Family troubles

Well people can certainly be rude and it seems that weddings bring out the worst in some. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this but keep in mind that it is YOUR wedding and whatever you choose to do is absolutely fine. Make sure to stand your ground and keep your vision alive.

I’m sorry you have this negativity headed your way. I’ve learned very quickly that everyone has their opinions about how things should be done and whatnot regarding my wedding and that it’s impossible to please everyone. Stick to your guns with your guest list. I’m envious that you get to enjoy an intimate wedding!

View quoted message Thanks Brittany!!

View quoted message Thanks Alessia!!

"not a real wedding"...?? My fiance and I literally considered going on February 14th to the steps of the Vancouver Art Gallery, because they do free weddings on the steps for any couple that walks up with a marriage license... haha. STRESS FREE!

A real wedding is one where two people exchange vows to share their lives together, with a couple legal obligations of an officiant and some witnesses... Anything else is 100% extra and should be COMPLETELY your choice, and your choice alone. It's about the 2 of you. That's it.

The other ladies are right.... Anyone who truly loves you will be happy with whatever you do. Anything else is jealousy or pettiness that they aren't getting to go to essentially a free party (because I don't see gifts as a balance to the cost of a wedding).

Honestly, I wanted something bigger (100ish people), and fortunately my parents provided a budget to do that, but no one should EVER be shamed for choosing what's right for them on their big day.

Wow, I'm sorry you have to deal with this! To be honest, people should keep their comments to themselves. It's your day and you decide who is there to share it with you.

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Agreed!! The sad truth

View quoted message Thank you Valérie!

You are totally right. If anything more is said I will speak up. My poor mom was the one who dealt with the brunt of comments from our family.

View quoted message Family- you don’t get to choose them!

I'm so so sorry that you have to deal with such jealousy, because that's what it is. They are jealous you won't be paying for them to come see you wed, feed them and potential buy them drinks.

Some people (family/friends) become so entitled when it comes to weddings: You have to invite everyone, you have to have an open bar, etc. They believe the superstar treatment must be bestowed upon them, when it should be all about both of you!

My adrenaline is rushing just reading your post because I'm so angry. I wish I could face these people head-on and calling them out on it. It's not about them, it's about you and your FH. If they can't respect your wishes and plans, then your choice of not inviting them is validated.

If you need to speak with them, I would simply tell explain either that it's a personal choice, budget or venue restrictions.

You two are going to have an amazing wedding, the one you both wanted. Don't let those comments affect you

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Of course, not a problem. I'm dealing with a lot of family issues on my end. So I'm brushing them off with vague comments, while behind the scenes I am losing my marbles haha

I agree with a lot of what the other girls have said.

People are ridiculous!! We are having a small wedding as well with just immediate family and some close friends. I know it can be difficult but try to block out the negative opinions of people. It seems like many seem to forget the purpose and meaning behind a wedding. It’s about you and your fiancé!!

The comments about it not heinf being a real wedding are just asinine. It’s not your job to carter to other people’s personal preferences or version of normal. Ultimately you do need to what makes you both happy!

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I know!! All they want is to be invited to a "free" party, but most caterers charge by the plate so it's x amount of dollars to add one person! Plus, if you don't want them there, you shouldn't feel pressured to invite. Courtney has a good point you only need you, your FH, and an officiant to have a real wedding!

View quoted message It can be so tricky! Especially with businesses seeing “wedding” attached and charging an arm and a leg!

View quoted message I don’t know a what I would do without you ladies!! ❤️❤️

View quoted message Thanks cherry!!

View quoted message It’s amazing how opinionated people get when it’s not their money!!

View quoted message That’s so true! My aunt always said “you should invite who knows your relationship and has known you as a couple” this particular family member has met my fiancé 2x and was less than friendly so WHY would I bring him?

View quoted message Haha very true!

View quoted message Thanks Jen!

View quoted message 100% agree!

View quoted message Thanks Michelle! You are right! That is the classy way of handling it instead of getting defensive!

View quoted message Thanks Jennifer!!

View quoted message Thanks Holly! It kind of stung a bit. Now that I’ve worked through it I’m glad I didn’t invite them!

I agree invite who you want to not who everyone else wants you too. I'm having a hard time with my guest list because I have a big family

Its amazing how this happy time can bring out the worst attitudes in people. Just remember this is what makes a real wedding:

1. You

2. The person you live

3. Someone to officially marry you

THATS IT! Who cares what so and so did, they aren't you. Try to ignore them and always feel free to lean on the great people in this community to vent to!

Don't let people's comments affected you. Even if you invited the whole town, there would always someone left out and would make comments. You can't please everyone. Stick to your guest numbers. It's your wedding and you can do anything you want. What matters is just the two of you.

My Fiance has hundreds of cousins, nieces, and nephew. He is related to half of the town and more. We stick to our guests list of 80. If someone is not invited, he/she is not invited. Make it simple.

A wedding is a wedding, no matter how much of the family is there. Just because you're blood related means you automatically get an invite?! Jeez. Your wedding is real, even if it was just the two of you there. Weddings should be the happiest time, but they bring out the worst in people because things aren't being done "their way" or the "traditional way".

Don't let it get to you! It's your day, your wedding! Every wedding is different whether its 20 people or 500!

If you want to keep it small and cost effective your extended family should respect that! If they are making complaints it doesn't sound like people I would want to celebrate with anyways.

People just don’t know how to be happy and I have had people say why aren’t we invited. Costs of a wedding are crazy and we don’t always see these people either. Yet they expect to get married. Don’t let people bring you down! This is a real wedding lol you are commiting to each other and have guests!

Weddings will always bring out the worst in people. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Try to let it roll off of your shoulders, even though I know it can be difficult.

I didn’t invite many family members. I believe that if you aren’t an active member in my life then you probably won’t get an invite. I invited those close to me who know me really well and I would much rather invite a friend with whom I have a strong relationship with then a cousin I haven’t spoke to in 6 years.