Bridezilla? Or fair request?

If the grandparents are right there I am sure they would be over the moon to cuddle it all night (and most of the guests tbh) Who knows they may step in and just take the baby bc they probably understand that they really should do that. I personally agree with you- being 15 feet away from your baby is hardly something to panic about. It's hard now (not sure if she's a 1st time Mum) to picture being away from the baby. There will be so much grandparent and friend time in those first few weeks that it may not be as big a deal come time for the wedding, she may be used to it or even welcome it for the hour or 2 that the table really is in the spotlight. There is always the sweetheart table idea if you think even talking about it will cause drama but I would hope that if she is in your party that you are able to have an honest discussion. Depending on her delivery, she may not even be able to attend in the end.

I will litterly have the exact same thing happening at my wedding. my MOH is preggo, her mom and her brother will be there to watch the baby and she has said that she will make sure she has milk for the baby so they can do that. We were going for no kids at our wedding but as other brides have said we cant ask her to leave her newborn at home, so we of course will include the little one. I can expect that she wont be out with us late night partying and missing out on a few events leading up to the wedding.. but such is life

I also like the idea of a quiet space. I would say be more of a concerned friend for her baby. I was in my BF's wedding last summer and after sitting at the head table under the hot lights with all the noise (glasses and plates clinking, general chatter, speeches and laughter) I can't imagine wanting my little baby in the middle of that. If you explain it like that and offer her a quiet space to the side she may be happy to accept.

It's a tough situation, and I understand where you're coming from.

I would ask her what she's comfortable with, and just say you're so happy for her, but if the baby starts fussing would she mind excusing herself? I think that's reasonable and I don't think you'll notice the baby at the head table really.

A quiet area set up for her or at least pointed out to her would go a long way too!

I'm in the same boat. I told my girl her baby would have to stay with our in laws

I would NOT ask a new mother to be away from her baby when it's so young, even if it's with the grandparents. At that age, babies are unlikely to make that much of a fuss, they sleep most of the time. I even have a friend who actually brought her newborn to class for the first weeks (she gave birth a month or two before she finished her degree), and it was never a problem. If her baby started fussing, she either breastfed her or took her out of the class before she started crying.

You could assign the whole family to another table nearby, or simply ask her to take the baby out of the room if it starts crying during speeches and the like.

It is out of line expecting a new mother to be away from her 3 week old child. This is assuming that everything goes well with the birth and there are no complications/she can make your wedding. I like a lot of the suggestions on here about not having your wedding party sit with you (opt for a sweetheart table), that way the new mother can sit with her baby without compromising your head table experience.

View quoted message

I like this suggestion. The whole wedding party doesn't have to be at the head table. She can sit with her husband and parents at a table that is closer to the door. That way, it's easier for her to sneak out if the baby's crying. There will also be more space at another table for the baby and the baby's stuff for the mom to be comfortable (I think it would be crowded to add a baby, the carseat, diaper bag etc to the head table)

View quoted message I'm the same way, which is why I'm slightly disappointed by the fact that my venue currently has no possible quiet areas.

View quoted message Thanks!! This is likely what I would do if it happened to me, though I doubt it...thankfully, my venue has an outdoor courtyard that can act as a quiet space.

on a side note: im a huge fan of quiet spaces- I personally often retreat to a quiet cafe or my room to allow for journal writing time.

View quoted message I second the quiet area. It shows to the BM that you still truely care about her being there with you and her baby and family too. If I were her I'd be thrilled if you set aside a nice little area. Great idea Jocelyn!

Have a quiet spot at the venue where the newborn can sleep and be watched by your bridesmaid's parents. in a way I see what you're saying, but I personally wouldnt go to the extent of saying the newborn's not welcome at the headtable- i'm not one who welcomes drama, so I'd rather find a compromise.

I'm kinda thinking Bridezilla. Let the mother be with her new born, if I was in her shoes and I was told that my 3 week old baby had to sit elsewhere - with whomever - grandparents/aunts - I would gracefully bow out.....
now with that being said, ladies please don't bother quoting my message and leaving me your responses :-)
I'm merely providing my opinion to her question

That’s tough situation! The baby is so young and it is your day. You want to be able to hear everything. I would maybe suggest if the baby could be with the grandparents during this and she be with it during other times. Once dinner is done; she can have it and do as pleases as most people are walking around

I have a different opinion that maybe the matter can be approached of having a seperate table for her and her husband and the grandparents to help out with the baby. I have been through a miscarriage but I know I would never want to be separated from my baby when it’s only a month old. I can understand your friends feelings, and I can understand yours as well for not wanting a lot of crying at the head table.

Also since I’ve been through induced labour when I had my misscarriage I know how it feels 3 weeks later and I was only in my first trimester. A side table may help your friend as well as her body will be going through lots of changes in the weeks after birth. So that may be a way to approach the matter in a positive way to suggest that maybe a sweetheart table is better. Even if she’s not choosing to breastfeed she will be getting milk coming in and although my milk never came my chest hurt like hell. So it may require more than just stepping away because the hormones are rebalancing. I hope all goes well for you and your friend.

I agree with the others, you’re not out of line! The baby can sit with the grandparents during dinner/speeches. It’s not like your bridesmaid is going to breastfeed at the head table in front of the entire wedding, so why can’t her parents bottle feed the kid for one meal? And if absolutely necessary, your bridesmaid can step away for a couple minutes.

I think you are very entitled to feel however you like when it surrounds your wedding. I know it's not ideal but what is the alternative? For example if you don't want her up at the head table, are you going to tell her that? That's the only thing I think of is how do you say that to one of your BM. It's a tough situation for sure!

At that age the baby probably won’t make much of a fuss except for when he or she is hungry but I’d probably ask that during the speeches that her parents care for the baby. I think it’s fair, it is your wedding day and you just want to be able to hear the speeches and things go smoothly. Then if baby cries her parents can take and feed baby, I’m sure she’d have some bottles prepared just in case she wants some wine or champagne?

I totally understand, and I think that the baby should be with her parents. Like you said, she can easily step away for a moment if the baby needs her. She can always have her parents change the baby. They won't mind, they are grandparents! But I agree, babies cry and fuss and if it's too loud that will definitely trigger something. It's best for both you, her, the wedding and the baby of they baby is in the comfort of your bridesmaids parents. Just talk to her and explain to her that you're not comfortable with having a newborn at the head table. If she insists being with her baby then maybe switch to a sweetheart table and the wedding party at their own.