Engagement Ring of Your Dreams

This is super tough. And you'll probably get people saying that you should just love it because its from him, or others will tell you to speak up since you'll be the one wearing it forever.

I also didn't love the ring my fiance chose for me.

It wasn't easy to tell him (actually it was super hard). We weren't able to exchange the ring, and the buy back rate the jeweler offered was almost insulting, so it didn't feel like we had many options. When we chose our wedding bands, we actually got a different setting for my engagement ring. It still not what I would have chosen. But its better, and the wedding band helps with the overall look. I still don't LOVE it, but it was a compromise.

Feelings will be hurt no matter how you go about it. If I could go back in time and insist on picking it out with him I would.

I mean you could sell your ring and then buy the one you want. but i would for sure speak with him!

It's for sure worth talking to him - at very minimum you could try and sell it if he can't return it?

I think if you do mention it you should do it sooner rather than later. He might be a little hurt (picking out a ring caused my fiance a lot of stress!) But hopefully he will value your honesty and openness.


Another option is to wait until an anniversary and ask for an upgraded diamond for your gift, especially if you like the ring and just want a larger stone. Our jeweler has an option to trade up your ring at any time, and you put the amount of the first ring towards the new ring.

I was adamant that I did not need to pre pick out the ring and that I would love whatever my boyfriend got me. But when my FH proposed, I immediately did not like the ring at all and I felt horrible! But he knows me well and could tell something was wrong, so a little while after our romantic sleigh ride in the mountains, he straight asked me about the ring and I just burst out crying, I felt so bad. I just apparently had pictured a pear shaped stone every time I thought about the ring but did not convey that message well. So when he proposed with a circle cut, I immediately knew I did not want to wear that for the rest of my life. But then I told him, he was relieved that I was honest and we went to the shop the next week, designed a ring together and now I have the ring of my dreams. The communication made me feel like we have a strong relationship and it all worked out. That being said, it is a delicate situation and should be handled with care and soon as possible.

My FH has always told me that he wants to upgrade my ring in 5/10 years. I love it but actually I think he wanted to “do better”. I would be delicate with how you tell him you are interested in another ring because he might take it as “I want an upgrade/better ring” but that’s not what it sounds like you mean. Again in my case my FH also showed me 3 options and got my opinions and he went with one of those options, I said I liked all 3 which was true but there was one that stood out but not enough to get into an argument over. Hope that makes sense. Bottom line - tell him but work with him and maybe find out why he choose what he choose maybe he was like my guy and really wanted to purpose sooner rather than later but had intentions of getting a “better ring”

View quoted message It was not sized but fits perfectly. I wan to see if he can exchange it before I speak to him. If he can't exchange it, I will not say anything.

View quoted message That sounds really sweet. With all honesty, ths style of the ring is a little different than what I would have wanted but it is very pretty. The center stone is a half carat which seems a little small. This is only because I already own diamond earrings that are a half carat each. But if I mention to him, I would just say the style to exchange and it will have a 1 ct center diamond. I would never tell him the center stone should be bigger because I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings.

Yeah I agree with Genevieve, just be straight with him now rather than later, which you should be able to do if you're getting married to him. It's something that you'll be wearing for the rest of your life, so it should be something that you'll love 50+ years down the road. But who knows, the more you wear the one he got you the more you may come to love it. My FH chose a ring that I never would've chosen for myself, but the fact that it was all him gave it more meaning in a way. And now I'm so in love with it that I wouldn't dream of exchanging it.

Has your ring been sized? If it hasn’t, he can return the ring (as long as it wasn’t a custom or super on sale one) and get a refund. You may want to explain your feelings about the ring sooner rather than later so he doesn’t have a hard time exchanging it.