Ceremony only invites?

I have a strong opinion on this topic.

I was at a wedding where some guests got invites to everything, and others only to the ceremony and dance, and let me just say that when the friends with ceremony/dance found out that some of the friends were invited to dinner, they rightfully felt hurt and embarrassed, and those of us with a dinner invite felt super awkward. It just put a bad taste in everybody's mouth.

Everybody who went to that wedding fondly remembers it at the worst wedding we've ever been to (for more reasons than that, but it certainly was a huge factor).

Put it this way, if you don't love them enough to buy their dinner, then don't invite them (don't matter if you can fit 8000 people in the church). As a guest, it doesn't feel one bit good to know you're only close enough of a friend to be invited to the free stuff.

I was invited to a ceremony, not to dinner but then to reception. I was kind of offended. I personally think of it as a whole package deal as to not offend anyone. We are having the ceremony and reception in the same venue which helps so we have the same limit on attendance.

I also found people didnt show up cuz they werent invited to the reception. i also seen a few people go up to the bride and groom on their wedding day and ask why they werent invited. my FH was upset and he waited till the day after to ask the couple lol

I completely understand your concern as my and my FH have had the same thoughts but in the other way around. We were thinking about inviting people to just the reception but I agree with Ashley. We opted out of that as we felt it was rude and people would be offended. We put ourselves in their shoes and thought if it was the other way around we'd understand but also feel upset like we weren't important enough to the couple or 'didn't make the cut'.

As a guest to one wedding where we werent invited to the reception. we felt offended lol we felt like we werent good enough to stay the night and hang out with everyone. at the end of the day its your choice but i know you will have some upset guests

What I have seen work well is if you're willing to do an open ceremony. So you post on your socials something like "we invite everyone in our community who knows and loves us to join us for the ceremony" and then send out invites for the reception portion. I don't read wedding invites terribly close so if i were to receive one, I don't think i would notice that it didn't say "reception to follow" or something - you might get ceremony-only people assuming that they are coming to the reception and finding out day of- that's not an issue you want to field!

If you do the ceremony-dance portion, leave looooooooots of time (like, way more than you think) for the dinner, otherwise you'll have the same problem - guests arriving for the dance to see a room full of people chowing down on dessert! And that would be heartbreaking for some people.

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of inviting some people to one portion and not to another, only because it will inevitably lead to hurt feelings; it's easy to interpret it as being a "second stringer". That's why I love the open ceremony with no invites to it, because then the people who really just love your love and don't care about being invited to the reception and just want to see you get married can still come without feeling snubbed. Hope this helps a bit

View quoted message That’s a good idea. Thank you!

View quoted message Thank you for the insight!

Is there room for people to come to the dance portion of the reception and not the meal? If so I think you could offer certain guests the option to return after dinner with a line like "please join us at our ceremony at x time and our dance at x time".

Your idea of inviting guests only to the wedding is your call. This can be done as you have everyone to see you get married and those that are invited to the reception will follow. There isn't anything wrong with your choice of creating 2 invites as those will only be attending your wedding.

View quoted message Yes, churches are open so anyone can come in. There have been a few weddings where online invites were sent, personally inviting individuals to join in their ceremony and only their ceremony. Due to venue and budget restrictions, people we know have had to cut numbers. And therefore, asked some to the ceremony instead. Thanks for the input!

A church ceremony actually doesn't require an invitation. Churches are open to the public.


I do not think it is ever polite to invite someone to the ceremony without properly thanking them for that, which is the purpose of a reception.
I would just invite those who you want to the reception.

View quoted message Great idea! Thank you so much. Greatly appreciated. I like that idea!

Hmmmmm... I've never been to a wedding where we were only invited to the ceremony or the reception - but I don't think I would like that as a guest personally.

If you were to do this I have one suggestion to make it not so "CEREMONY ONLY" - why not have the reception for those who you can, and to only the others who didn't make the cut have an "I do BBQ" the weekend after or something (as long as you aren't going directly on your honeymoon)? If I at least knew that you were trying to put a little party together it wouldn't completely feel like a waste to go to just the ceremony.

View quoted message Thank you so much for your input. It is a real struggle. We’ve gone through our guest list over and over. We just have to decide what’s best. Thank you for your response. Very much appreciated to see what others think!

That really is quite a pickle, venue capacity issues can be quite stressful to deal with.

A reception is said to be a party to thank your guests for coming to your wedding and witnessing your wedding, it really isn't quite fair that some people would get that thank you while others would not. I can tell by your post that you don't mean it this way, but your guests may feel as if they aren't "good enough" to attend your reception in your eyes or for you to spend money on food and drink for. I would recommend either trimming your ceremony guest list so you can invite everyone to the reception, or look for a reception venue that can accomodate everyone.

View quoted message Thank you so much. Your personal experience helps me out a lot. Thank you again!

Hi Tabitha! I completely understand the struggle of wanting to accommodate everyone as much as possible, and also facing venue restrictions. We've been to a wedding where only certain people were invited to the ceremony, while everyone was invited to the reception, and it caused A LOT of animosity and drama. I could see the same thing happening for a ceremony-only invite. Personally, as a guest, I'd be pretty bummed of I was only allowed to witness a 30 minute ceremony and then had to go home knowing everyone else was eating, drinking, dancing and celebrating with the couple. It's definitely a difficult decision, but I would recommend inviting your guests to both events, or none at all. Good luck!!