Etiquette for paying friends/friends for services

Ive heard some horror stories about friends gifting things. but if you trust them and their work then thats fine. you could give them a small tip and a really nice thank you card or a gc or something.

View quoted message Thanks everyone for your thoughts on this!

View quoted message I 100% agree with DrB on all points.

Depends on the services I guess. A friend of mine is making my wedding dress & I am paying her the cost of the dress + tip, she also gave me a really good price for it. My mom is making our cake & we’re just paying for the materials & ingredients. My godfather is performing the ceremony, we won’t be paying him but we will be giving him a thank you gift. I would also be cautious when asking for favors from people without the incentive of payment or other benefits for them.

I would caution you to take a good, long look at how you are coming by these gifts. I know of one bride that was “gifted” several services for her wedding- she came by these gifts by hinting to talented friends and family about her low budget and they ended up gifting their services.


Her photographer (a cousin) refused to give her the wedding photos. A friend that agreed to tend bar didn’t show up. Her family made all of the food and missed getting photos taken. Everything comes at a cost.
Personally, if you feel that you are not taking advantage of their generosity, then a thank you card would suffice. Keep in mind, however, that you get what you pay for- no looking a gift horse in the mouth.

I'm designing a friend's invitations for her wedding in August 2020. I told her that I'm doing it as a gift and I don't expect anything in return. I would just write a thank you card IMO

This is a generous gift from all your friends doing these for you. Thank you card with a gift given to them would be a nice return to show your appreciation.

I know my moms sister family is blessed with a DJ and entertainer. Any family member getting married, they provide the service at no charge. This family is growing larger by the year and about 90 with this recent wedding attended.