Are wedding favours an expected courtesy? Or is it more of an individual decision? As I’ll have international guests I can’t do anything like honey/jam, and my guests have a variety of food allergies so baking is out lol. Just contemplating whether they’re necessary as they do add up quickly!
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Right!? I am going to do that and forward him some posts about the flavours. It's funny because I also asked him about what the favours were for the last couple weddings we went to (one where he was actually in the wedding party) and he couldn't even remember. Thank you for the advice!
Maybe you can show your fiancé a few articles about how favours are not necessary and a lot of couples choose not to do them at all anymore? Or show him this thread? It sounds like he feels they are something that's expected and he thinks people will be disappointed if there's nothing.
I can say from my own experience that I always forget my favour and most of the time it's not even something I want or will use, unless it's food. But even sometimes when it's food I forget that too. From what I've seen on this forum, most people also forget them or don't think they're necessary. I don't know, maybe it's a generational thing and all of our older family members are really offended that we haven't given them favours haha! But if so I'm glad it's an attitude that's changing because a lot of the time they can be really wasteful.
I also just can't imagine anyone would be upset you donated a small amount to an animal shelter instead of spending a few hundred dollars on a trinket. Favours are not a right for someone who attends a wedding so you're absolutely not forcing them into a donation. Rather it's money you and your fiancé have chosen to donate instead of spending money on a part of your wedding.
I really REALLY don't want to do favours, I think they're pointless, no one notices or takes them, and then you're left with all this wasted money on items not used. My idea was to instead do a small donation to an animal shelter (we have adopted shelter pets) so would be near and dear cause, and would actually go to use/benefit something. But when I brought it up with my fiance he shot it down saying "you can't do a forced donation". I'm sure no one would complain that money went to an animal shelter instead of getting a terrible little candle, but I digress.
Now trying to come up with other idea (on the cheap) because I absolutely refuse to spend a lot on these things that I see as a waste. I came across the idea of a firestarter (pinecone with I think wax on the top, to start campfires etc easily) and thought that could be a low cost idea. Also saw a birdfeeder idea where you have a heart shape and then cover it in birdseed and attach a rope to hang it, also low cost and actually useful. I just hate the idea of having all these things left behind, I truly believe people don't get an F about favours anymore
We opted not to do party favours because they’re not significant to the guests. I’ve been to maybe 10-15 weddings in my life and I’ve only had 1 memorable gift, which was a nice homemade chicken rub spice. It was completely practical which I appreciated.
We opted to hire a mellow jazz singer and trio for the cocktail hour, along with an extra special 3 course meal and open bar all night. We felt that our guests would enjoy the live music and making memories at our wedding than a little $5 item. Not to say favours are random or not valued but it didn’t have much significance to us as the couple. It’s really up to the discretion of the bride & groom
Favours are a choice that is up to the couple and cultural decision. I know I have seen favours done for most Indian weddings as my eldest brother did as well. We did for sure as it would be something useful which my parents do use for Indian New Year and as décor at home. Some cousins didn't do them as their choice seeing it wouldn't be necessary. I have seen Thank You cards with donations to charity of the couples choice they support as gifts instead.
I say nay. The only people in my life who actually cared about them are the ones obsessed with decorating their space a certain way. Every other instance, the couples did it out of what they thought were obligation (who then told us not to do it) and some guests would be mildly amused by them and others left them behind.
Out of the 10+ weddings I've attended, only one favour was actually good because it was not printed with the couple's names and date, nor is it something that is inedible yet will rot (ie plant-based trinkets).
If you're doing a photo booth, I would count that as your favour.
I was back and forth on this since my fiancé culture they do and mine we don’t. So to meet in the middle we decided to donate to the Diabetes Canada which impacted his side of the family and mine ☺️. We’re extremely happy to go with this route!
Thanks everyone for your insight! I’m feeling far more comfortable with ditching favours now I totally agree that the money would be better spent on experiences with your loved ones. Plus, the last thing I want is to order a bunch of unwanted stuff that will just wind up in a landfill!
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That is an absolutely beautiful idea. So sorry for your loss
We were originally planning to provide wedding favors but now we'd like to make a donation in lieu of that to honour the memory of someone we loved and will always love very much who passed away last March when all this madness began. Our way of including him in the wedding.
We are doing favours solely because it’s included in our venue fee (they have bees on site and make their own honey). My finance is also British and I think international guests can take honey home?! When we’ve travelled from Italy or Sicily back to London we brought honey in our carry on no issue!
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That’s good to hear - thank you! In England they certainly aren’t custom so my mum is fully opposed to them, but I also don’t want to offend anyone by leaving them out if they’re expected!
Do you think a personalized fridge magnet would constitute a useable favour?
Unless they're food related, many will be left behind/forgotten in most cases. So I personally do not think they're a necessary expense and I don't feel jilted at all if I go to a wedding and don't get a favour. But one wedding that I went to had beautiful wine stoppers as their favours and I absolutely love mine. I imagine they were quite expensive though for a favour. So if you go with doing them then think of something that people will actually use.