Normally I'd say always, but I put a deposit down on a mini-cruise for his 30th birthday without telling him. That was a gift though, so I don't think it counts.
We have joint banking now, but we don't shop much at all, so we haven't really come across "permission purchases" yet.
Curious
October 2020
Ontario
Hayley ·
Dispute
Big purchases always, small purchases, rarely. Sometimes I need to treat myself and I don't think i should ask his permission to do so, like the other day i bought myself a couple books I have been wanting. We share a savings account but whatever is in our chequings is our own.
Its important though in the beginning it never happened and I was being dragged into situations I didn't like. Eventually, he learned and was put into his place realizing how karma got back to him.
Always - because if it’s a big purchase, we both should be aware of it and have an opinion on whatever it may be. A car? Home? Even items for the wedding like our cake, flowers etc. It’s not about how much money you have or how much each other makes, it’s about respecting one another and their opinion, as well as keeping your partner in the loop.
Always. He bought a house once when we were dating without telling me and I explained how that was something we maybe should have talked about, so now we both make sure to discuss big purchases beforehand.
Not really, he makes a lot more money then I do so he sometimes makes purchases without telling me. I don't mind, we aren't hurting for money so its ok.
Sometimes, but also not really. We still have our own money after we pitch into the wedding fund and also our bills. What happens with that money is up to us.
Oh yeah! Especially since we are saving for wedding/new home, we will clear anything major first! Even all wedding budget decisions have been confirmed with each other (except my dress because that was all my mama!)
Master
July 2021
Ontario
Kelsie ·
Dispute
I think our biggest purchases have been for the wedding, so typically yes. All big decisions will be made together but we won’t be watching the pennies the other person spends.
We do. We look at it at our money so therefore we should be making purchases together. Things like clothes or hobbies we don’t but I would say once it reaches triple digits, we’re talking about it.
Sometimes, depends on the big purchase: if it's for the home/both of us we definitely check in
If it's just for me, my FH said "it's 201_ and your money, you do what you want". When I bought my truck last year, he knew I was planning on it, but I never "checked-in" with him on it.
VIP
September 2019
Quebec
Valérie ·
Dispute
Sometimes. Only if the purchase is for the both of us, we'll check-in with each other.
Usually .. he did purchase a car without discussing it with me in the past and I was kinda pissed about the lack of communication. So now were pretty good about discussing prior to big purchases.
Always, though we haven't bought anything really big. The biggest was probably a new kitchen table from Ikea which was like $150. For things like that we always go shopping together.
It depends on what the purchase is! Sometimes we do, sometimes we don't. I find that we've both been cautious about bigger purchases as a result of our wedding coming up later this year, though.