Destination wedding dilemma

holy cow that's a lot of negativity. I'm glad we aren't going that route - I'd have told everyone to stay home and eloped haha!

I am having a DW in November. I feel your pain. No matter what it is your day. This is what I keep telling myself All that matters is that the bride and groom are in attendance and those that don't come it is their loss.

I have been getting lots of people state the same thing "its too expensive". I have close friends I thought for sure would be in attendance state they are not coming. I have had close relatives who I thought would never miss my wedding not attend. I have colleagues who I thought would not come and 8 are attending. I have relatives who I only met once or twice confirm and paid their deposit. So it does not matter the time of year or the price everyone will have excuses. You have to choose what is best for the both of you.

I totally agree with Lisa I have teachers who November is not good for them take a time off and my friend said, I am not missing your wedding. I have friends who make 6 figures, house is paid off, no expenses and $1295 for 5 star all inclusive ($400 off the actual price as its a group rate) and its "too expensive" so they are not coming. If I found a resort for $600 there would be some other excuse. Even my fitness instructors at the gym are attending.

We chose November as its the cheapest time and we are getting married on the day/month we met so our anniversary will be easy and we are still we are getting its not cheap enough.

You learn you cannot please everyone so try not to let it get to you. "I do not like the country", "I hate the food", "what about zika" "I do not like the flight times". Yes seriously one said they wanted a earlier flight time and for that reason are not coming....so I have heard it all.

So do not let it bother you, it is your day and the people who think you matter will be in attendance.

Happy Planning.

Congrats! So exciting!

Thank you!!! We've just booked or wedding for March 14, 2018! We will have our families there and maybe about 5-8 other important people (all depends on who can afford it!)

Hi Dana! This is great news! I'm glad you got such a good suggestions in here. I like the suggestion of doing some small celebrations back home too. Keep us posted on how everything goes! How many people are you inviting?

I agree with all the ladies.

We are going to DR - Punta Cana. Just waiting for the final info from our travel agent. We were trying to have the courtesy of letting his family know before instead of after!!

Well if FH is on board I say you do exactly what you are doing. Just tell them your wedding is booked, and you hope they can make it.

Just out of curiosity- where are yu doing your DW?

Thank you Lisa. It's nice to hear I'm not the only one that thinks the way I am about my wedding. 😊

My fiance is all on board and agrees with me. Thankfully I don't have that obstical of dealing with!! I also think Nov is time for plenty of notice!

It is actually my Fiancée family. His parents can afford it and they are coming it's my mil that is getting worked up because not sure if my sil who is married can get it off. Or my bil will be done university exams! I understand this but now she's suggesting wait til summer 2018 or March 2018 (that's the month we changed for them!!!) We are actually having a reception back home afterwards. And having a video taken so those that can't make it will still see it! It's already a small wedding and now even smaller

All the responses before me are right- we all meet with "resistance" when planning, and at some point you have to draw the line for pleasing people.

You have already moved your date to accomodate people! Like you said, timing will never be ideal for everyone, so they might have to skip. It might depend on how your FH feels about some of his family not being there, would that make another date switch happen? Might be a conversation to have if you have not booked anything (its a day for both of you, he should be happy too!).

The return party sounds like a really good option for you

Preach!
Dana this is you and your FH'S day, not theirs. They can complain and moan all they want but either they go or they don't. Causing drama doesn't add to the situation. If family members really want to go they will find a way. November is plenty of time to give work notice that you will be taking a vacation.
I agree with Louise's suggestion for an afer party. That's what my mom did in 1989.

Great idea Louise! I love the idea of the after party!

Hi Dana, welcome to WW Destination weddings are tough for the reason that you cannot please everyone. Someone will always complain about something.
It is your day and spend it how you choose, do what is best for you and your fiancé. The people that really want to be there will find a way. Is it his immediate family that are being difficult? How does your fiancé feel about this?
My best friend was going to do a destination wedding and they ended up doing it in Montreal because the elders in the family didn't want to travel and spend the $$! My other best friend had a wedding in Greece and only had 27 people there.
You have to decide what is really important to you, your family being there or a small amount of people that you are close to being there.
You could always have a small destination wedding and throw some kind of party back home for people that can't make the wedding.

That's right there isn't a way to please everyone! But you already accommodated them by changing your date! AND....... It's your day and if THEY decide THEY can't be there for you and your FH then THEY are the ones that are making the choice not to attend! Not you and the fact your date isn't convenient for them!!!