Cash Bar Guilt!

You're providing wine on the tables and they get 2 drinks free. That is plenty! Please don't feel guilty. We live in a culture where wedding guests feel entitled to things (an invite, a plus one, an open bar, etc...). You are not required to give anybody any of those things if you don't want to or cannot afford to! This day belongs to you and your fiance. Plan the day you want and can afford. Don't go into debt just to impress your friends. If that's their requirement, then they aren't good friends.

I wouldn't stress about it too much. I was in a wedding a couple years ago and the venue they chose had to be either an open bar or a cash bar. My friend didn't have the money in the budget to pay for everyone's drinks, so it was cash. The guests drank less but everyone still had fun. Plus, the disadvantage of open bars is that so many people tend to get their drink, leave it to dance or something, forget about it, and then grab another which in the end can be really pricey. The important thing to remember is that it is not all about the alcohol, like you said it's about celebrating the day with you.

Another option if you are feeling bad and it's within your budget is a toonie bar. You can make some of the money back that you spent on the alcohol, plus whatever that is not opened can be returned to the LB.

My fiance and I are planning our wedding for next February in Maui and the restaurant will only let us do fully open bar or fully hosted bar, no wine on tables, no up to a certain amount paid for by us, no beer and wine only. Has anyone done "Cash Bar Starter" as a wedding favor? Perhaps enough cash for a drink or 2 in a ti leaf at each place setting?

I really hope that reading all of these responses has affirmed for you that you are NOT terrible person for not providing an open bar! I'm sorry that people are making you feel like you owe them that. That's pretty rude of them.

If I was a guest at your wedding, and there was wine on the table, and you gave me TWO FREE DRINK TICKETS, I'd be totally fine.

I went to a wedding where they provided sparking apple juice on the tables, then had a CASH JUICE BAR. No alcohol at all. So there you have it. you're not the worst host by any stretch of the imagination.

Just serve wine and have no bar...but guests can have the option to order a drink from the server. Maybe that will help to control the costs. I have been to weddings where they had paid per consumption. If you don't have a heavy drinking crowd the consumed alcohol outside of the wine may only be $500 ish bucks. If you know someone in particular is a drinker just cut them off early! lol

Best of luck

-Ray Chance

I think it's totally fine - I wouldn't be offended in the slightest! My FH and I have even brought our own alcohol to a wedding where it was in a hotel just for that reason and it was a good time hanging out with others in our hotel rooms in between the ceremony and reception!

I get the whole people giving you a hard time though - that was the #1 question after we set the date. I get it though, it will have an impact on how much people give in their presentation cards so they need to know. All it would mean to me as a guest is that the card will have enough to pay for the meal and then a small gift - minus how much I would have given for providing the booze. I know that not everybody does that though so it just may have been how I was raised.

I think as long as your guests know there will be a cash bar, there's no problem. They will plan appropriately and bring the cash that is required. To each their own at the end of the day.

Your not at fault for going the route of Cash Bar. Some guests may feel this unfriendly way of you saying come with money since we can't fork out for you all. Your budget has been worked out to what you have considered and to your limit. Its nice you did 2 tickets each person to start and they should appreciate it.

Don't stress over this issue and just enjoy your day with your guests even those whom don't want to spend money on their drinks as much as they whine about the wine. LOL

Honestly, it seems to be new part of weddings. The last few years, people have provided amazing food but say cash bar. I don't blame them and if its not in the budget thats fine to me. I will be doing cash bar and just mentioned on invite and the website so people aren't shocked when get there and no money. As a guest, I would want to be invited and pay for own booze then not be invited.

Reading through those articles feel like reading through WebMD and convincing yourself that you have an incurable illness....when really, you have a common cold hahaha.

Regardless of the bar option, your guests will have a blast. I honestly haven't heard anyone complain AT the wedding about it, those comments usually come out when the couple's planning their wedding.

As long as you're communicating the bar option with your guests, and whether there will be ATMs on site or not, it'll be fine

I am sorry that people are not understanding the situation you are in. A cash bar is totally ok. In the end, this is your wedding and you have to do what is best for you. FH and I are doing a toonie bar which in the end should cut the cost a little. Not to mention my family is known to get out of hand when it comes to drinks.

I have been to weddings where it's cash bar, toonie bar, open bar and everyone always has a good time.

I am not sure why there is such stigma around 'open' bar?

Wine and 2 drinks sounds perfectly acceptable to me.