Family style dinner or plated?

I've attended a wedding where it was family style and the décor was very rustic.

I've had family style where the food was incredible so it was nice to be able to take more of something I liked. Tables were round and family is mostly short so hair in the food wasn't a problem.

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Thanks Rachael! good point about the hair in the food. Smaller tables (10 people max), and round table (no room for the harvest style unfortunately).

I haven't eaten family-style before, but I imagine it could be nice for a very intimate setting if you're having a wedding with your closest family. I don't think it would be a great option for a big wedding because it poses the risk of a hair falling into the food, etc.

I have eaten family style at a dinner show before, I found it a bit weird. You're always afraid of taking too much or knocking elbows... Some people like it though! We're doing buffet.

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Kelly! Thanks! That was my thought as well. I like the choices of buffet, but sitting down. and they're at small tables, no strangers here.

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Tara! I love that! Thank you for the idea!

We are doing family style! Just love the idea that people can choose what they want and have to talk to the people they are sitting beside. We are also doing 3 long tables... with 10 people on each side (20 per table).

I LOVE family style - it's my favourite serving style. The ONLY issue with this one is space - you need to make sure you have enough room on the table to keep the dishes there. You'll want a smaller centrepiece or something that can be moved out of the way easily. I would have done family style if it were an option at my venue, but we are doing a buffet.

I went to a wedding that had family style service- it worked out well and I liked that we could choose what we wanted- there was tons of food, so people weren’t worried about taking too much. If you’re skimpy, people may feel uncomfortable- no one wants to look greedy. I was the sole vegetarian out of about 150 people, so they brought me my own entree, which was very thoughtful of the couple.

We had a plated meal, but they brought out potatoes in big casserole dishes (and would refill them if they ran out)- I thought it was strange to serve something family style in addition to plated courses, but the guests thought it was great.

We are doing plated, which as a personal preference prefer over family style. I have been to weddings that have done plated, buffet, and family. I found that a buffet style with a lot of guests took some time, as you can only send so many tables up at a time. Then you may have some guests who are so overwhelmed because everything looks so good that they can’t decide what to try, which then holds other people up. So by the time the last table is getting their food and coming to sit down earlier tables may be going up to try other food they didn’t put on their plate. Family style I found awkward dishes being passed to you everyone watching to see how much you are going to take, if you are going to leave any for them the first time around. Then the odd person who doesn’t eat a certain food passed around and they are waiting for you to take that dish while you are carefully trying to put food from the dish you have, and they are getting annoyed because they have to wait. As a guest it was stressful!

We are doing family style. I actually prefer it lol. I've been to a couple weddings with it. It is great because you have choices that you cant have with plated... like do I want chicken or beef next month how do I know. Family style, don't worry about it have both if you want. My tables are set up only 8 people per table so it isn't awkward at all in my opinion. If you have those long tables food going up and down would be a problem I'm thinking. I won't do buffet because of older guests. They cant hold a plate and walk. Sometimes with plated I'm still hungry lol. At least with family style they will refill the plate.

Family style is awesome! Allows everyone at the table to become more involved with the meal and gets everyone talking

We're doing family style! We've actually never done it before, so we have no idea! Our caterers actually specialize in it, and they convinced us to go that route. Its kinda the best of both worlds: all the choice of a buffet, but still served to the tables. Bonuses are that there's not as much waiting, and its a bit more conversational at the tables.

In terms of table decor, we were told to do whatever we wanted, and they would make it work. I would say run your ideas by your caterer just to be sure though. Also, if it helps, they're serving it in 2 courses: salads first, then they clear, then the main course. So its not super cluttered on the tables.

We are doing a mix!

Our courses are Italian styled (aperitivo, primo, secondo e contorno, insalata, fromagge e frutta, coffe, dolce) so the aperitivo will be family style shared appetizer platters. The secondo e contorno (skipping primo) will be plated, and the insalata and fromagge e frutta will both be family style. This allows for people to take and try and share what they like and avoid that which they don’t, but also to have the formality of plated food.

I'd go with plated or buffet over family style - it just seems awkward asking for strangers to pass you food and it clutters up the tables.

If mobility issues are a worry for you, I'd go with plated

I like family style. The ones I’ve been to you are able to ask for more so I would confirm that they bring seconds. They also cleared the empty dishes fairly quickly.

I think I would prefer either plated or buffet. When you do family style, I feel like they don’t bring out enough food to feed everyone at the table. So a few people could end up with no food if they are last to get the plates.
Also with family style, there is never enough room on the table, and it’s super crowded!

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Thanks Melanie! Yes, I have a few people who have mobility issues, hence why I am wavering between the family style and plated, then it feels like buffet, but no walking involved.

Family style is great! I have attended many events with this style. But it can be a little awkward with people you don’t know. Buffet is also a great option, it hasn’t takes longer to get everyone eating. Dinner could be like a 2 hour event. Either are good choices.

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Good call. Thanks Meaghan!

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Thanks Madisyn. Much appreciated

Chiming in with the others, I prefer plates or buffet to family style. I find family style to feel very awkward and requests to pass platters and trying to find a place to put down the platters can inhibit real conversation.

I just went to a family style wedding this summer, and to be honest, I didn't love it. The food came out cold, which is likely easily avoided. But I personally, didn't enjoy sharing dishes with 20ish people I've never met before. It was also awkward to keep passing the plates back and forth, asking for more, etc.

I would always prefer a plated meal. I just think it's nice to have your own servings of food! A buffet is probably a happy medium here if you're looking for something other than plated.

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Thanks Kelsie! so helpful. good point. alright, leaning towards plated or buffet now. Thanks

My FSIL had family style for her wedding. Personally, I always prefer plated but family style didn’t pose any problems per se.

its awkward to shout down the table and ask for whatever you’re trying to get more of but other than that, it was fine.

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Good call. Make it easier on the servers. Thanks Becky!

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Thanks Tori! love the insight. it's a pretty small wedding, and most people will be comfortable, but that is a good point, some may not be. Thanks!

I haven't seen the family style done before- I feel like it would be too much on a table depending on how many people you have per table. I would rather plated or buffet. It would be smoother for the servers to know what ran out and when or if needs more.

I've been to a family style before and it's not my preference.

It takes up lots of room and if you are sitting with people you don't really know or are comfortable with you feel awkward taking food because are you taking too much? Want to make sure there is enough for everybody!

I prefer buffet - that's what I will be having at my wedding.