family’s to spend more time together to get to know each other and be nice if wedding party could do but can’t do that if he doesn’t decide. How to I motivate him without pushing? I think he wants a childhood best friend but he lives farther away like hours away still comes home once while but nervous to ask and others well nervous to hurt feelings when he only chooses certain people.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Becky, on June 4, 2018 at 16:21
  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    He's picked them!! yay Smiley smile all has worked out

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  • B
    Devoted September 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    Yes. Unfortunately, My FH is the same way. He freaked when I told him he had to pick a best man and Groomsman because he “Doesn’t want to leave anyone out.” I told him “Tough,” If you don’t pick them, I’ll pick them for you but you can’t complain about who I pick. It’s not a competition about who likes who “best” it’s about who’s “Best” for the job.
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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    Glad you can relate and yes some won’t be able to attend which is fine with me. I’m hoping he asks by September
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I feel the same way, I have my side of the party but he doesn't yet, although he knows who he will ask. Everyone in our party lives far away from us so I can see most might not being able to attend our August engagement party, which is totally okay since they don't need to be in attendance for the engagement party. I'm hoping he'll ask his party by October, which will be a year out, so they can plan/get their attire sorted out.

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    Thanks everyone! Really appreciate it, a few people on my side thought he should have it as they thoght they should help but really we have it all figured out and don’t think he needs them.
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  • Jessica
    Super March 2018 Ontario
    Jessica ·
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    We had an engagement party about 2 weeks after we got engaged. While I already had a good idea who was going to be in my wedding party, all of them lived out of town where the party was being held, so it was just my fiance and me along with my parents and family (my parents hosted!).

    While it is nice to have some of your bridal party there, it certainly isn't a requirement.

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  • Jen
    VIP June 2018 Ontario
    Jen ·
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    I agree with the previous posts.. you don't need to pick out your party to have a party!

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  • Sheilah
    Frequent user August 2019 Ontario
    Sheilah ·
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    Agreed. You definitely don't need your bridal party, or really any solid details about your wedding, set for an engagement party. Just let him relax for a bit. You're a long way out from the actual wedding, give him time.
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  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
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    You don’t need to have your wedding party figured out to have an engagement party. It’s a party to celebrate that you are engaged and the families to meet. Don’t push him or he will start to feel overwhelmed and start resenting the wedding. You don’t want that.

    Give him a deadline to pick people in order to get outfits ordered etc. That’s it. Don’t make it a requirement of having a party. Cause it’s not.
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