Do you have any automatic disqualifiers for vendors/venues?

I agree with you and everyone 100%. Professionalism is key in running a business or being in the service industry in general. Planning a same-sex wedding has taught me a lot about what people deem as professional and how to sniff out someone who is not ok/uncomfortable. So I'm a big believer of trust your gut and if it doesn't jive, definitely say no. I was told I was picky by a jeweller because I didn't want to settle, so I went elsewhere. You're paying big money so you're allowed to want it your way (not to mention how presumptuous it would be for people to ask you to spend thousands but demand you settle).

Elizabeth,

Your right about having standards for professionalism and courtesy. I don't know about your family members point of view on how they see your way of dealing with vendors. I have met a few that didn't come through as nice and courteous or kind. First it may seem so and then attitude comes out. I have standards myself and chose vendors based on how I want to be treated too.

One mistake was the videographer I had who wasn't the greatest and end result of their edited version wasn't what I expected. It was one me for that choice though I lost the first videographer who would have been better for the job.

I had gone with a coordinator who was charging me an amount that I couldn't afford and as I was changing things and lowering my cost, she ended up saying she was trying to help me out and turned her whole attitude around 360. I dropped her from then.

Keep your standards and disregard those who call you a Diva or Bridezilla because you are not one.

View quoted message

I am so happy to know I am not the only one who thinks not using a greeting is unprofessional! It makes me feel like I am just a wallet to them and not potential client.

The coordinator for one of the venues we decided against didn't use a greeting in her response to our inquiry. It didn't make a good first impression and it only got worse through the rest of the email. Spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors abound. I am completely fine with a few errors here and there (heck, I still struggle with using affect vs. effect correctly) but even my fiance had trouble reading the email. Plus she over used ellipses so it seemed like she either didn't want to talk to me or she didn't know what she was talking about.

It was a terrible first impression and her follow up email was extremely curt.

I think we have every right to go with our gut! I have crossed many Vendors off our list... The biggest was our 1st Photographer. I found her through my Bridal shop where we adore the owner. I spoke for an hour on the phone with this photographer in early Nov & she agreed to hold our day until our Appt Dec 15, 2018. She lives almost 2 hrs away. After waiting all day, not knowing an appt time b/c she would not give a time... At 2pm that day, she text to cancel. She said she'd text me with a new date & what her Pkgs would include within the week. It is now Jan 10 & I still have not received a text from her! I decided right after Christmas we'd look for a new photographer as our Wedding is March 23, 2019 & I was stressed beyond starting from scratch. We booked our new Photographer on Sunday. I let her know what stress I'd been under. I have also ruled out Officiants I contacted on here due to spelling mistakes in responses. I ruled out a nagging DJ. The company was calling constantly! We have found with our Venue & Vendors its about meshing together, feeling comfortable and good communication in Person and through email. We have met in Person with our big vendors like Venue tours by ourselves & then with our Parents. We had a meal tasting and soon mock up tables for our day, Photographer, Limo company, Invitation co, Linen & decorater, our Officiant (2 more meetings to go) as well as 2 1/2 hours getting to know our DJ & vise versa. It may sound like a lot of work & time spent but knowing who we are hiring has been important to us. Especially me. My Mom is my BF & has been to half these Vendors with me. The only vendor we have not met in person is our Photobooth co which I found here & find him very responsive. I am hoping that all this homework will make things run more smoothly on our special day 💑

I crossed off 2 photographers because of spelling mistakes on their websites. Repeatedly misspelling “vows” when you’re a wedding photographer does not fill me with confidence.

I completely understand where you are coming from! I feel the same. I don't want to give any place hundreds of dollars if there isn't professionalism there. I even think if they email back to me without saying "Hello [name]," it's rude. Anyways, I'm on your side. I think you are being professional and you expect a good amount, especially if you're paying.

View quoted message

I hadn't fully thought of that either. until i was getting quotes for decorators. and one of the ones i saw had some beautiful work that i told her and complimented her and said "but that style just isn't me...i'm a simple/sports type girl". and she gave me...not quite a dirty look, but didn't like that i didn't want the crazy over the top/extravagant. so from that point on. how i meshed with them was important

I'd definitely keep your standards and also trust your gut! If you get a feeling that you and the vendor will not work out, best to abort mission.

Oh man, I hadn't even thought about vibe/feeling from vendors yet.

I've visited TONS of vendors in the 15 months since I've been engaged and the things that would make me not want to go with them (regardless of how good their prices were) was:

- Lack of professionalism

- A bad feeling (I had one vendor who I just didn't like personally)

- Not within my budget

The budget one was difficult since sometimes I did like the vendor but our price points were just too far apart.

I'm also the same way with if I message vendors and it takes them FOREVER to get back to me. It really gives me a vision of what working with them will be like and I can't deal with that lol.

Those both seem like very reasonable issues. I did not choose one of my vendors due to lack of professionalism. I was flexible with response times (within a few days is very reasonable) Also location is huge, if you are not happy with it move on. Another big thing to me was accessibility for guests.

You for sure have to have standards! It's your big day and you should strive for the best. Besides, there are sooooo many venues out there that can have your business.

For me the main things that I asked first were: Can you hold 250 people? And can I bring in my own food/alcohol?

If either one was a no I simply moved on! I don't need to waste their time and they shouldn't waste mine. Being direct is always best.

I 100% agree with you! Professionalism from the vendors was HUGE for me! I was speaking with a decor company and was ready to do my down payment... and then they stopped answering me for weeks at a time, said they would send me a contract and never did.... glad I said NOPE to that and went with someone else who was super into communication and making our vision come to life!!!

The way I see it.... you are paying a great deal of money for your wedding. If someone is rude or unprofessional, guess what, someone else who meets your standard will want your money and rather deal with them!

Girl keep those standards high! It’s your day and you only want the best!
I picked my photographer based on their interactions ( and their amazing work!). I sent an email requesting prices. Not only did I get an email but I also got a phone call explaining everything. That right there showed me that they actually cared about the weddings they were going to shoot and it wasn’t just another day shooting a wedding for them!
Because of my work I’m big on email correspondence so I have record of everything in writing, but when people aren’t professional through email it irritates me lol

Hi Elizabeth!

You are NOT a bridezilla or a diva - Never lower your standards because it makes other people uncomfortable! First impressions are important, especially in the wedding industry!

We don't live in the same province as we're getting married, so most of the planning is happening via FaceTime, calls and emails. So over last year's holidays, while we were in town, I scheduled some venue visits.

The first visit was AWFUL, which led me to cut it short and leave. We got there on time, but left us waiting 20 minutes for her, then telling us we were early. She wasn't prepared for our meeting, no handout or package printed out for us to see what our options were. When I told her I needed everything in writing, she referred me back to our email exchange. That's when I said we were done and left. I never heard from her again.

I took that experience as a lesson learned, and now I send more questions via email, before scheduling a phone/facetime meeting.

I'm all for people having professionalism when you deal with them. Especially when you are spending that much money. But its all in how they are too. I am a firm believer in getting the right vibe/feeling from someone. and they don't need to be prim and proper to do that. for example our dj/wedding coordinators (hubby and wife duo) do their meetings in their home and we have a cocktail together. its warm and comfortable. but we still accomplish our goals.

i don't think you are being a bridezilla about wanting professionalism. that's just...how a business should operate.

in terms of the venue with the club members. nothing you can do to control that. members have priority over guests. or the layout doesn't work well. if you have been there and don't like that, it wouldn't be a venue i would have considered.