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Shla
Devoted October 2021 Ontario

Bummed about the wedding we can't have *just a rant*

Shla, on June 27, 2019 at 09:31 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 16
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So this is really a pointless post, just need to actually vent some frustration.

So backstory, I've always been a super dark kinda person. Love Halloween, forensics, etc.. So I love Halloween and dark themed weddings, of course. This is my second marriage and for my first we got married on October 30th 2010. We had a full on Halloween party. Which is something I always wanted. But my ex made it so it was more...kids Halloween party than the gothic glam I really wanted. My fiance now is just as in love with the dark, macabre side of life and we just adore Halloween. I told him about my first wedding and how differently I had wanted it and he loves my dream vision. He would do it exactly how I envisioned it and loves the idea. I wish it were possible to do it without it being weird.

Basically my point is I'm mad I wasted the good wedding on my ex. Because my fiance now and I have such a better connection when it comes to this stuff. Bumms me out so hard. We feel like we need to go polar opposite otherwise people will think it's weird or wrong or whatever to have a wedding/date similar to my wedding 9 years ago. It's saddening. And makes planning so hard for me because I just can't seem to let it go.

Rant over.

16 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on August 21, 2019 at 15:39
  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    If he wants it too i would totally do it!!!!! who cares what others think!

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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    It's your wedding. Do what feels right for you and FH. Maybe some will compare but that may not be so bad. They may think wow this is so different. More grown up. I see why they chose this theme for their wedding it is so them. Do what makes your day special.
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  • Taylor
    Devoted October 2021 Alberta
    Taylor ·
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    I always wanted the exact same. Though now I know it will never happen I still found a way to weave in the darkness. Our colors are black and red. The wedding party will be in black,my FH in red. The decore will be mostly black with touches of red from the roses. We are doing a lunch instead of a dinner so theres no point in candles but that would add some more gothic vibe if you do it right. Maybe go less general halloween and more into the vampire feeling. Have everything be very old fashion and dark. Theres some beautiful images on google that make it have that dark vibe without it being so childish

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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    You can absolutely have your dream wedding and vision and it won't be weird! Those who know and love you will know that a Halloween-themed wedding is so authentically you, they won't even be connecting it to your ex. I think you need to do what works for you and your FH, otherewise you might look back with regret.

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  • Steph
    Expert June 2022 Ontario
    Steph ·
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    I think if you both would love what you had originally wanted...do it! Do it the way it was supposed to be! It has nothing to do with your previous wedding or marriage, it's about what the 2 of you want for YOUR special day. If people are gonna talk, they're gonna talk regardless of your day/theme. You may as well make it exactly what you want, you both deserve it Smiley smile
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  • Erin
    Super May 2022 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    It makes me sad to think that all your future anniversaries you might have this nagging regret that you didn't follow your heart and have the date you actually would have wanted. Pick the date that you and your man want and forget about what everyone else says.
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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    I think you guys should just go for it anyways! Make it the best day ever because it is celebrating your relationship.
    You can make your wedding day exactly how you want it to be! And how you have imagined it!
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    The theme you want is never late to have or make it happen to your vision. He makes you happy and wants the same, go for it and full blown out Halloween glam day.

    Your ex is the past and wasn't supporting you much in your vision, so let that go and he's over many years now.

    Focus on what's now and present with your FH. Somethings are not worth looking back on and seeing what went wrong.

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  • Seleena
    Super September 2019 British Columbia
    Seleena ·
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    You can have whatever wedding you want! That’s the best part, it’s YOUR wedding girl! I agree with everyone else. You do you, nobody’s opinion matters but yours and your partner.
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  • Amanda
    Super June 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    And you shouldn't have to. Not in any aspect of your life. I think you guys need to go for it. any one who knows you will understand that is you. If they see rainbows and unicorns then they will think THAT is weird. Try not to think about other people, do what represents you.
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I totally think you should have the wedding you want, despite the fact that you did it before. But this time around, you could probably go more gothic glam than the kid's Halloween party that happened last time.

    Whenever someone I know really well gets engaged, I can automatically picture their wedding because I feel I know how they'd do it! My bridesmaid's wedding was pastels and floral/lace, garden wedding. If I tried to replicate that, she would know it's off for me, because I'm more bold colours, no lace, sparkly/glam, elegant wedding. If she tried to go for my vision, I think it would stand out because it isn't her style.

    All my bridesmaids weren't shocked with the colours/theme/vibe I picked lol - but they would be if I picked something the exact opposite!

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  • Shla
    Devoted October 2021 Ontario
    Shla ·
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    I would feel the same if my friend that had coffin shelves and skulls all over their room tried to have a super bright, shiny wedding. It would just feel to me like they were being fake. It gets hard with everyone throwing the "oh you don't want a repeat of last time, you'll jinx yourself!" Well, no, my ex and I were super young and only even got married because that's what we were told we should be doing by that point. This is totally different.

    Thanks for getting it! Most people don't it seems.
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  • Shla
    Devoted October 2021 Ontario
    Shla ·
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    Oh it definitely wouldn't be the same day. Just some date in September or October. To me it's been hard trying to force myself into this bright, shiny, happy looking box that everyone is pushing on me. It's been a real pain.
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  • Amanda
    Super June 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    I have to completely disagree with you here. the past is in the past. have the wedding you guys want, no one will think it's weird especially people who know what you're into. Personally if it were me, I would pick a new date, it wouldn't be on October 30th but that is the only thing just because I would want a fresh wedding date for a fresh start. As far as everything else I really think you should go for it.
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    What???? NO!!!

    This wedding is about you and your Fiancé!!! It should represent who you are as a couple!! It's not like you have changed who you are as a person right? So it would make sense for you to have a wedding that is dark and gothic glam! If anything it would stand out to me if you had a wedding that's theme was flowers and pink!!

    I say no to care what others might think. This is what you guys want - and that's what you should get. PLUS - HALLOWEEN FALLS ON A SATURDAY IN 2020!!! It's perfect!!

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    We are always here for these rants or anything that you need to get off your chest! Its understandable that it defiantly frustrates you about the first wedding, I know its not the same finacial and all that but this wedding will be the best one because of the connection you guys have compared to the last one!

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