Broken heart after comments on tk

Ladies I posted on the knot... what a bad idea. Its like being thrown into a pool full of sharks. Before i get started... if you have nothing nice to say then dont say nothing at all please. Looking for support, i dont need any more mean comments.

Me anf my fiancé got engaged in 2014, i say yes and he gave me a ring. We dident have our wedding because i got pregnant. Then poof baby number 2 came. So now thats babies are done we were talking about getting married. My fiancé told me that he dosent belive in the legal part of marrige. He dosent see why the government needs to be involved in our relationship. He went through 3 divorces as a child and no longer belives that the legal part of a marrige dose anything but make it alot harder to divorce and cost more to separate. Me on the other hand no one in my family even extended family has divorced. So i have always dreamed of the white dress and big fairytale love story. Bu here we are 2 kids and many years later still engaged. So after a long discussion and a few weeks of thought we desided to have our wedding and do our vows to eachother because thats what is the most important to us.

So i went on the know seeking advice on how to word and explain thinhs to guest without going into details. But i got such bad comments that it made me feel so heart broken. They said things like im not engaged so i dont get to call him my fiancé, that i wont be a bride and he wont be a groom, that we are lying to our guest and its dishonest. They told me i should have a commitment ceremony but that i cant have the wedding dress or anything that resembles a wedding.
So here i am ladies looking for advice because I feel sad. I would of got married legally but i will not pressure mu fiancé into something he does not want. I will not put at risk our loving family and our life that we have build together. Some say by doing it this way i am missing out on tge security of marrige. But we have our wills done, our home is in both our names, everything we have in our home has been bought by both of us. The only thing i wont have is access to his pention and him paying support to me if we were ever to split. And im perfectly ok with that.

Has anyone here been through something similar?
We want to be clear with our guests about our intentions buy we dont want to have to explain to every single person why we are not getting legally married...
Its making me regret bringing up a wedding/marrige in the first place :-(