Budget talks....

Well, we had the dreaded discussion yesterday. How I worded it was, that traditionally the groom's family hosts the rehearsal party and that my husband and I would be very honoured if they were to host the party, but that weddings anymore are not traditional, and if it wasn't feasible, that we would be more than happy to host the event. We told them that we did not have any expectations as to how extravagant the event needed to be and that it was theirs to do with as they pleased and how lovely it will be that they host the first meal that our families get to sit down together and their loving stamp on the wedding. We also told them to take some time and let us know their decision, and we were comfortable with whatever decisions they came up with. We said we did not want to assume anyone's personal position, but that we hoped that the two families can be open and honest with one another concerning the wedding budget and they agreed and said they were very happy to be included in the planning and that both families are now on the same page. Thank you, everyone, that helped me figure this out!

Definitely something to tread carefully. My parents current financial situation isn't all that great right now either. They offered their place for the wedding/ceremony. My mom has offered her services for a whole bunch of things. I have basically said to my mom though that don't expect to call the shots though as Adam is paying for most of it. My Future In-Laws have said they are going to pay for the tent and table and chairs but have yet to put down the deposit so it is a little concerning. Even if they are unable to I am grateful at the thought but when its our venue so to speak I'd rather put down the deposit and not worry about not having a tent and them help out where they can help. Good luck with your dilemma.

Thank you, everyone, I agree it is a very touchy subject for everyone involved. I think we are going to have our FSIL speak with his parents and see what is feasible. Maybe we can do a 50/50 deal if money is tight, or cut the guest list to just the wedding party and parents. We are flexible.

Traditionally, the groom's parents do host the rehearsal dinner. If budgets are tight for them, try putting a bit of a different twist on it - they could host a small party at their house without a huge dinner - maybe appetizers (Costco has some good ones - quiche and such that could be made by them) that may be a cost cutting measure. It may be good to have him speak to his parents, since money can be a touchy topic.

My daughter and FSIL can't afford to cover the cost, so I think I will have him speak with his parents. All in all, if we have to cover it, we really don't mind, it is the bride and groom's happiness that matters.

Your daughter and her FH should approach his parents and ask if they are able and willing to pay for anything for the wedding and if so, how much could they contribute. Perhaps his parents would be willing to host the rehearsal gathering at their house and provide the food and drinks which would keep the cost down. When my daughter got married 4.5 years ago, I was in a very difficult financial situation. I was on my own and had all my bills to pay. I was only able to buy her dress (second hand), give her the veil that I wore, and pay for the cake through bartering services. You may have to play this carefully.