Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Christina
Newbie October 2019 Quebec

Comparing my wedding to others...help!

Christina, on May 20, 2019 at 09:39 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 14

Hello ladies!




I’m reaching out to this beautiful community because I’m having overall anxiety & am beginning to compare my wedding to others. I’ve seen some lavish weddings in the past weeks and am incredibly nervous that mine will pale in comparison. Although, I am well aware that every wedding is unique...I’m starting to feel overwhelmed that mine will be ordinary. We are spending a large amount on decor and flowers but I’m feeling it’s not enough. I understand that our marriage and the absolute love my fiancé and I have for one another is what is the most important thing, and this one day is just that, one day in the grand scheme of things.I feel embarrassed that I feel this way, and I’d love to hear any feedback or words of wisdom from brides facing or who have faced this feeling before❤️

14 Comments

Latest activity by Tori, on May 22, 2019 at 11:35
  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    I have the same problem man, my FH's cousin got engaged 6 months after us, but their wedding is going to be 2 and half months before ours.

    Everything I see even on Pinterest I keep thinking - well if I'm seeing it then she probably would have and I don't want it to look like I copied her or anything. As is his other cousin got married last year and because they had sparklers I decided we CAN'T have them like I have always wanted because then it would be copying him...

    I still don't want mine to match which annoys me because I know that it is not about if they are the same, or less than the other, but it's that part of your brain that likes to tell you otherwise.

    I find that whenever I catch myself thinking I can't do something that they might - that so what?? What if mine isn't as GRANDE as theirs or what if mine has the same type of songs or something. Our wedding is about us. If I put theirs to the side would I like that aspect for my wedding? If yes, then do it. The only thing that matters is that my wedding reflects who me and my FH are as a couple. Heck, they are related to him so it would make sense for them to like the same stuff he does!

    • Reply
  • A
    Frequent user June 2019 Ontario
    Allyson ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    Here's a great podcast to listen to about giving ourselves permission to relax about our weddings and not to get caught up in details which may be important to others but not us. ....https://www.onefabday.com/ie/wedding-podcast-stay-organised-for-your-wedding/?utm_source=Subscriber+Email+List&utm_campaign=bdd795bafd-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2019_05_20&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_ac55da379b-bdd795bafd-304372529
    • Reply
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    View quoted message

    This. Is. So. Perfect.

    I agree that all weddings are unique and we should all stop comparing our weddings.

    • Reply
  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    I have done the same! I went to 4 weddings last year and they all had very different taste/budgets. Its been hard not to compare it all to mine. I am nervous that mine will be cheap looking or just not how I want. I have different taste compared to when first started and now wish I didn't buy it all ahead of the time. Feel like it won't all look good together but I just don't have patience to sell and try to get new.

    My suggestion is to consider how beautiful of what you put together will look like. It doesn't have to be over the top to look beautiful.

    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    Comparing weddings can be hard from others you have attended. Some things you like can be taken into your views of aspects.

    There were some things that were started from one cousins wedding and carried onto family wedding attended and one this year. Other ideas just come as you see the day and weather.

    The one thing that was started was the welcome bag with snacks and pins for ladies indian outfits and hair pins if needed. Water was also included to every room that was on their list of family and friends. Information for the events/locations/timing/attire known. Bars/Restaurants/clubs in the area for the youngsters to enjoy the late nights. Entertainment of shopping and places to visit during the time of every guest stay.

    Hotels booked for the wedding have had events held for the wedding in different ballrooms and cocktail in another area. It also made it easy for everyone to party in the rooms as to going out in public.

    You know what you want and how your vision will look at the end of the day of you wedding. Stick to your feelings and don't overlook things many times to get overwhelmed.

    Just one more thing, don't exceed your guest list to what is in your budget.

    • Reply
  • Erin
    Super May 2022 Ontario
    Erin ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    Your post made me think of all the weddings I've been too and do you know what i remember the most of each of them, it's how happy the bride and groom looked and how sll the speaches made me cry bc everyone said things full of love and support. I didn't remember what the cake looked it, how decorated the space was but do remember everyone having a great time. Your wedding will be awesome bc you will glow with love and happiness and that is contagious!
    • Reply
  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    I think it's difficult to not compare your wedding in one way or another especially in today's society where everyone likes to show off their money and be over the top. I think all of us here have compared at least a small aspect or detail of their wedding to another, I mean we are all on here constantly sharing our ideas and whatnot. But it's how you handle it, comparing is not a big deal but if you let that build jealousy and start going out of your way to top someone else's wedding then you'll just end up disappointed in the end.
    To you, your wedding should be the best wedding ever, because it's yours! To me, mine will be the best ever. To everyone one on here, their wedding should be the best wedding ever.
    The thing that makes your own wedding better than every one else's is that it is yours and you married the love of your life with all your family and friends celebrating by your side.
    • Reply
  • Kirsten
    Frequent user October 2025 Alberta
    Kirsten ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    It is exceptionally difficult not to compare your wedding to everyone else's especially when everyone else has a much different situation creatively, financially and just overall. As long as you love your wedding, and it fits your vision, your wedding will never fail in comparison because it is YOUR wedding

    • Reply
  • Christina
    Newbie October 2019 Quebec
    Christina ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    Thank you to everyone posting their replies. It can feel truly overwhelming when you feel as though no one understands what you’re going through. I really appreciate all the words of wisdom and great advice!
    • Reply
  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    It’s very hard to not compare your wedding to someone else’s. Especially when you see everything on social media.
    I was more worried about people thinking I copied their wedding, or music choice, or first dance. But at the end of the day, this is what we like and what we enjoy!
    Less is more sometimes! Those big crazy weddings can be too much for some people
    • Reply
  • Amie
    Devoted August 2019 British Columbia
    Amie ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    I can totally relate with how you are feeling. It’s so easy to compare with others. I feel the same way- I seen lavish LA weddings my friends (soon to be wedding guests) have attended and worry they will compare my wedding to those. However, it’s just like life, we can’t compare ours with others. Everyone is in a different stage of their life, values a wedding day differently, has different financial flexibility for their big day and has different tastes.
    Your wedding will reflect you and your fiancé and the love you two share. It will be yours and yours only. Try not to compare to others because it’s an endless road and there will always be someone out there who has more or does more.

    Im sure your wedding will be lovely! Trust and have faith ❤️
    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Frequent user July 2021 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    My soon to be brother in law is getting married this July.

    I am not so worried about 'falling short' of their wedding as I am about 'copying' their style, decor, theme. They are very hush, hush on what the wedding will be like so I really know nothing at this point.

    I have so many ideas pined but I am waiting till their's before I officially decide on anything.

    I agree that the day about you and your fiance.

    It will be special for you.

    • Reply
  • Caitlyn
    Super January 2020 Ontario
    Caitlyn ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    I’m honestly having a really hard time with this as well, especially because my FSIL is getting married on the 31st and over half of our guest list will be at that wedding.

    As Kelsie said, just remember that it’s your day and to do what you want. You can’t please everyone. We’ve had a few people stick their nose up at us having a winter wedding, but we’ve also had someone say to us “you’re doing it right. This is one wedding where I won’t be sweating to death in my suit!” The important thing is that you and your fiancé are happy with your wedding.

    What makes a great wedding isn’t how lavish it is or how much money you spend. It’s all about you and your fiancé’s love and just being a good host and having a good get together for your guests.
    • Reply
  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    I used to be nervous about my wedding until I realized my wedding is for me, not other people.

    As long as there’s enough food and beverages for the guests, they’ll be happy.

    make your wedding planning experience about you and your partner and focus on what you two want. Every couple is different so every wedding is different.

    make yours special to you!
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

Groups

WeddingWire Article Topics