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Elizabeth
Newbie October 2020 British Columbia

Church Wedding - Do we invite the congregation?

Elizabeth, on September 27, 2018 at 13:48 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 7
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Hello! My fiancé and I are getting married 2 years from now, October 24, 2020. We have picked out our reception space at a golf course and have our estimated guest list of friends and family at around 75 people. My fiancé and I are both very active in volunteering and working with the children and youth at the church we attend. Many people who attend the church know we are engaged and are really excited that we are getting married. We would definitely like to get married at this church, and I was thinking that it would be nice to have an open invitation to the ceremony to those who attend the church and know us and would like to go. I was thinking of reserving seats at the ceremony for those who have been invited to both ceremony and reception, and then leave the rest of the seats open for church attendees. I told my fiancé about the idea and he wasn't thrilled, and would prefer to have just friends and family and no church attendees. Has anyone else experienced this or have any advice on what they did for their wedding or will be doing for their wedding? Thanks!

7 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on October 2, 2018 at 10:36
  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Keep it simple and low key. Church members can goce their best wishes to you both at regular service.

    FH is wanting to keep it within the range of family and friends which makes sense to do.
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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
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    Where I’m from, it’s completely normal to have an open invitation to the ceremony. These people wouldn’t be given an invitation, it would just be announced to the congregation when and where the ceremony was.

    I doubt everyone will show up. It will be people that know you and/or your fiancé who will come. You probably won’t have much time to talk though as you will have pictures and they will leave after the ceremony.

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  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
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    I would need to agree with your fiance and my opinion on this would be no... Your wedding, although a religious ceremony in your church, is still very personal. Unless you are very close with all members of your congregation, including outside of church, I wouldn't open it to them. It also opens the can of worms of needing to tell everyone they can come for the hour for the ceremony, then they have to go home while every else goes to the reception.

    I think it's best to just leave it to your actual guests of family and friends. Your congregation can be happy for you, without needing to attend the ceremony.

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  • Lucy
    Frequent user July 2019 Ontario
    Lucy ·
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    Some churches require that your ceremony be “open to the public” so you may not have a choice about having extras at the church. Definitely something to look into. If that’s the case, I wouldn’t feel the need to provide refreshments or anything for them. And just stick with the invite only reception for your friends and family.
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I would go without it. Perhaps have a simple BBQ or after party on the following Sunday after church services?

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  • Elizabeth
    Newbie October 2020 British Columbia
    Elizabeth ·
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    Thanks Jennifer, for sharing your experience, this really helps!

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  • Jennifer
    Super July 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
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    I was in a wedding a number of years ago where the bride's dad was the pastor of a church. Smaller church (about 70-100 people in the church). so she ended up inviting the whole church (as it was a touchy subject to invite some and not others when your dad is the pastor). and doing tea/juice/dessert squares as a sort of mini reception. she personally didn't want to and didn't enjoy it. she didn't get to mingle enough with her family members enough. and there were some church members that came whom she barely knew. so I can totally see where your FH is coming from. and I agree with him.

    but I could see how it could be nice to invite them if you are heavily involved in your church.

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