Cutting down guests. How would you tell them they are not included on the 50 guests?

We told people they were moved to a secondary list of invitations, should the situation change for the better. Stating "At this time we cannot safely host our entire guest list and have had to make decisions to ensure the safety of our community". We specifically outlined the current limits and that these limits are changing weekly - if not daily depending were you reside. We apologized for any stress or anxiety this causes people who have arranged travel.

We are not doing a live stream but have considered a second far off future reception.... but who knows when the world will start turning again.

I just "cut" my list. Put all the blame on COVID and most people are super understanding!

Your guest list doesn't have to cut down for the reception celebration because of the restrictions. A friendly note of covid postponement is nice to let your family and friends know your putting the plans on hold.

Guests on your list to attend can be present for now and for later celebrations too. Your vendors will understand and push your date to the new chosen date year next or two.

I just did it and worded it that due to covid, we had to ask their families not to come because of the gathring resrictions and let them know that there is a website that they can go to for updates if things change. You can also ofer a virtual alternitive

We originally had 30 for our wedding this past July and cut it down to immediate family to avoid hurt feelings (Six people- Our parents and kids). Everyone completely understood and there were no hard feelings.

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You can always limit it to just your immediate family so that there's no feelings hurt from picking and choosing amongst the extended family. Even if each of you have five siblings that are part of their own traditional family unit of four, 50 still covers it.

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Thank you this is very helpful!

Now comes the awkward question... What happens when you have too much family for the 50 people?

We went from 200 guests to 50, and now in Ontario where I live it's 10 indoors and 25 outdoors.

We basically posted on social media and to our guests that due to restrictions we are only having parents, grandparents and siblings at the wedding. That's it. Plain and simple.

No one complained - and no one should anyways, you can't be made to feel upset that someone isn't invited now due to restrictions!

We hadn't sent invites out, but our save the dates had been sent. I reached out to people to let them know that this year we were only having our immediate family and our wedding party.


I had phrases like "as much as we want to celebrate with you this year covid has forced us to change our plans" and if possible add a "we hope we can celebrate with you later".

We had sent out save the dates and change the dates already for our 63 person guest list. If we need to cut down to 50 it will be a tough decision but we already know friends that would gladly volunteer and everyone hopefully understands that this could be a possibility.

I agree with Hank and Marg, explaining how tough the decision was and why is going to be the best way to get around it.

My hope is that everyone knows that this is extremely difficult on all of us and they respect all our decisions, like them or not.

Have you already sent the invitations and now need to retract them? Or is it just the awkwardness of telling some friends/loved ones that they aren't making the cut?

If you have to retract invites, setting up a zoom/streaming option would be good. Like "due to covid-19 we are sorry we couldn't share the day with us in person, but please join us via our livestream"

If you haven't invited anyone yet, telling anyone who asks about the wedding that you are going to have to keep the guest list very small given the circumstances should temper their expectations.

For either, if you explain that you had to make some really difficult decisions to keep within recommended guidelines AND to keep everyone safe, I'm sure people will understand even if they are sad.

If you're planning on doing another celebration in the future, you can say that. If you're offering any virtual options, you can include that as well. Otherwise, just blame the pandemic on not being able to have them at the celebration. Something along the lines of "Unfortunately, due to government regulations around covid-19, we will be unable to have you join us to celebrate our marriage. The health of our guests is important and we will follow all guidelines set out by health professionals."

How you word it will depend on who made the cut - for example, some people did family only and as a result, can state that while others are inviting local people only and anyone who needs to travel will have to celebrate another time when there are no travel restrictions.