Destination or big wedding here?

My FH and I are doing a Disney cruise wedding were we will ties the knot in the Bahamas at Disney’s private island. We decided on the cruise because it narrows our attendees to the people who are willing to put the effort in to come, prevent drama at the wedding. The other part of the cruise wedding that I love is that I don’t have to pay for catering and they take care of everything I just get to show up and enjoy the nice weather and the wedding day. Makes planning a lot more simple. We will be having a casual come and go lunch reception after the wedding back in Canada for those who were unable to come. I’m planning on keeping the reception very simple.

We sort of did both - had a small destination wedding in Canada. We didn't want the 200 people wedding (we are both older) and knew if we had it at home, there would be no reasonable way to keep the number of guests to what we wanted. So, we had a long weekend wedding in Canmore, Alberta with the understanding and communication with guests that we totally understand this is a big ask, so we would understand if they couldn't make it. Well, almost every single person invited came and let us know they were very excited to do so! There were several different ways to get there - plane, car, camper, etc., and lots of options of where to stay that fit most budgets. Honestly, it was the perfect option for us, and our guests seem to agree. (We have many people asking us to renew our vows out there every year so we can do it again, ha ha!) We didn't have an engagement party, shower or anything along those lines, and we made it clear that their attendance was their gift. We've been together for over 11 years and are well established in our careers, so everyone was happy to come celebrate with us. My hubby arranged golf the next day with whoever wanted to come, and I arranged a hike. It was truly great. We had some time to ourselves and extra time with a few guests and I can't imagine a weekend more suited for us.

For us there was never a question of destination or not (despite my large Italian family lol). We wanted to be able to host a wedding that everyone could potentially come to. Sure, a destination wedding is fun, but it certainly cuts down the guest list since not everyone can afford it. It just depends on what you and your FH want, and you should go for it whatever that it.

Its of course your choice but here are my views. i went to my closest cousins destination wedding. both their families dont have much money so my cousin and her husband ended up paying for flights hotels etc for many many people on top of the cost of getting married in dominican as well. no one gave them any gifts as everyone complained how expensive it was. then when we all went people scurried off and no one could find each other as the older people didnt have cell phones, so had to go to the front desk and give peoples names to find out which rooms they were in. then we had to go hand them all the itinerary for the wedding stuff and so many people forgot to show on certain days for events because they booked excursions or were super late because they lost track of time on the beach. we did manage to get one day where we were going to do a group excursion all of us and then people started bailing as the price was too much right as my cousin was booking it for everyone. the wedding itself was beautiful and the coordinator does everything for you. you just have to be exact and tell them what you want and it was cheap too. the only thing that was hard was bringing all her decor, wedding dresses, jewelry, vases etc in our suitcases as they were over jammed cuz we needed so much wedding stuff but also needed our regular day to day clothes, shampoo etc. Either way whatever you choose will be great but that was all stressful for my cousin and her husband lol it was also our first family destination wedding so maybe knowing all this stuff you can plan accordingly? good luck!!

Everything is completely up to you. I knew I didn't want a destination wedding because my FH's family wouldn't have been able to afford to attend. And also the hoops that you have to jump through in order to get married outside of the country, as far as I know are pretty lengthy and stressful.

Because of the ages of my FH's parents we never really considered it. I would love for a friend of mine to have a destination wedding though

It was an idea - but my FH's cousin and his now wife had tried doing that and sent out cool invitations and everything (before I met my FH) and what happened was they had to cancel it. It really depends on your families and if they can afford something like that or if they can't. We knew that not only would we not have enough family be able to make it but his own Mom wouldn't be able to afford it so the idea didn't last more than a minute.

If you can get your immediate family all there and a few close friends then I say do it. If not... how close are they to you and how much to you care?

We were a couple days away from booking a destination wedding! It would have been just immediate family, but then I found out my grandma and sister wouldn’t make it and that was a big deciding factor for us.
My FH is also Italian, but we wanted a smaller wedding. So we cut off at our parents cousins and only people we have seen in the past year.
There are times where we wish we would have stuck to the destination just to eliminate drama, but we both only plan on doing this one time and wanted to make sure everyone could be with us.
Make a pros and cons list. Look at who would come if you did destination. Look at the price too. What I would have wanted in Punta Cana for a wedding was going to cost about the same as having a wedding here.
At the end of it, make sure it’s what you and your FH want!

We thought about destination but my grandparents are in their 90s and I couldn’t get married without them there. So we nixed the idea pretty quick.

Our wedding so far, we’ve invited 325-350 people so it’s a big wedding. My FH is polish and has a large family. So I feel you on the big wedding!

It was a pretty easy choice for us, do the big wedding here and go somewhere for a honeymoon after to release the pressure and stress.

I think for me personally, id have to be super close to someone to go to a destination wedding. It’s a huge cost depending on the location and resort. But that’s just me.

We are doing a destination wedding and let me tell you, it was not an easy decision for us as a couple. My FH wanted the big wedding, I wanted something small and outdoors. I've always loved the ocean so a beach wedding was calling to me! It wasn't until we started crunching numbers that he came around to my side of things.

We have approximately 50 guests coming with us and we have had nothing but excitement from our people! Some people can't make it, for a variety of reasons, and we completely understand. It is a lot to ask of your guests, and we've seen that the ones who can afford it and make it happen do, and they're happy about it!

We aren't doing a stag and doe, or engagement party, or bridal shower, and we have clearly said we are expecting absolutely no gifts, monetary or otherwise. We are hoping this sort of balances out with the price we've asked them to pay to travel with us for the week.

View quoted message Thanks for being honest, I appreciate what you said. I always felt the same about destination weddings when I was forced into going to them so that's why I'm not too sure I want to go that route. I love the elopement idea but as an only child my mother has cried and begged me not to do that to her so I have to do something that includes her. I just don't know what and it all seems so overwhelming right now.

Two views can be looked at this wedding costs:

Destination is way easier to have your guests able to make it for your wedding and make it a vacation at the same time with everything done for you since your arranging the plans with the resort. The added costs comes upon airlines which will be upon the photographer, videographer, DJ and make up/hairstylist if their contracts enforce the costs on you. So not only yourselves, vendors are also included in the charge and their meals everyday too. Something to consider if your budget allows this extra cost to incur. Anything to take for gifts or decor will be extra costs at the airport considering how many you take.

Local weddings cost about the same depending on DIY projects that will save you the extra costs and travel expenses for yourselves and vendors to incur. Halls, venues and hotels help in putting everything needed on your behalf for the wedding. Decorator or doing yourself, vendor setting up and timing make it easy to arrange with you. Your guests will feel more comfortable to know they can spend less on airline tickets if arranging. You will have time to drive to do all the set up or check up needed few days before at your venue.

I am answering from a guest's perspective as we never considered it.
I'm going to be very honest, because I think that's what you're asking for.

I don't like destination weddings, unless it is an elopement without guests. I think it's a big ask of guests, given the time and expense. I know the arguement is that the guests get a vacation but if I go on vacation I get to choose where I stay, who I'm with, and what I do with my time. To be candid, destination weddings always feel like downloading the cost of a wedding onto friends and family. And I'll admit this seems even more true when it costs a week of vacation time and thousands of dollars to attend and the vows being exchanged are merely symbolic and not legally binding (depending on where the destination wedding is, many couples legally marry at home before the trip).

I realize people who choose them love them. And I may be in the minority, but I just don't like them.

One option that may appeal to both of you is to elope just the two of you somewhere special and then have a reception at home. Post elopement receptions tend to be more casual and less expensive, and then you can celebrate with all the people who are important to you.