Dance only guests

View quoted message That actually would be what I invisioned if we go that route. I am really on the fence about it. I want everyone there for dinner as well I just don't know if it is in the budget!

I attended a wedding where we were all at the ceremony and they had a champagne toast and speeches in the same location as the ceremony. Then guests who were going to the party later went off and the family went for dinner. A bunch of us got together for dinner in between and had a great time! Actually did not mind doing dinner separately and getting to visit with others and then went for the dance part where they did the cake cutting and dessert then the music started!

This is what we're thinking of doing, and I think it probably depends on your friend group and their expectations. If these are people that live in the same city as your wedding - coworkers, teammates, or casual friends that you socialize with occasionally at mutual friend's parties but haven't hung out with solo, they'll probably understand. (At least if it was me, I'd be happy to come to the 'after-party' just to dance and have a fun night out.)

I think you just need to be very clear that they don't need to bring a gift and you'd love to see them for drinks, desserts, and dancing.

2 separate invitations will be helpful to send to your guests based on events to attend. Main family and closest friends invited to both as ceremony and reception (dinner included), and dance only invitation for guests attending after dinner/speeches/first dance.

The concept allows you to keep towards your budget and dinner guest count.

View quoted message I'm leaving it up to them. We are going to live stream our ceremony for people who aren't invited/can't make it. So there's that option too. We're young, I'm a student. People get we have restrictions. 🤷

View quoted message Are you inviting them to the ceremony as well then too?

We're doing this for some friends we like, but can't afford to feed. They're all local, and rather young so they understand that it's not personal. They just want to party and celebrate with us.

Generally, in Canada it is not considered polite to issue partial invitations. I understand in the UK this is mainstream but it certainly isn't here.


The reception, including meal, is the couple's thank you gift to those who attended the ceremony. I suppose going by that train of thought, if they aren't invited to the ceremony then you don't need to thank them and can invite them only for dancing. I certainly would not have them attend the ceremony and only feed some of them

I personally wouldn't invite people to the ceremony and dancing, skipping the dinner. It may come off as rude to guests and people could get upset. I'd invite the people you are thinking of cutting out of dinner to dancing only.

If you do go this way, I'd have something on the invitation citing seating issues, like Valerie said.

Depending on when you expect your meal to end I would add a little buffer in case things run late.


If you're feeding all 175 cake then you could have speeches or one of those bride & groom games to fill the buffer time so if people arrive early it's during a more relaxed portion of the event.

The invitation should say the time the "general dancing" would begin. I wouldn't invite anyone before then, due to limited seating. The last thing you want is to have 100 people standing, while everyone is eating cake or listening to speeches. It would also look weird if you had seating put out for 175, when only 75 people would be using them for the better part of the dinner.

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What we did for our wedding is have 2 rounds of invitations? We had just over 300 people we wanted to have at our wedding but could only have 250 people capacity (which includes our vendors like DJ, bar staff, etc.). We sent the first round out at the 5 month mark with RSVP's due by 3rd month. Then the second round out at the 3 month mark with RSVP's due by the 1 month mark. Only thing I would have changed is that they don't need a 2 month window to RSVP - we should have made it a 1 month or 1.5 month RSVP time.

I would make sure that the ceremony and party are back to back, and have the dinner portion first. While it's one thing to be only invited to the ceremony, or only to the party, I would certainly be hurt if I were invited to the ceremony, then I had to go figure something out for dinner, and then come back later for dancing, I think it would be quite obvious that it's for cost reasons and would just feel crummy. Personally, I would turn that kind of invitation down.

Additionally, there's the problem that hardly any weddings stick exactly to schedule. If your guests arrive early for the party but everyone is still eating dinner - that's even more awkward for the B-team invitees. If you choose to do it, just be prepared to field some hurt from people, because it will be painfully obvious that they are a B-team invite. Maybe consider just having them to the ceremony as an "open ceremony" for anyone who wants to attend that knows you, and then an invite-only dinner and party after. Best of luck

I dont think you can have people come to half the ceremony and then dancing. youd had to invite them to dancing only which is pretty late like around 9 pm. you need to make a strict timeline and then your invitations to dancing only people need specify that they are not there for dinner (so they know to eat before hand - they may think youre having a late dinner!) but you have to make sure you wedding timeline goes correct cuz if youre running behind you dont want 100 people wandering around your wedding with no where to sit while speeches or other wedding events are going on.

View quoted message That's what I am worried about is awkwardness or hurt feelings. As I'd really like to just have everyone there to celebrate with us as I find it really difficult to choose some over others. I might have to reevaluate the idea.

Since I assume you will be having the speeches while people are sitting I would say to have them come after that part to avoid majority of the guests standing to listen.

If it were my wedding then I would say that if supper was at 6PM, I would invite the reception guests to come for when supper and speeches would be done which I assume/guestimate to be closer to 7:30PM. Just makes it a bit harder if you were to want them to see the first dance because usually everybody else is seated for that and they wouldn't be there or they would be standing in the doorway basically.

If you're only having them for a dance... you invite them when the dance is starting.

If you do this, just be prepared for some people to be upset. It'll be clear they weren't invited for the dinner and some people will have strong feelings about that.