Emotional Briding

It was kind of sad but I knew it had to be done. I had a few friends from high school still that I don't like hanging out with but was more so doing it because I felt obligated to. Over the past 6-10 months I have been trying to distance myself from them and talk less so that it won't be a shock when they aren't invited to the wedding.

I feel bad but I've got to trim the fat and they aren't friends that I want for life. It really made me take a look at who is and isn't important to me.

Sorry I pressed enter before finishing. I have friends like that and it’s annoying to depend on them for ANYTHING. Let alone my big day. I’d tell her. For sure. And let her know that honestly, it’s not about you being mad, it’s about you feeling secure in knowing you can depend on the people there and those people want to be there. Her typing weeks after you’ve asked a question and not looking for a dress obviously means she’s “really busy” and doesn’t have time to take this on.

View quoted message I would too! And she’s lucky you’ve even given her so many chances. I’d definitely count her out as a bridesmaid; I have friends like

View quoted message I’m sorry you’re going through that. It’s a bit frustrating, isn’t it? I hope your other BM are more helpful and attentive.

I simply asked my BM (the one who is MIA) if she still wanted to be a bridesmaid. I worded it eloquently and was sure to stress the most important thing is for her to enjoy herself and celebrate alongside me on the big day. I told her I know how much of a commitment it is and I know how busy she is. BUT I offered her an out. Two and half weeks later, she responded, “OF COURSE I want to be a bridesmaid’
ive left it at that. I had a deadline for the dresses to be purchased, she hasn’t even gotten back to me since 3 weeks ago so I’m not even bothering anymore.

I dont want to put my expectations of a BM onto her bc that’s unfair. She’s doesn’t owe me anything really. From a friendship standpoint, I’m hurt. It’s beyond the BM situation, at this stage, I feel pathetic trying constantly to connect with her.

View quoted message I can totally relate to this. One of my BM lives in Guelph; which isn’t that far at all from Toronto. But she will never call me. Never picks up the phone. I sent her my dress pictures and asked for her thoughts and she said “wow that’s a really nice dress” ... there was three dresses, not one. I got more feedback from my weddingwire post! I’m wondering if she’s worth keeping in the bridal party; because if I get a no show on the day of that’s the end of our friendship. I just hope that your BM comes to her senses; she’s lucky she gets an easy ride where she doesn’t have any DIY crafts or events to plan and just shows up in a dress to eat and party. At least you can text back. I’d tell her how you feel, because I’m a week away from really telling my BM how I feel. Lol.

I’m totally going through this! My list started at 131 and we’re down to 91.

View quoted message Yeah it can be really hard. Ive had to cut friends out before because they were terrible for me. You have to have your own best interest in mind.

View quoted message Well done. It’s taken me years to get to that point. My BM is treating me quite poorly lately and I’m not mad, just sad. It’s a tough spot. I have no expectations of her as a BM but as a friend, I hoped for more

I can relate to this, specifically with my bridal party. I don’t have any expectations for a bridesmaid other than wearing the dress and showing up. I know it’s a huge commitment, financially and time-wise (a lot of my bridesmaid are in different provinces).

it seems through the wedding planning process I’ve learned a lot about people (and about myself). Some individuals actually speak to me less than they did prior to the engagement. To be more specific, this BM is actually not returning my calls or texts. It’s such an odd situation. I’m not upset with her and I don’t think “how dare she? I’m planning a wedding.” But instead, I’m wondering why she’s treating her so-called friend like this. I’ve extensed heartfelt messages and texts out of concern to make sure she is doing alright bc I was worried. Then I see she’s on FB or IG. Two weeks later I’ll maybe get a response “LOL sorry girl I’ve beeb so busy”. Which is fine, we all get busy, but now it’s been four months and we haven’t even spoken on the phone. I’m beginning to think it’s not a priority.

Luckily, all my family have been wonderful so I don’t have any difficult dynamics there. I wish all of you future brides the best of luck during this exciting time!

Oh yeah. It’s a difficult part of being engaged and planning a wedding that no one ever talks about.

Absolutely! Im not inviting anyone from my mom's side of the family because they are terrible people to be honest and Im just not inviting anyone that doesnt treat me the way deserve to be treated. Its your day no one elses.