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Nicole
Beginner June 2022 British Columbia

Choosing Maid of Honour

Nicole, on November 11, 2020 at 15:03 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 11

HELP! I'm having a hard time choosing my MOH. I don't have a close friend that is a no brainer to choose for this role, I do have a few girls I am pretty close with but none of them are leaping out at me as MOH material.

I was thinking of choosing my fiance's sister-in-law as we are friends but Im having second thoughts now. She got married last year and planned an amazing wedding, but every time I talk to her about my wedding, she's a little bit of a downer. My other choice just got engaged and will be planning her own wedding that's happening before ours so I don't want to put too much pressure on her. Im not SUPER close with any of the girls, and Im really not sure who would take on the role best, so Im feeling kind of stuck.

11 Comments

Latest activity by Nicole, on November 12, 2020 at 10:29
  • Nicole
    Beginner June 2022 British Columbia
    Nicole ·
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    That makes a lot of sense, thank you for your help!!
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    This sounds to be harder than you imagined and making the wrong choice to regret after the chosen fact. The suggested solution of no MOH seems fair since you have no one close and one is planning her wedding too. Witnesses and bridesmaid is enough to ask the girls to be at your wedding and taking less tension on yourself. No wedding party is okay if you choose that its not working in your favour to ask any of the girls you don't seem fit.

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    For sure. It alleviates you from having to single someone out from your group to make them seem "elevated" while your dad gets an extra moment with the ceremony besides walking you down the aisle (if you're doing that). And if your FH's parents are still alive and attending, one of them could be the other witness if he's in the same boat as you in terms of having a hard time finding a Best Man. Symbolically it also makes it feel much more like a joining of families.

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  • Nicole
    Beginner June 2022 British Columbia
    Nicole ·
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    I never really thought about the witnesses, but I love the idea of having my Dad be a witness! that seems like a nice way to include him in a little bit more of the ceremony!

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Totally agree with everyone else saying you don't need a MOH but here's as an alternative idea, in case this jives: how about a Man of Honour if you happen to have a close male friend?

    Have you thought about what you're doing for witnesses in signing the marriage certificate? Presumably you would want one representing "your side" and a lot of times this role is filled by the MOH. In your case, will you choose one of your bridesmaids or will you pick someone outside the group, like a family member (perhaps your father?)

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  • Nicole
    Beginner June 2022 British Columbia
    Nicole ·
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    Ooooh yes, thank you!! I was considering this too, I just wasn't sure how that might go over with all the girls as every wedding I've been to has always had a MOH. I do think that all the girls would be more than willing to help out though! Maybe that will work even better since everyone can pick and choose what they want to help with.

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    You don't have to have a maid of honor. I only had bridesmaids!


    If you're worried about who will organize things like a shower or bachelorette, you can ask specific people who are good at planning or even let the girls decide and plan amongst themselves.
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  • Nicole
    Beginner June 2022 British Columbia
    Nicole ·
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    Its a lovely suggestion, no need to feel sorry. I was thinking maybe just not having an MOH as well and giving everyone the opportunity to help out in whatever way they can/would want to.

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  • Amanda
    Expert July 2022 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    Oh I am so sorry! I do LOVE that idea though Smiley heart
    Hmmm... Maybe don't have a MOH... Just have Bridesmaids? This way everyone can equally step up and help you.

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  • Nicole
    Beginner June 2022 British Columbia
    Nicole ·
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    That is such a sweet idea! I would love to do that but sadly, my mom passed away a couple years ago. I will be tying a cremation necklace to my bouquet so I can have her with me up there though ❤️
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  • Amanda
    Expert July 2022 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    How about your Mom? I know it sounds odd, but my Mom is my Bestfriend and I would have her stand beside me any day of the week. If my parents were still together, My Mom would have been beside me on my wedding day.

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