Day of Coordinator- Issues

I would be cancelling that contract to be honest.

If it's her dear friend's wedding, she shouldn't have taken a job on the same day.. She is going to spend more time at that wedding than yours so you are not going to get her full attention - and I'm sorry - but her mother?? is she also a certified wedding planner.. has she ever done this or is she merely just standing in to help her daughter?

I would be very disappointed and would be looking to cancel that contract

View quoted message I totally get your frustration! You want someone who can focus on your wedding. If something goes wrong, is her mother as experienced at dealing with last minute issues as she would be? I using a friend as my day of person. She's as much of a perfectionist as I am and she is very happy to help. I know she will make sure everything goes smoothly!

Hope it goes well and you don't get ditched.

View quoted message

I've set up a meeting to talk to her in person and see if she would rather just attend that one completely and refund me. I just don't think I can find someone else with same pricing as her and trust it all get done. I'm not sure if I should just not have one then and have a really good friend check on things who's attending that I could trust. I do have this type of friend I think who would be happy to do it as she wasn't in wedding party but shes kinda my unofficial wedding party.

Seems a little fishy of her words to keep upon your contract firm. She needs to make her mind up and say if she wants to be at the other wedding or be there to take care of your vendors and everything signed with you. Unprofessional especially when her mother is being involved in all this and not knowing how to handle things as her daughter.

I don't know which of the wedding came first to her and how she forgot to look at her calendar. If I were in your shoes, I would reach out and see if she really is going to be attentive to you wedding or just not refund you for double booking. An alternative is what she needs to hear and get a reality check if she continues doing this to brides.

View quoted message

She mentioned that there would always be someone there, example she is currently at mine and then her mom would come and meet her brief her and then she would leave. then when she comes back again her mom would brief her and her mom would leave. so someone would always be there.

Mmm , the whole thing is very unprofessional. The part where she says that when she is at the other wedding then her mom will be at your's and vice versa, there could be a point in time that neither one will be there and if a vendor shows up, you will need a 3rd person to deal with that.

View quoted message

She's on holiday's this week. I asked to meet with her in person as I don't feel like I am getting much point across in text. She will text when back from vacation next week

Any response from your coordinator?

View quoted message

I agree with this. She should offer you at least a partial refund because you paid for her services, not her mother's. She should've explained how things would be handled in the event that she has an emergency or is ill - most vendors have a designated back up, but it looks like she did not discuss this with you.

That is so unprofessional. You hired her not her mother, I would discuss refund. Look at your contract. Is she breaking it by herself not being there?

EDIT: Just read that you do not have a contract. Did you pay a deposit?

View quoted message

10000% this. Absolutely this.

Time to have a serious conversation with her, ask for a refund and find someone who is less comfortable. You hired her, not her mom.

I'm not sure with your contract, but with mine it states is my coordinator cannot attend they will fully replace with someone of equal experience/knowledge of the industry or more. I would voice to her that you want a single point of contact and to see if she can replace herself fully with either another member of her team or another vendor?

That does seem really unprofessional of her! While she is trying to help you out with having her mom there, her mom probably isn't a wedding day-of coordinator. The way I see it, there are two ways you can go about this:

1. Going with having both her and her mom there. Anytime you meet with her, you also have the mom in the room so she knows the timeline

2. Cancelling your contract with her. Her job is to make your wedding less stressful - it sounds like she's doing the opposite!

Personally, I'd go with option #2 as it is unprofessional of her. She probably knew of your wedding before her friend's. Like Bianca said, she should know her profession makes her work weekends.

If having 1 person there for the entire event is important to you, then tell her that, thank her for all of the help and support she's provided thus far, and say that you think its fair to ask for a full refund so you can find another coordinator who can commit to the entire day. If you are not 100% comfortable with this arrangement, then you need to be upfront with her about that.

Its actually weird to me that she didn't offer that up as an option seeing as she can't commit to your wedding day anymore.

You deserve to have a coordinator who is present and focused on your wedding. She's getting paid to create a smooth, stress-free wedding day for you and your husband. If she can no longer do that, then she should be refunding what you have paid her to date.

The issue is we didn't have a contract. She was the one person I forgot to ask for one. We met in person, texted a lot after, have a note connected through the iphone we both write in and give ideas. She said whenever her mom is there, she will be at other wedding and then when shes there her mom will be at other wedding.

It doesn't help we don't have a contract and thats partly my fault for not asking.

Nope!

That is absolutely terrible, when you are paying someone and putting all of your trust in to that person for them to tell you they will not be there?!

Does her mom even have any type of qualifications or experience with weddings? I feel like that would be a bit of a disaster if she doesn't.

I would definitely be asking for either a discount OR a full refund and choose a different coordinator. It is not fair that you are paying someone for them to be partially there.

Good luck!

Wow, that's so frustrating! That sounds very unprofessional and unexpected. What does your contract say?

If I were you, I'd ask for a meeting between you, her mother, and her to ensure that her mother will be fully up-to-date on the expectations of the day. Ensure that she gives her mothers number to vendors as a secondary contact number. And see if the mother will be there the entire day too.

It's not your fault that the friends wedding is on the same day, your coordinator should know that this is a risk she takes by having a job that requires her to be available on the weekends. I'm really unimpressed for you lol.