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Taylor
Beginner September 2022 Ontario

Disclosing Wedding Rules

Taylor, on November 24, 2019 at 10:11 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 14
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Hello all!
I'm having a bit of difficulty figuring out how to address the - few- wedding rules that I have, as I don't want to sound overly controlling. The only rules I have are:
1) No kids (I understand this means some people will decline)2) No wearing pure whire (white with florals or other colours is fine)
I'm not sure how to include these details in the invitation. I would love to just assume that everyone knows not to wear white but at the last 4 weddings I've seen at least one person I'm a full white dress, one was in a boat neck satin style white dress, and that would not fly with me.
Any tips on how to gently inform my guests of what will not be acceptable?

14 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on November 26, 2019 at 14:36
  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
    • Dispute

    Do you guys have a website? if so i would put this info on the website im not sure i would want to add it to the actual invitation itself!

    • Reply
  • Janaya
    Expert August 2019 Saskatchewan
    Janaya ·
    • Dispute

    Can I go against the common comment here and just say that I was very concerned that people would wear white to my wedding *I did not specify on the invitations to not wear white though* I just used word of mouth and told everyone that I had seen in person to not wear white and when it came down to the day, the thought didn't even cross my mind. I was SO stressed about another girl possibly outshining me or wearing white and in the end I didnt even think about it nor do I recall noticing anyones outfit except my parents. haha so my point is, put it on the invitations but then after that, don't let it stress you out Smiley smile besides, you are going to be the most beautiful woman in that room and no one can take your day from you. hope this helps a little!

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  • BunnyBride
    Super August 2022 Nova Scotia
    BunnyBride ·
    • Dispute

    As other posters have said, definitely put it on the website.

    If you haven't already sent them out, make up an Info card to put with the information. That's what me and my FH are doing to advise everyone that kids are allowed but there will be no childcare there (so plan accordingly) and there's no mint/alcohol allowed (severe allergies in bridal party).

    Putting it on a separate card that is just for important information kind of also drives home the point as it was important enough to have its own piece of stations Smiley xd

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  • Cash
    Curious May 2022 British Columbia
    Cash ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    Love this!! I might have to steal your idea, that would be too funny
    • Reply
  • Cash
    Curious May 2022 British Columbia
    Cash ·
    • Dispute
    I definitely included this on our wedding website as we've had a few people we were concerned about as well. I also included some example questions in the "contact us" tab for people that suggests that there are guidelines to follow like
    " Are our kids invited? Will there be a dress code? Contact us below for any questions you might have! "

    There's lots of cute ways to include no kids on the invitations, we chose to go with "We invite you to use our night to hire a sitter, have that extra glass of wine, and let your hair down!"
    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute

    To address some of your concerns, the way it can suggested is to (done as some on here) have a wedding details page and invitation wording of Adult evening Only. This will eliminate any questions from guests that want to include their children. the other information will allow your guests to know what to expect avoiding to wear to the wedding.

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  • Geneviève
    VIP September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
    • Dispute
    I added an FAQ section to my wedding website and am highly recommending my guests check it out. It’s a good way to establish the ground rules as helpful info, then people are less inclined to get upset about it
    • Reply
  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute

    This is what we had on the back of our invites at the top:Disclosing Wedding Rules 1

    And then for addressing them about not wearing white we had it lower on the back that information on attire/transportation/hotel will be on our wedding website. I also spread the word by telling people that if they wore white I would show them the door or maybe even make them embarrassing shirts that said something along the lines of "Can't follow rules" or "Shame shirt".... It got the point across just fine!

    • Reply
  • M
    Frequent user May 2021 Ontario
    Megan ·
    • Dispute

    For the no kids, I'm planning on addressing the invite to the exact names of the people i want there (i.e. the parents) and then saying that the event is 13+, and that we are happy to recommend local babysitters.

    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Curious November 2021 Manitoba
    Kimberly ·
    • Dispute
    I am also have an adults only wedding, and setting a dress code that will specifically speak to no wearing white or what will end up being the bridesmaid color(s). If anyone wears white at my wedding, i will personally show them the door. I am putting all these details clearly laid out on the wedding website
    • Reply
  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
    • Dispute
    I think if you are having a wedding website you can add this information on it. For the no children, you can put it on your invite or rsvp card either directly or indirectly.
    We only addressed invites to adults and right on the rsvp we put “adults only”. We had some comments about this and people not agreeing, but it was our day not theirs.
    As for wearing white to a wedding, you would think it’s common sense, but people still do it. My step moms sister ( who is in her 40/50s) wore a full cream pant suit to our wedding. And I honestly noticed her right away when I was walking down the isle and almost had a heart attack lol
    • Reply
  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
    • Dispute

    I agree with putting those details on your website, and having the website URL on your invitations.

    You can also have writing on your RSVP cards like: we have reserved _ seats in your honour and write in the amount of seats (i.e. 2 for the couple, 4 if you were including their 2 kids).

    Also, is there someone who constantly wears white to weddings? Maybe talk to that person in particular. I'm amazed there are people out there that think wearing white (full white) to a wedding is acceptable!

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    I'm so shocked that anyone would wear white or cream to a wedding!


    I agree with Chelsea, the website is the best place for the dress code rules.
    The no kids could be a line on the invites that says "please join us for our adults only ceremony and reception".
    • Reply
  • Chelsea
    Super June 2020 Alberta
    Chelsea ·
    • Dispute
    I added an FAQ section on my wedding website with all those type of details!
    • Reply

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