Change the whole plan?

You're not being a downer, you're offering realistic advice. We are planning a honeymoon fund instead of a registry so we are hoping to take a trip that way, if not the oh well. I concede that jobs could be a factor. I am on disability but my FH works for a family business and is quite stable. The reason we are considering a bigger party for our 5year anniversary, instead of a honeymoon, is because we both adore our large extended families and want to celebrate our happiness with them but can't feasibly do that for our planned wedding date. The gown thing is because my parents want to buy me one, I don't care over much about that part

That's why I included jobs since not everyone has kids to consider! When I was with my ex, he went to work one morning and was home 30 minutes later because he had decided then and there to quit his job. I was on maternity leave with our 3rd baby! He was off work for 6 weeks before he started at his 'dream' job. Shortly before I had to leave him, he went on sick leave and was on leave for a solid year. Both situations can make a budget extremely hard to survive. Sorry to be a downer.

I am interested in the marriage part, not the big dress and party which is why I am really happy with the way we are doing things. I would have had it even smaller and just our parents and our kids but he has a huge extended family and wanted to invite them all. Had it been just us, parents and the kids we would have done a restaurant or catering instead of a potluck.

We don't have money for an exciting trip right after the wedding so our plan is to go to Ireland for our 5 year anniversary. Gives us 5 years to put money aside every month to help us get there while continuing to provide for the kids.

Thanks for the advice! I'll look at some more options

Fair enough, though we will never have to plan around kids so that makes things easier. I'm glad you found such a great dress for so low a cost, I hope your day is amazing!

Wow that's awesome!

I agree with Leah. I think it's better to reconsider your options instead of planning it for 10 years in advance. Your wedding is still quite a way away so you have time to think about it as well as wait for sales (or finding a second hand gown). I would see what you can afford and what you consider the most important aspects of your wedding. What do you want to spend the money on? If you're short, there might be a way to save money elsewhere or for you to earn extra money for what you want.

You most likely will never do the big party in 5-10 years. Life has a way of getting in the way with babies, kids, jobs etc. We are having a wedding on a $2000 budget at my school with a potluck meal for 75 adults and 38 kids or teens. We have 5 kids so putting aside a lot of money for a party is not feasible. My wedding dress was $240 that my mom paid for. I didn't look for a dress I wanted. I looked at price tags and ended up trying 3 dresses on and the one I chose is exactly what I never knew I always wanted

My fiancee and I went from having 120 people on our guest list to deciding on a small venue that could only accomodate 40 (including us!) We have done mostly DIY and have cut costs in many places. Our flowers were $61, decor was $100 - including a bird cage for cards which was like $40, my original dress was $100, my new dress was $33, venue/food/officiant/cake/wedding night accommodations were $6000. We are set to spend under $9000. I think $8700 currently estimated

It helps so much, glad we aren't the only ones!

Hi Shannon! My husband and I decided to do pretty much just that!

We went from having 120 people, to eloping in front of our parents and siblings (total of 19 people). We are having a wedding reception for the 120 people later this year, there is nothing wrong with waiting until you can afford it!

It's your day, you can do whatever you want! As long as you and your husband are happy. If you are worried with how people will react; no one has spoken publicly to my husband and I about any negative opinions so I really don't think that will be something to worry about. Hope this helps!

You're welcome!

Thanks !

I had the same thought, I don't want to be paying off our wedding after we're married!

This is a great idea! Thank you so much

I think smaller weddings are so intimate and lovely. Though I would look into putting money towards some catered food. Pot lucks can be a lot of work and I wouldn't want my guests to have to worry about making a dish while they're getting nice and dressed up to come my wedding. It can be very stressful on them and I truly want my guests to not worry, enjoy themselves and have fun!You can get catered food from Italian or bbq restaurants for VERY reasonable prices. Or I would have the reception in the afternoon (1-4pm) and throw a cake and punch reception after

That sounds like a great idea! Work with what you have! I always struggled to understand people who go into crazy amounts of debt for their wedding.

Its sounds lovely - its your day -- u do whatever it takes to make it special